Patience
by Psycho Weasel
Summary: Sequel to R4M. Yamato comes back broken  emotionaly  from the USA where he hopes to basically start over again. But the past won't allow him to forget, at least not so soon. His only hope is his "best friend," Taichi. Deals with dating abuse. Slash. Taito
1. Prologue: Patience

_**NOTE:**__ I'm ba-a-ack! :D Did you miss me? Well, as promised, here is the sequel to the story "Reaching for the Moon." I actually found myself struggling with this story a little (THERE'S SO MANY THINGS THAT NEED/I WANT TO HAPPEN!) and so my updating, _may_ be a little slower than the other story. May is the key word..._

_This story is in Yamato's POV. Because of that I will be naming the chapters after songs that I feel fit with the chapter. I most likely will also include a verse or two from the actual song. And yes...it is a bit angsty...but there is a _LOT_ more Taito action in this story than the first one! I promise._

_With out further ado, here is the Prologue to my new fanfic, "Patience."_

_**WARNINGS:**__ Swearing, angst and slash. Slash? Yes. Don't like it? Don't read it._

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ "If I Owned Digimon." By Psycho Weasel. "If I owned Digimon, Tai and Matt would have done many naughty things together and gotten together at the end. Also Tai wouldn't have given up his goggles! The end." Moral of the sad story: I don't own Digimon._

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**PROLOGUE-Patience**

I was in love with Taichi Yagami. Really…I was. And I know that he was in love with me.

But when you're separated for a long period of time, I guess things start to change. People start to change. He decided to be with Sora and in return, and slight revenge, I decided to be with Peter. Peter was a good guy, he really was. I never would have suspected things to fall down hill...At first, he made me feel like I was worth something and told me he loved me more than anything…more than anyone ever would.

"I love you more than anyone ever has or will." That was always his excuse. Honestly, I believed it. First it was my parents splitting up, then Takeru, and then Taichi…once Taichi abandoned me, I was a wreck. So when Peter stepped in and treated me like he cared for me and always wanted to stay by my side, I couldn't help but to believe what ever he said. Even when he'd shout at me...even when he'd isolate me from almost everyone else...even when he'd hit me…I still believed him. Every single word. Words that would be branded into my soul and heart forever.

I knew that I had trapped myself in a personal prison cell. I was constantly worried that if I did something wrong, he would hurt me. If I spent too much time with my grandmother, he would think that I was cheating on him and wouldn't talk to me for a long period of time. And when he would talk to me, it was of how he was the only one who really cared and worried about me and that if I didn't do what he said that he would leave me. I should have been the one to leave…but I am weak and stupid. I wasn't strong enough to tell him no or to stand up for myself. I'm never strong enough…but Taichi was strong. That's something I liked about him.

Peter didn't think so however. Taichi obviously wasn't strong enough to wait for me a full year. He wasn't strong enough to pick up a damn paper and pencil and write to me. He wasn't strong enough to show any interest in his so-called "best friend." Taichi wasn't strong in Peter's eyes…but sometimes I thought that maybe what Peter feared was that the bond Taichi and I had been too strong. Stronger than what I'd ever had with anyone…Peter always was the jealous type.

Peter. Boarding school. The United States. That is all behind me now. Now I had to face Japan, high school, and Taichi. I don't think I still feel anything for him, Peter made sure of that…but what if he did still feel something for me? What if Taichi really did love me still? What if he was still willing to fight for me? What if…

No. Don't be stupid Yamato. He gave up on me and I gave up on him. There is nothing left to hold on to. Besides, I'm not ready or willing to love again. Not yet...not after Peter…I can't…

Patience. That is what I needed from everyone now more than ever. I needed patience so that the scars would heal. I needed patience so that I could trust myself to have another relationship with anyone. I needed patience…and I know that that is something that Taichi can never give me.

**_oXoXoXo_**

_Just have a little patience_  
_I'm still hurting from a love I lost_  
_I'm feeling your frustration_  
_Any minute all the pain will stop._

_Just hold me close inside your arms tonight_  
_Don't be too hard on my emotions._

_[Chorus:]_  
_'Cause I_  
_Need time_  
_My heart is numb, has no feeling_  
_So while I'm still healing_  
_Just try and have a little patience._

_I really wanna start over again_  
_I know you wanna be my salvation_  
_The one that I can always depend._

_I'll try to be strong_  
_Believe me I'm trying to move on_  
_It's complicated but understand me._

_[Chorus]_

_'Cause the scars run so deep_  
_It's been hard but I have to believe_  
_Just have a little patience [x2]_

_[Chorus]_

_Have a little patience_  
_My heart is numb, has no feeling_  
_So while I'm still healing_  
_Just try and have a little patience_

_"Patience"_

_-Take That_

**_OxOxOxOx_**

**_NOTE:_**

_...so for this song I just decided to put the whole song lyrics in. I'd actually advise you to look up the song and listen to it. I think it's more powerful than the text itself. If you look on my page, there is also a link to the music video that inspired this story (and also so inspired "R4M"). I know it's short, and I know you're mad, and I know you're confused...but please bare with me on these first few chapters. Like I said, all will reveil itself in good time._

_Tell me what you think! Good? Bad? WTF? Flames will be used to roast weenies!_

_I have a feeling people are going to jump at me and be like, "WTF? I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS WAS A TAITO STORY? WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?" Let me explain...this story, the whole story, has to deal with the subject of date abuse. I'm not trying to offend anyone, and I'm not trying to make fun of it or anything. I just decided that taking on this topic will give me sort of a challenge and a decent story plot. If you don't like this subject, please go find another story that will satisfy you better. Please give this story a chance._


	2. Stop and Stare

_**NOTE:**__ Another chapter coming right up! The reason for the quick update is because I will be gone this weekend and won't have computer access. So I decided to treat you all with another chapter. :) I hope you all enjoy it!_

_**WARNINGS:** Mild swearing I suppose and slash. Slash? Yes. Don't like it? Don't read it._

_Last warning for this story: It is angst and deals with the topic of dating abuse. I am not trying to make fun of dating abuse or trying to offend anyone. It was just a topic that I had stumbled upon and decided to take on the challenge of writing a story dealing with this. If you don't want to read about it, then maybe it would be wise to find a different story. I ask however that you give this story a chance. Again, this is the last warning/expliantion. The rest will be read at your own risk._

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ If I owned Digimon...TAI WOULD STILL HAVE HIS GOGGLES! (and yes, I am very passionate about his goggles)!_

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**CHAPTER 1-Stop and Stare**

"_**Message: Twenty-five. BEEP! **__Hey Yamato…It's Taichi…again. Look, I'm sorry about what happened ok? Just please give me another chance? I'll make it up to you…call back please. Bye._

"_**Message: Twenty-six. BEEP!**__ Yamato, come on, it's been almost three weeks since you've talked to me. At least pick up the phone or call me back or something…by the way, it's Taichi._

"_**Message: Twenty-seven. BEEP!**__ Ok, so you've been complaining about how I've acted and yet you won't talk to me? That's stupid Yamato! I need to freaking talk to you!_

"_**Message: Twenty-eight. BEEP!**__ PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE ALREADY! _

"_**Message: Twenty-nine. BEEP! **__Yamato? ...You probably aren't going to get this until a year after I called but I just wanted to call and say…I'm really sorry…thanks for writing to me…it really meant a lot to…well, anyways. Thanks. And…I guess I'll see you…in a year…bye._

"_**End of messages."**_

I sighed with relief once the answering machine finally announced its end. Twenty-nine phone messages from Taichi Yagami in only the first three and a half week period that I had been gone to the United States. After wards, I guess he hadn't called...but twenty-nine? He must have _really_ wanted to talk.

Now I would have been willing to talk to him…if he had only put forth the effort. In the beginning, we'd write to each other all the time. Slowly, as the weeks went by, I started receiving less and less letters from him. Finally, it stopped completely once he announced that he and Sora got together.

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but that's a load of bull shit. It had hurt to know that he had already moved on and I hadn't…I guess it was for the best that we lost contact in the end. If it hadn't been for that then I probably wouldn't have gotten over him. I probably wouldn't have spent so much time with my music and desperately trying to get Masaru Suzuki to get together a band. I wouldn't have gotten to know my grandmother. And I wouldn't have…been alone with Peter so much.

"Yamato," my father called to me, bringing me out from my memories. "You better hurry up if you don't want to be late for school." I started to brush my teeth once again and moved back into the bathroom. I spat out the toothpaste foam, rinsed my mouth and looked into my reflection. I frowned and traced the scar that ran down from my eyebrow to my cheek bone. I looked away from the weak person I saw in the mirror. "Yamato?"

"Well, you shouldn't have distracted me with Taichi's never ending phone messages," I joked as I went to my room and started my search for my uniform jacket. I heard him chuckle from the other room. "You weren't kidding when you said he was desperate to talk to me."

"Yeah, he said it was pretty important too," my dad said. Of course it was…because the night before I hadn't told him a straight up answer of whether I liked him or not. I ended up deciding that I did and I thought we were going doing just fine…until the reality of the distance between us ruined it. My dad walked into my bedroom, holding the green jacket. "Hope you don't mind that I ironed it for you." I blinked at him a few times.

"You iron now?" I asked in shock. He smiled.

"Well, I had to keep myself busy while you were away," he half joked.

"I'm sorry Dad…"

"For what? Like you said before you left, it would be a great challenge and experience for you. There's no need to apologize." He watched me as I took the jacket and started to gather my new school supplies. "There is something I want to give you Yamato." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that he was reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small, blue and black, squared object. I turned my full attention to the object and realized that it was a cell phone.

"You got me a cell phone?" I asked smiling. He nodded. "Wow, thanks Dad. I don't know what to say. That's really nice of—" I stopped. _I know why he was giving me a cell phone… _"You talked to Takeru didn't you?"

"I just…wanted to see how his visit went," he said as he awkwardly held out the phone. "And I asked him how you were…and he might have brought up that one night—"

"I don't want to talk about it," I cut him off.

"But what happened Yamato?" he pressed on. "Why won't you tell anyone why you were so beat up?"

"I already told you guys: I was playing football with my American buddies. That's all. Dad, _please._"

"...Well…just take this to be safe, ok?" He placed the phone in my hand. "You're…all that I really have left Yamato…" We looked at each other for a moment. He smiled at me.

"Thanks Dad," I finally said, before heading out the door. "I'll see you later tonight."

"Have a good day, son...And don't forget to make the right choices," I looked backed at him and he shrugged. "Just felt like I had to say that." I nodded then closed the door.

_Too late for that…_

**oXoXoXo**

They're staring at me…I just know they are. I don't know why though. I looked the same as when I left last year. Granted my hair was a little longer and I had a scar down my left eye, but other than that I looked like a normal high school student. And yet, here I was, looking like a lost idiot in the halls of a new school and everyone just stared at me. Girls and boys alike. I tried hard to focus on looking for my homeroom, but found myself unable to determine whether the last number was a six, or a nine. Funny how much you can forget in just one year…

Because I had my attention on the class schedule, I didn't notice the other person until I ran into just then. He had been carrying school items and dropped them all to the floor while he stumbled back. My face flushed as I looked up at the other boy. He had dark crazy hair and was quite muscular. His brown eyes looked in annoyance at the mess.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized as I quickly bent down to pick up his school supplies.

"No worries," he chuckled. "Hey, you don't have to pick them up you know? I can do it myself." He bent down as well and started to gather up the scattered papers. I picked up his books and handed it to them. He took them gratefully and I quickly stood and hurried down the hall. "Thanks!"

_Stupid!_ I growled to myself as I slid between a chatty group and the wall. _Way to make a first impression in a new school. Now people have a better reason to stare at you…speaking of which, WHY THE HELL ARE THEY ALL STARING? I mean, how would they feel if they were in a new school and people just stared at them? _I slowed down a little into a walk. _It's almost like...they know... _I stopped behind a group that was happily chatting away. I tried finding a way around them, but there was also another group that caused a hallway blockage.

"Excuse me," I said quietly to the first group. They burst into giggles after a boy with red hair said something. "Excuse me." They continued their conversation, completely ignoring me. "Excuse me!" Nothing. _Gee...I thought that once I was back to Japan, people would actually notice me again. But I guess I am still invisible…A worthless, invisible person._ "OH MY GOSH! MOVE!" _Did I just say that?_ I lowered my gaze as the group looked at me. I rubbed my left arm and stared at my shoes. _Where the hell did that come from?_ "I'm sorry. I just—"

"Yamato?" a feminine voice asked. I looked up and blinked a few times at the girl in front of me.

"Mimi?" Mimi stared at me a bit longer before squealing with happiness and throwing herself on me for a hug. I flinched at the hug and didn't hug back, but I also didn't push her away.

"I can't believe it's you!" she beamed as she pulled out of the hug. "You've changed a lot Yamato!"

"This is Yamato?" a familiar sounding boy with shaggy blue hair and glasses asked. The red haired boy stared quizzically at me.

"Yes it is!" Mimi replied. "Come on Jyou! You can't tell me it's not him!"

"He certainly has changed…" the other boy said. Jyou scratched his head and—Wait a minute…

"Jyou? Koushiro?" I asked. They have most definatley changed within a year. As I mentioned before, Jyou had long shaggy hair, and he had traded in his old nerdy glasses for more sophisticated ones. Koushiro had shot up about five inches and his hair was shorter. Mimi looked almost the same…except she now carried…feminine qualities. "Wow…it's really been a long time…"

"Yeah, same to you Captain America," Koushiro grinned at me. I growled to myself. "How was living there?"

"…Different…" I answered. "Completely different. From the food, the clothing style, the people…everything." A girl with orange hair came up behind Mimi.

"Mimi," she said. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Oh, I'm sorry Sora!" Mimi exclaimed. "I got a little distracted!" Her eyes flickered over to my direction. Sora looked over at me and checked me out.

"Who is this?" she asked, slightly blushing. I smiled slightly.

"What? It's only been a year and you've already forgotten me Sora?" I teased. "I'm insulted."

"Yamato?" her eyes widened. Mimi nodded furiously and grinned. Sora checked me out again. _Again with the staring…_The bell rang, signaling classes were about to start.

"We better get going," Jyou said taking Mimi's hand in his own.

"When did you two get together?" I asked utterly confused. The last time I had seen them, Mimi was about to claw Jyou's eyes out. Mimi smiled at me sheepishly.

"Didn't I tell you? We've been going out for a year and a half now."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Taichi set it up pretty much," Mimi smiled up at Jyou as he gave her hand a tight squeeze. Watching Jyou do that caused me to want to start rubbing my hand.

"What is your homeroom number?" Koushiro asked. I looked down at my hands to look at my class schedule…only to realize I didn't have it with me. _The other guy must have taken it!_

"Shit!" I hissed. The group stared at me with shock. "I must have dropped it when I ran into him." They were still staring. I started getting a little self-conscious and agitated. "What?"

"Since when did you start swearing?" Jyou asked. I hadn't noticed really that I started a swearing habit.

"I…hadn't really noticed," I repeated out loud.

"I guess Yamato's a little American gangster now," Koushiro grinned. I glared at him while he turned and hurried off to class. "I'll see you guys later. It was great seeing you again Yamato!"

"Come on Jyou," Mimi beamed as she pulled her boyfriend the same direction. "We're going to be late." Jyou waved at us and followed Mimi's lead.

"Do you want me to come with you to find the counselor's office?" Sora asked. "So that you can get a new schedule?"

"No, I'm ok," I replied turning away from her. "Besides, aren't you _Taichi's_ girlfriend?" I walked away from her. I didn't really mean for it to be rude, but I also couldn't tell if it had come across that way...

Well, that wasn't going to help me because I was lost and homeroom-less. I remember the first two numbers…it was one and five…now the question was whether the last number was a six or a nine. My eye caught the classroom 156 and I stopped. I stared at it a moment before sighing and walking in.

I was welcomed with many eyes staring at me. I could feel myself blush as the teacher peered down at me from his glasses.

"Name?" he asked. The teacher was a short, thin man with round glasses that matched his round head. He had close to no hair and had a higher voice than a male teacher should usually have. "I don't think your shoes will have your name on them kid." The class busted into giggles and I turned even redder as I looked back up at the teacher.

"Ishida," I muttered. "Yamato Ishida…"

"Ishida?" The teacher looked down his list of names. "That name doesn't seem familiar…"

"I wasn't here last year," I explained. "I transferred back from a boarding school in the United states." He looked back up at me with an impressed look on his face, then turned his attention back to the list. As he hummed a little tune while looking for my name, I looked up at the class. They were either whispering quietly to one another, or keeping themselves busy. One student in particular didn't do either. The same guy I ran into earlier just stared at me with a shocked look on his face. I smiled at him slightly.

"Ah-ha!" the teacher exclaimed while slamming his finger on the list. "You're in luck Ishida! Here you are!" He adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. "There are two spots available, either up here in the front, or in the back next to…" He pointed at the student staring at me. "Big hair over there…what's your name?" He looked down the list of names again. "Oh yes! Taichi Yagami."

I panicked in the inside as I once again looked up at Taichi. We stared at each other for what seemed like for ever. I didn't know how to react to him. There were so many emotions that exploded in my mind at that point. Anger. Hate. Betrayal. Sadness. Fear. Confusion...It had been so long…

"I…I think I'll sit up here for today," I said as I numbly moved to the empty seat in the front of the class.

"Nice choice," the teacher said. He glared at Taichi's direction and made a disgusted face. "Yagami! Stop drooling!" The class giggled. "I'm sure you're not the _only_ one that finds our new student attractive…isn't that right ladies?" The girls of the class all giggled. I covered my face with my hands once I finally felt Taichi's stare tear away from me. What I wouldn't give to not be the new kid at this school...having to deal with this...

_Why me?_

**-X-X-X-X-**

_This town is colder now_  
_I think it's sick of us_  
_It's time to make our move_  
_I'm shakin' off the rust_  
_I've got my heart set _  
_on anywhere but here_  
_I'm staring down myself, counting up the years_  
_Steady hands just take the wheel_  
_Every glance is killing me_  
_Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead_

_Stop and stare_  
_I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere_  
_Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared_  
_But I've become what I can't be_  
_Ohhh_

_Stop and stare_  
_You start to wonder why you're here not there_  
_And you'd give anything to get what's fair_  
_But fair ain't what you really need_  
_Oh, can you see what I see_**  
**

_-Stop and Stare, One Republic_

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_Don't you just love establishing chapters? Well, that is what these first two legit chapters are. Please, no flames, but tell me what you think. :) Thanks to all the wonderful people out there who are taking the time to read this story and give me feed-back!_


	3. I Don't Want To Be In Love

_**NOTE:** I decided to be nice and post the next chapter up today. :) I was going to wait until the weekend...but I couldn't wait. These first two chapters are just more of introductions to character and all that fun stuff...the next chapter will hopefully have more to it, and maybe even some more noticable Taito. :)_

_P.S. Memories: -O-O-O-O- Song verse: -X-X-X-X-_

_**WARNINGS: **Bit of language and slash. Slash? Yes. Don't like it? Don't read it._

_**DISCLAIMER:** If I owned Digimon Sora and Matt would NOT have ended up together! And Tai would still have his goggles!_

_

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_

**CHAPTER 2. I Don't Want To Be In Love**

____

Two Weeks Later…

"I hope you like the guys," Masaru told me as we walked to the city park. "I mean, I think I picked out some pretty good musicians to be in the band, but since you're the leader—"

"Wanna tell me again why _I'm_ the leader of this band?" I asked.

"Because you were the one who was pestering me about making a band from _another country,_" he replied, leading me toward the area where the tennis courts were located. "Besides, I heard from the ladies that you're quite the eye-candy." He winked and I sighed miserably. Every time I walk by a group of girls, they would just giggle and follow me with their eyes. I honestly didn't think I changed that much since I had left…but apparently I had. Even Sora _and_ Mimi were giving me occasional stares, and they _both_ had boyfriends.

Speaking of Sora, I hadn't talked to Taichi since I ran into him in the hall. It really wasn't that hard to avoid him since I sat in front of the class and close to the door. There are times where he will try to catch up with me, but I have become really good at disappearing. Besides, I found out that there is really nothing that I wanted to say to him. He made his choice and I made mine. Also, I don't want to find out that I still have feelings for him. I don't feel like I do…but I don't want to risk the chance. So the only solution I could think of was to avoid him at all costs.

My thoughts were interrupted when Masaru quickly raised his hand. I stopped and tried to block his hand, but noticed that he was only waving to two other boys sitting at a park bench. One boy had dark hair and glasses and the other had longer brown hair.

"Hey fellas! Look who I have here!" Masaru motioned them over. They stood and met us half way.

"Is this our leader?" the one with glasses asked while tilting his head slightly. Masaru put a hand on my shoulder, causing me to tense up a little.

"Yep! The one and only," he grinned. "Guys, this is Yamato Ishida. Yamato, this is your band. Shino Hayashi and Hayato Takahashi." Shino, the one with glasses, gave me a thumbs up and Hayato, the one with longer hair, smiled.

"Nice to meet you two," I say to them. "What instruments do you play?"

"Yamato, I told you while we were coming up here," Masaru said to me.

"You did?" I asked confused. He nodded and I started to play back the conversation we had while walking over here. I must have been thinking about Taichi while he was explaining them. "Sorry…I-I must not have been paying attention." I pull away from his hand.

"Meh, it's ok. As I said earlier, Shino has played the piano since he was five and so he will be our keyboard man. Hayato has a great rhythm with the drums. And of course, I will be playing bass because you know how awesome I am at it." I smiled at the comment.

For several years, we had been teaching ourselves how to play the electric string instruments. He learned bass and I learned guitar. Creating a band had been something we had wanted to do and would talk about constantly. Unfortunately, it never got past the talking part. Once I was living in the United States however, I became persistent in creating a band. Not only so that we would have something to do, but also to distract me from Peter…

My smile faded and I ask, "Who is playing the guitar?"

"I thought you were going to," Masaru asked surprised. I shook my head.

"I…I'd rather not," I answer honestly. "I can lead you guys and stuff, but not guitar." Shino and Hayato exchanged curious glances. "Does anyone know a guitarist that would be willing to play?"

"Oh! There's an old man who plays guitar next door to me! We can ask him!" Shino volunteered enthusiastically.

"…A bunch of teenagers with an old man…that's not at _all_ creepy," Hayato said before smacking Shino up-side the head. "Idiot." I must have looked really uncomfortable because Hayato just looked at me and smiled. "Oh don't worry Ishida. Shino and I go way back. We've been buddies since elementary school." Shino nodded while rubbing his sore head.

_Still…_I thought bitterly.

"My cousin knows how to play," Masaru said. "Maybe we—"

"Masaru!" a female voice called from behind.

"Speak of the devil." We all turned and saw a thin girl running toward us. If it hadn't been for Masaru pointing out that they were cousins, you would never be able to guess that they were related. She had straight black hair and dark grey eyes. She was wearing a tennis manager uniform and a white sweat band around her head. Masaru had shaggy brown hair almost covered his green eyes, but you could still see them and they looked as though they were screaming to you, "Let's be friends now!" He always had a friendly personality, while his cousin on the other hand wore a serious expression as she came up to us.

"What are you boys doing here?" she asked the group. Then she glared at me. "And who is this?"

"We're presenting my friend Yamato the band," Masaru explained. "Everyone, this is Usagi Abe."

"Anneke," she corrected. "I prefer my middle name to my real one."

"So, we've heard that you play the guitar," said Hayato, trying to sound charming. She looked coldly at him.

"Yes. What's it to you?" she asked calmly. Hayato took a step back nervously and didn't say anything.

"We were just wondering if you wanted to join our band," I say cooly. Her dark eyes turn to me once again. I think she was looking for me to give off some sort of reaction like Hayato, but I didn't. I had seen worse looks than what she was giving me…a lot worse.

"Sure, why not," she finally says after our stare-down. She smirks. "Besides, you seem like a very interesting person Yamato Ishida. When is the first practice?"

"As soon as we figure out where we will be practicing," I reply slowly. Anneke nods then turns to leave. She stops however and faces me again.

"You know what Yamato?" she says, while trying to "scare" me again. "I think we may be destined not to like each other…"

"That's comforting," I roll my eyes. "Besides, I don't believe in destiny." _If I did, then I would be with Taichi most likely right now._ Anneke holds her stare at me a while longer, before she gives up and heads toward the tennis courts.

"I'll be with the tennis players if you need me Masaru," she says as she leaves.

"Thanks cousin!" Masaru calls after her. Silence follows.

"Dude! If looks could kill!" Hayato exhaled with relief once she was out of ear-shot.

"She's a good person," Masaru sighed. "I'm not sure how she got to be so serious though."

"I think she's cute," Shino smiled. Hayato stared at his friend in disbelief and shook his head. "What do you think Yamato?"

"Well, you guys know how she thinks of me…but I'd need to get to know her better," I shrug. "Right now however, we need to figure out where to have our practices."

"And a band name," Masaru added. We all mutter agreements as a group of girls come up to us in tennis uniforms.

"Hi guys," the leader of the girls says.

"Hello," Shino grins. I hear a few of the girls giggle.

"We were wondering what brings such cute boys like you over here to the tennis courts," the leader continues. I catch her looking at me.

"Funny, because we were wondering what a bunch of angels were doing near the tennis courts as well," Hayato winked at one girl with curly hair.

_Oh please._ I roll my eyes at the cheesy line and the girls all giggle. We introduced ourselves and some of the girls did the same. I see the girls occasionally look at me, more than the others, and so I turn away slightly from them. In doing so, I see Sora and Taichi coming over to the group. They were holding hands. _Oh shit Taichi, I don't feel like talking to you._

"I'll see you guys later," I say, quickly leaving the group. "It was nice meeting you all."

"Yamato," I hear Sora call. I ignore her and keep going. I hear Taichi's voice and then footsteps. I knew that he must have offered to get me and so I broke off into a run. I managed to reach the park exit before I feel someone grab my arm and stop me. I turn and jerk my arm out of Taichi's grasp.

"Don't!" I pant slightly.

"Well, someone is a little feisty," Taichi smiled. He didn't look tired at all...oh right. It's because he's a damn soccer player. "How are you doing Yamato?"

"Fine. Bye." I turn to leave again, but he got in the way. "Leave me alone Taichi."

"I want to talk to you," he protested.

"I don't."

"Yamato, we haven't talked to each other in a really long time."

"Who's fault is that?"

"I would write to you a lot and I never got any letters ever since I told you about Sora and I." _Ah…so Peter wasn't only stopping _his_ mail from getting to me… _"Yamato, you're my best friend—"

"How can you still say that Taichi?" I ask a little annoyed at the title. Taichi opened his mouth, and then closed it.

"I don't know," he said smiling suddenly. I look at him a little confused.

"What's so funny?" I ask. He chuckles to himself. "What?"

"Nothing," he grins. We stared at each other for a moment, him with his stupid grin and me with my confused look. I remember how his smile would always make me melt a little in the inside. But now…I didn't really feel anything. _Good._ His smile finally left and he shook his head, as though he was trying to clear some sort of thought. He focused on me again. "Hey, I was wondering Yamato. You want to hang out later tonight or something?" I shift my gaze to the ground. I want to say no…but part of me is afraid that something bad will happen…

-O-O-O-O-

"_No?" Peter scoffed. __I nodded slightly. He growled something as he took another long swig of his beer. "You don't want to stay here this weekend?"_

"_No I don't," I say quietly. "Peter, please, my grandmother isn't doing well. She needs somebody to take care of her and I'm the only person close enough to her now."_

"_She's not dying is she?" Peter spat. I winced._

"_No, thank goodness. But—"_

_"Has she broken a hip or something?"_

_"Of course not, but—"_

"_Do you want to really piss me off?"_

"_No but—"_

"_Then dammit Yamato, don't say 'no' to me!" He turned away from me and staggered over to throw away the can. I couldn't leave my grandmother alone in that house in her sick condition. I took that opportunity and make a run for the door. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough. Peter grabbed my arm and threw me against the coffee table. Pain erupted from my left eye and I felt something wet slide down my face. I touched it and looked. _Blood…oh shit._ As the left side of my face throbbed with pain, I looked up and saw Peter looming over me. "I guess you really do want to piss me off, huh Yamy? Well, you have, so now you're going to get it." I curled into a tighter circle and try to protect my head._

-O-O-O-O-

"Yamato?" I snapped my head up and looked around quickly. I was still in the same spot. I had only been remembering that experience…I wasn't re-living it or anything. Just a memory…a bad one. I look in front of me and see Taichi. He's there. Just standing there. Waiting for me…after all this time.

_He's still here… _My hands reach up to touch his face. Taichi watches cautiously but shows no sign of objection._ He won't hurt you. It's Taichi._ Just inches away from his jaw, I realize what I'm doing and pull my hands away. _What the hell Yamato? Where did that come from? _

"Yamato?" Taichi sounds concerned. He steps forward and I take three steps back. "What's wrong?"

"N-no," I whisper. I shut my eyes tight. _Don't hurt me, please._

"What?"

"No."

"What are—"

"NO!" I open my eyes and run away from him.

"Yamato!" he calls after me. He doesn't follow however. I didn't stop running until I reached the door of my apartment. I shoved the key into the door knob and throw the door open. I go in and slam the door shut before sinking to the floor. That's when I started to think about what had happened.

Ok, so maybe I over reacted just a _little_. Maybe I shouldn't have run off like that and maybe I should have given our friendship another chance. I think however, that a huge part of me doesn't _want_ to give it a chance. I was lucky enough to realize that I don't have any feelings for him…and I want to keep it that way. I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want to be heartbroken again. I don't want a relationship with anyone right now. And most importantly, I don't want to fall in love with Taichi Yagami again...I hope.

**-X-X-X-X-**

_Everybody put up your hands_  
_Say I don't wanna be in love_  
_I don't wanna be in love_  
_Feel the beat now_  
_If you've got nothing left_  
_Say I don't wanna be in love_  
_I don't wanna be in love_  
_Back it up now_  
_You've got a reason to live_  
_Say I don't wanna be in love_  
_I don't wanna be in love_  
_Feelin' good now_  
_Don't be afraid to get down_  
_Say I don't wanna be in love_  
_I don't wanna be in love_

_-I Don't Want To Be In Love, Good Charlotte_

* * *

_Well...here is chapter two. Please tell me what you think! Flames are highly discouraged...but if there happens to be one, I will take it and use it to roast weenies. :) Thanks to my awesome reviewers and those who faved and placed this story in their alert list!_


	4. You're Beautiful

_**NOTE:**__ Surprise, surprise! Here is another chapter! I didn't like the up-dating on Wednesday thing...so I decided to add another chapter to get back on the weekend scheduel! This chapter is a bit of a doozy because it still has to do with some "house keeping chores" for the story. I don't know if you guys like long chapters or not...but here you go!_

_**WARNING:**__ Slash and language. Don't like slash? What are you doing here then?_

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ Ok, if I owned Digimon, Tai and Matt would totally be a couple! And Tai would still have his goggles!_

* * *

**CHAPTER 3. You're Beautiful**

Taichi and I had a complicated relationship. There would be times where we would find time to talk and such, but most of the time it consisted of him trying to get me to hang out with him. He wanted to "mend our friendship" but I didn't want to. I didn't want to end up hurt again or with a broken heart. Besides, he had Sora.

The more often I would say it the more easier, and difficult, it became to say no to Taichi. It became easier because it gave me a sort of confidence to know that he wouldn't hurt me if I objected to his proposal to hang out and "mend our friendship." It became more difficult because Taichi is a stubborn jackass. He would always catch me in the halls and ask if I would want to hang out. I would always say no. One particular Friday after school however, everything changed. Taichi was standing next to my desk as soon as the bell signaling that school was over rang. He stood quietly for a moment and watched me as I packed up my supplies.

"Wanna hang out?"

"No."

"Wanna hang out?"

"No."

"Wanna hang out?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"No!" Taichi sighed as I stood and walked out the door. He followed me out and down the hall.

"Yamato, why won't you give this a chance again?"

"I already told you, I'm busy with the band. We're still trying to figure out a place to have our practices and not disrupt anyone else." _I also don't want to feel anything for you again._

"Well, after you find some place…" he trailed off. He was looking at something down the hall. Once I followed his gaze, I knew why he stopped. Sora waved to us from down the hall.

"After I find some place, you'll still be busy with your girlfriend," I said to him. I looked at his face and am shocked. He looks defeated and…miserable. I look back at Sora, then to him and sigh. "But…yes. I promise we can hang out once we find some place." Taichi looked at me and smiled. I smiled half-heartedly back at him.

"Yamato…thanks for at least talking to me now," he says. I nod and head home.

**oXoXoXoXo**

"Yamato?" My father calls to me. I stop from taking off my shoes and look up at him. "Oh, there you are. How was school?"

"Good. What are you doing here Dad?" I ask. "I thought you had work."

"I do, but I had to come back and get a few things first…I also wanted to let you know that one of our old studios is free for you and your band to use."

"Huh? How did you know?"

"Well, I overheard you talking to your friend Masaru and figured that this would help you guys to be able to start working on your band faster."

"I…I don't really appreciate you snooping on me, Dad…but thank you." He smiles at me and then goes into his room. I pull out my cell phone and call Masaru to tell him the news. He is thrilled and we both agree to gather the band up and meet at the place. I am about to hang up, when I remember something. "Hey Masaru?"

"Yes?"

"Is it ok if Taichi comes along with us?" I ask.

"You're the leader," Masaru says without missing a beat. I groan and he chuckles. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Right, bye." I hang up the phone and start to punch in Taichi's phone number. It rings a few times before his little sister answers.

"Hello?" …At least I _think_ it's his little sister. Her voice didn't sound like the cheerful eleven year old girl I recognized. This person sounded older and more mature. "Hello? Is anyone there? Takeru, you better not be prank-calling me again." _Yep, it's her._

"Hello…Hikari," I say. _I had almost forgotten her name…stupid._ "Is Taichi home?"

"Hello Yamato," She says. She sounds like she is in a bit of pain, but mostly cheerful. "I haven't heard from you in a long time. It's great to know you and my brother are talking again."

"…Yeah," I admit. "It does feel a little nice."

"I will go find my brother and let him know you're on the phone." I hear her place the phone on the table and go off to find her brother. I hear her faintly converse with another person, then a louder, "WHAT?" rings out. I smile as I hear footsteps come toward the phone.

"Hello?" Taichi's anxious voice answered. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey," I reply. There was silence for a moment and I started to feel a little uncomfortable. "You…still there?"

"Huh? Oh yeah! Sorry I just…can't really believe you're calling me…" I feel slightly guilty at the remark. "Anyways…what's up?"

"Oh. Well…remember when I promised to hang out with you once the band found someplace to practice?"

"…yes."

"Do you…well, the band will be there but…do you want to come with me…to check the place out?"

"…I'd love to."

**oXoXoXoXo**

"Well, she's a keeper!" Shino chimed happily as the group walked out of the studio my father had told us about. Hayato nodded.

"Dude, it's like perfect!" Masaru said to Anneke. "It's got lights, a good sized stage…all we need is put in all the equipment in and we're set."

"Yeah, nice," she said flatly.

"Who sucked out her emotions?" Taichi whispered to me. I nudged him and he smiled at me. I tried to glare at him, but I ended up smiling as well. How could I keep a straight face when he was wearing a baseball tee with a happy hippopotamus on it?

"I like your shirt by the way," I say to him.

"Thanks," he chuckled. "I like yours too. It's…stripey." I looked down at my blue and white striped shirt. "Blue looks really good on you."

"Hey, I think this calls for a celebration," Hayato said, interrupting our shirt conversation. "Let's go to Naruto's place and have some fun!"

"What kind of fun?" I asked cautiously.

"If we're lucky, some karaoke," Hayato grinned. _Karaoke? _

"Why the long face Taichi?" Shino asked as he walked up to Taichi and examined his face. Taichi blinked a few times and took a step back.

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing really," He said.

"Having girl troubles?" Shino pressed on. I looked at Taichi. The same look I had seen earlier that school day was on his face again.

"No," he muttered.

"Ok…what about boy trouble then?" Shino asked innocently.

"What? No!" Taichi panicked and blushed. _Wait…he's blushing?_

"Shino, that's not funny," Masaru said.

"Well, if he's not having girl trouble, then it's gotta be a boy. So Taichi, who's the guy?"

"Cut it out!" I shouted at him. I stood between Shino and Taichi and glared at him. He backs off immediately. "It's not funny!"

"Gee, sorry Yamato," Shino muttered. He looked at me then at Taichi and perked up a little. "Seems to me, you both could lighten up a little! Who else is coming?"

"Sorry, but I have to study," Anneke said.

"But its Friday," Hayato said.

"So? I don't like to procrastinate."

"I'm afraid I can't join either," Masaru sighed. "My father wants me to help him with some sort of project he's working on. It was nice meeting you Taichi."

"Yeah, nice to know that jocks aren't just full of themselves." I glared at Anneke and she smiled at me, satisfied to finally get a reaction out. The two walked off afterward.

"Well, let's head off troops," Hayato said while walking the opposite way. Shino followed his friend. I started to follow and noticed that Taichi stayed behind. I looked back at him and saw that he was just staring at the ground.

"You coming?" I asked. He looked up at me, nodded and started to follow.

**oXoXoXoXo**

"I want to leave now," I murmured to the group just a few seconds after we got seated. Naruto's place was not only a karaoke place, but it was also a bar.

"Relax Yamato," Hayato said. "We just got here."

"Besides, 'Karaoke Mania' hasn't even started yet," Shino agreed. I slumped lower in my seat and folded my arms. The place looked like a typical bar, only there was a small stage for the karaoke and more room for tables. We were seated at a booth that was near the back of the room and closer to the bar. I looked to see how Taichi was reacting to this, but he looked busy in his own thoughts. I put my attention to the crowd that was starting to file into the bar. A red head male and a blonde girl walked in holding hands. The male looked at me and winked. I panicked and started to shove Taichi to let me out of the booth.

"I-I have to call my dad," I said once Taichi let me go. He looked a little confused.

"Well, what will you want to drink?" Shino asked.

"Either soda or water," I reply as I hurried off. "No alcohol!" I went into the bathroom and locked myself into a stall. I sighed and covered my face.

_Don't be stupid Yamato,_ I scolded myself. _Peter is in another country. He's not here. He can't be here._ I leaned against one of the walls. _Still…he did say that…he wasn't going to let me go that easy…_

-O-O-O-O-

_I tried to pull Peter's tight grip off of my forearm. He was pulling me away from a party that Michael, a friend of mine, invited me to. Peter found out about the party, him being the head boy of my group, and crashed the party with a few of his own friends. A few minutes later, he saw that Michael and I were getting "friendly with each other." In an act of jealousy, Peter excused us from the party and was now leading me back to the dorms. He was really angry, I could tell by his grip._

"_Open the door," he growled at me once we reached my dorm room. I obeyed and tried not to drop the key. Once we entered, Peter closed and locked the door, and then turned to me. Anger and jealousy burned in his eyes. "Who the hell was that dude?"_

"_H-he's just a friend," I whimpered and tried to pull away. "Really, he is. We have English together and—"_

"_I don't give a shit!" he shouted and slapped me across the face. I covered my face and shrank away from him. "I've been trying to find you for the past hour and a half! You don't tell me where the hell you're going and then I see you with some other dude! What do you suspect I'm supposed to think?" Tears start to fall down my cheeks and I quickly turn my face away from him. Peter glares at me a while longer, before exhaling and moving closer to me. He holds my face in his hands and brushes the tears away with his thumb._

"_I-I'm sorry," I whispered. He kissed my forehead and then my lips._

"_I only do this because I love you Yamy," he muttered to me. "More than anyone ever has. And I swear to you that I'm not giving you up without a fight." My heart sinks and he kisses me again with more passion._

-O-O-O-O-

A toilet flushes and I come back to the present time. My vision is blurred and it takes me a second to realize that tears were starting to form in my eyes. I growl in frustration, wipe the tears away and then pull out my cell phone to call my father. It rings three times before he answers.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey Dad. I'm just letting you know that me and a few of the guys are at some karaoke place right now. We should be home kind of late." I hear a beep and look at the phone. There was an unknown number trying to call me. I ignored it.

"Alright son," my father replies. "Are you alright? You sound kind of beat."

"I'm fine Dad," I sigh as the caller continues to try contacting me. "Just kind of tired I guess."

"How do you like the studio?"

"Oh, it's great! Thanks a lot Dad."

"I'm glad you like it. Well, I'll let you get back to your friends now. Take care, son."

"Thanks Dad. Bye."

"Bye." I hang up and see that there is "one missed call." I dismissed it and decided it was best to get back to the people I had left behind. When I do, I see that the three boys are locked into an intense conversation. Up on the stage are two females singing a duet of the song "Barbie Girl." I winced when one of them tried to hit a high note and sat next at the empty spot next to Taichi.

"Hey guys," I say to them. They all jump and look at me. "What?"

"Holy shit Yamato," Hayato slurred. "Ju nerly gave us all a heart attack!"

"Yeah, since when did ju get to be so damn sneaky?" Taichi giggled. He raised his shot glass in the air. "To da bitchez who did us wrong men!"

"To da bitchez!" The other two boys clinked their glasses against Taichi's and they all drank their shots. I noticed that Taichi made a painful face as the alcohol slid down his throat.

"Taichi, have you ever had any sort of alcohol before tonight?" I asked a little concerned. It takes him a minute to focus on me before he shook his head. "How many drinks have you had?" He tilted his head to the right side, then the left. I smiled slightly at this gesture.

"Hell, I dunno," he finally said. "Maybe like…nine of theze little guys and two of…dat stuff…" My smile disappears and my eyes widen.

"Nine?"

"Oi, Taichi! The bitchez are dun! Time fer you to shine!" Shino jumped out of his seat. Hayato also gets out from the booth and bows to Taichi. Taichi slides out and fixes his hippo shirt before making his way to the stage. I stared at the nine shot glasses that were spread out on the table. I felt angry, betrayed, torn…and heartbroken. Wait…heartbroken? No, I can't be. I don't feel anything for him.

"Hi guyz!" Taichi slurred. The audience shouted greetings back to him. "My name iz Taishi and I will be shinging a song called, 'You're Bootiful.'" The crowd, including Shino and Hayato, cheered for him. "Also…I'm dedicating it to—" He paused and looked around the audience. He found me, grinned and pointed. "I'm dedicating it to Yamato Is-shida!" The crowd whooped and cheered even louder. My face flushed as the music started to cue up. Taichi bobbed his head to the music before stopping and adding, "By the way, dis iz a dare."

"FAIL!" Shino and Hayato shouted at him. Taichi stuck his tongue out at them and started to sing the song.

I watch him. I still felt slightly embarrassed at what he had just dedicated to me, and also a little angry for him getting so drunk. I have to admit however, Taichi was funny when he is drunk. The way he was moving to the song and the actions he would use. Sometimes, the words would go too fast for him and he'd just say gibberish before catching up to the speed of the song. I cringed slightly as he tried to reach a higher note and smiled. Taichi was a sucky singer…but he was my sucky singing friend.

_"__You're bootiful!"_ Taichi sang. I smiled as he sang to me. Even if it _was_ a dare, the song was cute and thoughtful. _"You're bootiful! You're bootiful, it'z true!"_ He raised his hand a looked up at the ceiling. _"There mooset be an angel wif a smile on her face! When she thought up that I should be with you!"_ Taichi lowered his hand and grinned at me. I smiled back. Something must have clicked in his brain because he frowned and looked at the ground. Then with a more serious, sad tone, he finished, _"But it's time to face the twuf, I will never be with ju."_

The crowd clapped and cheered loudly for my tone-deaf friend. He kept his eyes to the floor for a while longer, then looked up and waved to the audience. There were a few people who gave him a standing ovation. I decided to give him one as well for fun. When he saw me stand, he immediately perked up and gave a couple of bows.

"Thankz guyz! You're wonderful!" he slurred. Taichi eyed me and grinned. "Now, how many of you guyz want to hear my bezt friend Yamato shing?"

* * *

_...Yeah, so I've never been drunk before...so if the actions are a little off, forgive me. :P The lyrics are included in this chapter if you didn't catch it._

_So...how many of you guys want to hear Yamato sing? ;)_

_Review please and let me know what you think! Flames are highly discouraged, but will be used to roast weenies._

_(No, but seriously though, what do you guys honestly think of this chapter?)_


	5. Amazed

_**NOTE:** Hi guyz! Here's another chapter for you all to satisfy your Taito craving for the weekend. Still has some "house-keeping chores" for starters, but then more Taito action toward the end! Mwa-ha-ha! ...it's late and I don't know what else to say. Enjoy! :D_

_**WARNINGS:** Language and slash. Slash? Yes. Don't like? Don't read._

_**DISCLAIMER:** Good grief! If I owned Digimon do you think Matt and Sora would have ended up together? Or Tai would have given Davis **HIS** goggles? No._

* * *

**CHAPTER 4. Amazed**

I quickly sat down in the booth again. Was he serious? He really wants me to sing to a bunch of drunk people who probably can't tell between a dying duck and a decent sounding voice? I covered my face and tried to disappear. Shino and Hayato tried to get me up, but I refused.

"Come on Yamato!" Taichi muffled into the microphone. The audience all turned to me and started chanting, "Ya-ma-to! Ya-ma-to! Ya-ma-to!" I sighed and finally stood up. The audience cheered as I numbly walked over to the stage.

"Yay! We got him up!" He handed me the microphone and put an arm around my shoulder. I could feel everyone staring at me and blushed. The red-haired man especially paid close attention. "Juz to let ju guyz know, Yamato iz a wonderful shinger. He even came up wit hiz own band." Shino and Hayato whooped and hollered. "Which iz lucky for him because he'z got a cute face!" Cute? Taichi used his free hand to hold my chin. I immediately pulled away. "I mean…one look at diz fashe and who wouldn't want to hear him shing?"

"I DON'T!" a random drunk man screamed out.

"SCREW YOU MR!" Taichi spat back angrily. I stood there in shock for a moment and just waited for the man to chuck something at the both of us. "Where iz da drunken baztard! I'm gonna—"

"Taichi," I interrupted. "It's ok. I'll sing anyways." Taichi looked at me for a moment, then glared at the area where the angry remark came from. He left me alone and sat down at the booth. I saw him take a swig of another shot. I'm surprised that he hasn't thrown up yet. I held up the microphone to my mouth. "Um…hi. So, like my friend said, my name is Yamato Ishida. And uh—"

"What are your shinging man?" A young teen shouted.

"Yeah! Who you dedicating it to?" A female shouted. I blinked a few times then looked at the karaoke machine to see what the next song was going to be. Fortunately, I was familiar with the song.

"It's um…a song called 'Amazed' by Lone Star. And…" I paused and looked over at Taichi. He just sat there watching me. I sighed. "I guess I'm dedicating this song to someone who's been really special to me." I heard a few girls swoon before the music started up.

_"Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take.  
Baby when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away.  
I've never been this close to anyone or anything  
I can hear your thoughts  
I can see your dreams._

"I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better.  
I want to spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever.  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you."

As I sang the first few verses of the song, my eyes would continually drift over to the booth. Shino had his cell phone out and swayed it from left to right as though we were in a rock concert. Hayato raised a glass of beer in my direction and took a long sip. Taichi simply sat there and smiled at me.

My stomach twisted and flipped uncomfortably by just looking at him. Why do I feel like this? I don't like it, it's weird It almost feels like when I liked him…but I don't. I'm pretty sure I don't. Are these just lingering feelings I've had for him? Or are they real? I shook my head and looked away from him before I messed up the final part of the song.

"_Every little thing that you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better.  
I want to spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you."_

Once I finished, the audience cheered loudly. Girls and women were screaming at the top of their lungs for me. I quickly bowed and went back to the booth, avoiding the female hands that were trying to touch me. Shino had his head on the table, Hayato was still clapping for me, and Taichi was no where to be seen.

"Where is Taichi?" I asked, looking around for him.

"Aw, you're worried about him," Hayato cooed. "How cute!"

"What?"

"Taichi made a bathroom run…if you know what I mean," Hayato sipped on his glass of beer.

"Oh…Well, I guess it took him long enough to get that drunk," I muttered. My eyes drifted to the nine shot glasses. "Nine shots…"

"Yeah. Dude, he's a warrior! I mean, Shino here just had four shots and now he's out like a light."

"How many did you have?"

"Probably…shix? Eh, can't remember."

"Why the hell did you let him drink nine shots? And how are we supposed to pay for all of these drinks?"

"Chill Yamy—"

"Don't call me that!"

"Ok, ok. Just relax dude. I've got it covered. The owner is a family friend so there is no need to freak out." I glared at him a moment longer, then sighed and sat down. We watched the next singer, who was doing a poor impersonation of Elvis Presley's, "Blue Swayed Shoes." "It's cute how worried you get over Taichi." I looked at him and he was looking at his beer. "He is a good guy and really fun you know. Just…take care of him." I gave him a curious look but he didn't see it because he took a drink of his beer.

"Let's go," I sighed. Hayato nodded and shook Shino awake. We made our way to the door. Hayato paused to talk to the manager of the bar. Shino rubbed his temples.

"Guys," Shino groaned. "My head hurts."

"We still have to wait up for Taichi," Hayato informed his friend.

"I can wait for him," I say to them. "I invited him after all. You guys go ahead and get sobered up."

"Daw, that's so cute Yamato!" Shino grinned. Hayato led his friend out the door before he could see my confused look. I sighed.

"Hey kid!" a male voice called out. I turned and saw that the red-headed man was coming up to me. I panicked slightly as the flash of red came rushing toward me. "Hey, Yamato…right?" I nodded. "You have a very nice voice."

"Oh…thank you sir," I muttered nervously. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Taichi come out of the bathroom. He sees me and staggers over to me. I relax a little once I feel him press himself against my right side.

"Who-oz dish guy?" Taichi asked curiously.

"Oh right. Where are my manners?" he laughed. "My name is Takahiro Nara. I am a judge for an up-coming band contest."

"That'sh nice," Taichi nodded his head.

"From what I've heard is that you've got a strong, clear voice. A very good quality to have in a band. I think that if you practice enough with your band, you may have a shot at winning the prize."

"What is the prize?" I asked him.

"A cash prize and the opportunity to have their song recorded and played on the radio."

"Wow! Are you serious? The radio?"

"Yes, and like I said, I think you may have a shot." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "The contest won't be until February or so, but here is a flier. It has all the information and the basic requirements." He smiled at both of us and then looked back. The blonde girl he had come with was waiting for him patiently. "Well, I hope that I will see you and your band there Yamato. You too kid." Takahiro shook our hands and excused himself to go with his girl. Taichi threw his arms around me into a tight hug. I tensed up and immediately felt sick.

"Way to be Yama!" he said. We stood like that for a while until the sick feeling started to disappear. I relaxed into the hug just as he pulled away. "That'sh sho great!" I simply nodded and we both exited the building. I grimaced at the weather.

We both stopped once we saw the weather. Dark clouds loomed over our heads and darkened the night sky. A light post was the only source of light in the gray world in front of us. The smell of wet pavement and earth mixed together with the sound of water drops falling to the ground. It was pouring rain. I turned to ask Taichi what we should do, but found that he was gone.

"_I'M SHI-I-INGING IN THE RAIN! JUST SHI-I-INGING IN THE RAIN!_" I looked out to the rain and saw him dancing around the street and street light and jumping in the puddles. "_WHAT A GLO-O-ORIOUSH FEELING!..._" He paused then shrugged. "_I DO-O-ON'T KNOW THE WORDS!_"

"Taichi!" I shouted over his "singing" of the instrumental part of the song. "Get back here! You're going to get sick!" The burnet goof-ball spotted me, ran over and dragged me out into the rain as well. "Hey! What are you doing? Let go!" He spun me around and held me from behind.

"You need to _rela-a-ax_ Yama," he murmured in my ear. He let me go and turned me around so I could see him. His wild hair was drooping now from the rain. His white shirt stuck close onto his body, outlining his muscles and nipples that were visible. I looked way from his chest and to his face.

Despite the cold rain pouring on us, his eyes were warm and inviting. It made me realize how cold I was starting to get and I shivered. He grinned at me and pulled me into a hug again. After a moment, I slowly lifted my own arms and wrapped them around his muscular torso. _He's so warm…_I thought to myself as I felt the heat from his body radiate on to my cold wet skin. Taichi had an interesting smell to him. He had a faint smell of some sort of spice on him, but it was hard to point out what it really was. He buried his face into my hair and sighed. I pulled away slightly so that we were still holding on to one another, but also looking at each other. Taichi smiled again then his face turned serious. He brushed the hair on my face to one side and left his hand on my cheek. I started to panic when he started to lean towards me.

"Come on," I muttered, stepping back from him. "Let's…let's go home." Taichi stared at me, smiled and slowly nodded.

**oXoXoXo**

We were sopping wet once we reached my apartment complex. The rain hadn't let up still and now there was a cool wind blowing. I shivered and Taichi immediately held me closer. Since Taichi was so drunk, he'd stumble and trip continually. To avoid any injuries, I had offered to help him get to my place, since it was closer. Part of me was grateful for his body's warmth, and part of me felt sick with awkwardness. I opened the door and we both entered the warm apartment. After removing our shoes, I lead my drunken friend to my room. He spots the bed, goes over and plops his wet body down on my sheets.

"Get off," I say to him. "You're gonna get it wet."

"Shrry," he slurred sitting up. He then yawned and stretched, allowing his muscles to be once again outlined from his wet shirt. "What time iz it?" I blushed and quickly looked at my alarm clock.

"Eleven fifty-seven," I reply.

"SHIZ!" He quickly jumped up, but then sat back down from the sudden head rush. He clasped his hand against his forehead and hissed in pain. Then, out of no where, he started to giggle. "Doode…my mom iz _rlly_ gonna kill me…"

"Huh?"

"'M late for cer-few…and 'M rlly, rlly…" He paused and had to think of the word.

"Drunk?" I offered.

"Yesh," His face then turned serious and almost…scared even. "You know…my dad waz a drunker…and it rlly hurt my mom…she'z rlly againzt drinking now dat my dad'z shober…" He stood up slowly and started heading to the door. Then he stopped. "She'z rlly gonna be mad…I mean…juzt remember the lash time with dad…"

I think he was mostly talking to himself, but it still had an impact on me. I had a bad feeling that he was going to get hurt if he left. He obviously sounded scared of what will happen to him when his mom found out. _I_ was scared myself of what would happen to him when his mom found out…That is…_if_ she finds out.

"Taichi," I said quietly.

"Thanksh Yama," he said, not hearing what I said and continuing his awkward journey to the bedroom door. "It waz rlly—" I hurried over to him and pulled him back into the room. He looked surprised.

"Stay here…for the night."

"…I-I can't. My mom—"

"I'll talk to her. Here, I can even give you some pajamas so you can change out of your wet stuff." I go over to my dresser and pull out some sweat pants and a larger shirt. I tossed it over to him. He tried to catch them, but since his reaction time is impaired by the alcohol, they fall to the floor.

"Yama," he protested while picking up the clothing. I pull out my own set of dry clothing and headed to the door.

"Get changed or you'll get sick." _I sound so motherly._

"Yamato," he said. I turn to look at him. "Why?" My mind went blank for a moment. I looked down at the floor and bit my bottom lip.

"Because," I finally said. "I…I've been in this situation before. You know, of…worrying about getting hurt. I know that if someone else knew about it then…I would have wanted them to help me out." I look back up at him. "I'll…I'll protect you Taichi."

"Yamato…" he whispered. I smiled, then walked out and shut the door behind me.

"Taichi is here then?" I jumped about a foot in the air and turned toward the door to see my dad taking off his shoes. "Shoes told me."

"Uh…yeah he is," I muttered slightly embarrassed of my reaction. "Would it be alright if he spends the night here?"

"That's fine with me," he said. "I'll be going to bed now. Good night son."

"Night Dad. And thank you." Once he went into his room, I made my way to the home phone to call Taichi's mother. The phone rang a few times before she answered.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded worried and a little frustrated.

"Hello Mrs. Yagami. It's Yamato."

"Oh Yamato. Is everything ok? Where is Taichi? He's not hurt is he?"

"No, he's ok."

"Where is he then? He hasn't come home yet and it's past his curfew!"

"He's at my place Mrs. Yagami and he's safe. But…I was wondering if…it would be alright if Taichi could spend the night with me here."

"What?"

"Well…it's just that, we got talking and that's why he hasn't gotten home yet. There is still a lot more that I want to ask him about and…Well, he doesn't know I'm calling you but, I just figured that if he stayed over, then it would give us a chance to reconnect a little…" There was silence on the other side. I shifted nervously, hoping she would allow him to stay.

"I'm upset that Taichi isn't the one asking me to stay," she said. "But…since you two are such good friends, I think it will be alright."

"Thank you so much Mrs. Yagami," I sighed with relief.

"Alright Yamato. Make sure Taichi behaves himself. Good night."

"I will. Good night." I hung up the phone and smiled to myself. I shouldn't be proud of becoming such a convincing liar. I did however help my friend from getting hurt tonight. I guess that is _one_ good thing I got out of being Peter's boyfriend.

After I changed into my pajamas in the bathroom, I go back to my room. Taichi is sitting on the edge of my bed, in the clothing I gave him, and he looked like he was thinking. I close the door, go to the bed and sit next to him.

"Your mom is letting you stay," I smiled at him, but he just sat there. "…Taichi?"

"I never loved her," he murmured. He continued before I could ask anything. "I mean…she waz a good friend and she waz there for me…but I never loved her.

"When you left…she waz there. She made it feel like the hole in my chest was filled again. I don't know why I asked Sora to be my girlfriend…because even though she filled the hole…I-I juzt loved her like a close friend…or even a sister.

"That'sh why…I broke up with her today. I shouldn't have led her on like that…but…I guess…I was just trying so hard to…" He buried his face in his hands. "Ugh. I should have known…"

"…known what Taichi?" I asked in a small voice.

"I'm in love with someone else," he sighed. "I should have known…then…I wouldn't have hurt her like that." We sat there in silence for a while. I was curious now to know who he had fallen in love with. Then again, for some reason I didn't really want to know. Curiosity got the better of me however.

"Taichi?" I said. His brown eyes turn to look at me. "Who is it? That…you are in love with?" Taichi looked at me a while longer, before turning away slightly and blushing. I'm pretty sure I blushed too. "Sorry. That was kind of personal huh? I shouldn't have—" I stopped talking once I felt his warm fingers slide in between my fingers. I have a shocked look on my face and he is still a little red, but calm.

"I'm…in love with you," he barely whispers. He lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed it. "I thought…it waz kind of obviouz. Especially shince you've been back. You've changed, _a lot. _Not just your looks, but your personality. And it just made me want to be with you even more. I'm not complete with out you Yama." He rested my hand against his right cheek. His face felt like it was burning compared to my colder hands. "Stupid izn't it? I've been in love wit the same person for three years and…I just can't seem to get over them."

"Taichi…" With his free hand, he reached up and touched my face. He stroked my cheek bone with his thumb. Then, he leaned forward and kissed me. At first, it was soft and peaceful, but then it grew to be more needy. He laid me on the bed and continued to kiss me. I closed my eyes and felt his lips brush against mine repeatedly. Finally, he broke the kiss. I waited a few seconds before opening my eyes to look at him. His eyes were shining again and he smiled warmly.

"I love you," he muttered. He kissed the tip of my nose, and then rested his head on my chest. I simply laid there on my back and started thinking.

I felt numb…and sick again. I couldn't believe what just happened. I was _so_ sure that he had gotten over me. How could I have not seen it? Am I really that stupid?

Is that why Taichi drank so much? Because of breaking up with Sora…or maybe because of me. He must have told Hayato and Shino. Maybe that's why they were acting so funny…

I wanted to run away. I felt so sick with him just…lying there so close to me. It was kind of awkward for me. He still had feelings for me and I didn't…did I?

No. No, of course not. Then again, if I really didn't feel anything for him then I don't think I would be feeling so uncomfortable.…and that kiss…

I heard Taichi breathing deeply, almost like he was snoring. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. I remembered how often I would imagine myself next to Taichi like this. He was so warm and soft. I remember missing the warmth once I left to the United States. Maybe...I _do_ still have feelings for him. Maybe there were there all along. Just maybe...

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_Yay for Taito! Please tell me what you think. Good? Bad? Flames will be used for a weenie roast._


	6. Love The Way You Lie

**_NOTE:_**_ ...debating whether to update this now or later...oh, what the hey._

_Now that I am actually 100% awake I can say what I need to say about this chapter. Yay! I guess I'll be nice and treat you wonderful readers and reviews to an early update...a _really_ early update. I started working on this chapter right after I posted the last chapter. I don't know how on earth I got it done so fast...maybe it's just because I'm awesome. :D jk._

_...ok, so there's not much more I can say about this particular chapter but in case anyone was wondering, this is a link to Tai's hippo shirt: http:/images01(dot)olx(dot)com(dot)ph/ui/1/82/80/9508280_1(dot)jpg and this is a link to Matt's shirt: http:/blogs(dot)thecutekid(dot)com/tinseltown-tots-and-designer-kids/files/2009/04/aeropostale-2950(dot)jpg These two shirts were mentioned _WAAAAAY_ back in chapter four...I just never gave a link to what I was talking about. (P.S. Change the (dot) to an actual period.)_

_Another thing, concerning Chapter 5, I kind of changed the ending but it's not a biggie. It's not so huge that you have to go back and read it because you still get the same point. Also, the song _Amazed_ was the first song that ever made me think of the Taito pairing. Yay!_

**_WARNING:_**_ Slash, slash, language, slash. Don't like? Don't read._

**_DISCLAIMER:_**_ If I owned Digimon...there would be no such pairing as Sorato in the end of the series! I also do not own any of these songs that I am using for these chapters._

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**CHAPTER 5. Love The Way You Lie**

"_I love you Yamato," Taichi whispered as he took my hand._

"_I love you too," I smiled at him._

"_What about me Yamy?" a voice hissed in my ear. I turned around and saw Peter standing right in front of me. "Don't you love me too?"_

"_Who is this guy?" Taichi asked. I opened my mouth and tried to say something…but nothing came out. Taichi pulled me away from Peter and then stepped between us. "Leave."_

_Peter smirked wickedly and murmured, "You have no idea of what I'm capable of." Out of his pocket, he pulled out a knife and sliced Taichi from his stomach up to his chest. I tried to scream but nothing came out of my mouth. I watched helplessly as Peter pushed a bloody Taichi to the floor. He turned his emerald green eyes to me. "Now…what did I say about him?"_

_A flash of red furry came charging toward me and pushed me to the ground. I cried in pain and fear as he stepped on my left arm. I tried begging for him to let me go and get off, but my voice was gone. He stepped down harder as he lowered his face to me and he grabbed my shirt collar. Peter looked as though he wanted more blood._

"_Do you really think you love him Yamato?" he snarled at me. He slammed my head against the ground. "Do you Yamato? DO YOU?"_

"NO!" I sat up quickly from my bed and started rubbing my sore left arm. My eyes searched the room for either a dead Taichi or an angry Peter. It took me a moment to realize that I was in my room in Japan. _It was just a dream._

"Damn Yamato, did you have to be so loud?" I looked over to my left and saw that Taichi was rubbing his head. "I mean, I'm sorry that I sat on your arm but damn, that was a loud scream."

"Taichi…" I whispered. I quickly turned away from him and covered myself with the blankets again. I stared at the wall of my bed room. It may have been a dream…but it felt so real. Taichi's face in the dream…and Peter's. I covered my face with the blanket and let a few tears slip out. I felt him sit on the bed and place a cold hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off. "You're cold."

"Freezing is more like it," he grumbled. "And I've got really bad head ache, and I've been puking every hour for the past five hours…" I turned my head to him and saw that his face looked both angry and miserable.

"You must be having a hang over," I smile slightly to myself.

"No shit Sherlock," he growled, then hit an extra pillow over my head. I sat up and pushed him away.

"Don't!" I shout at him. He cringes at the tone of my voice.

"Ow! Not so loud!" he growled again. "I told you, my head hurts. It's like someone split it in half."

"Sorry," I said quietly. Taichi sighed miserably and then laid down on the left side of the bed. I whipped my eyes and also laid down again. We stayed like that for a while. Just us two staring at the ceiling.

"What happened last night?" Taichi muttered. I looked at him.

"You don't remember?" I asked.

"Nope…Nothing. Just that we went to go see your practice place and that I was drinking…a lot." I growled in annoyance. _He doesn't remember anything…not even tell me how he felt about me._ "You gonna tell me what happened or am I not allowed to know?" I rolled my eyes at his rudeness, but forgave him since he was my friend…and he was having his first hangover.

"Nothing much happened," I replied. "You sang karaoke and you got me to sing as well. A guy came up to us and said that my band had a shot at winning some band contest. It was pouring rain and you decided to go out there and dance in it. And also you were going to go home, but I convinced you and your mom to stay for the night. That is why you are here now."

"Ah," he simply said. There was silence again. "Maybe that's why I feel like shit. The rain dancing I mean." I chuckled. Then I realized I forgot to mention a very important thing to him.

"And…you also said that…" I trailed off. He looked at me.

"What?" he asked. I didn't say anything though. He shook me slightly with his cold hand again. "Come on Yamato! Spit it out!" I sighed and looked at him.

"You told me what happened between you and Sora," I said. "You also told me that…you loved me." Taichi's eyes widened with shock and his face turned red.

"I…I-I did?" he asked. I nodded and sat up.

"Yeah. Well, anyways, I'm going to go get you some stuff to help cure your hangover now. You can either stay here and sleep, or take a shower."

"Yamato…"

"If you do decide to take a shower, make sure you switch between hot and cold water." I left the room and headed to the kitchen. I didn't really want to talk about him loving me, especially if he couldn't remember it. My dad was sitting at the table reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. "Morning Dad."

"Good afternoon son," he replied. I blinked at him a few times. "It's past noon. You've slept in."

"Shit," I growled and opened the refrigerator. I pulled out the orange juice container and some pickles then closed the refrigerator. I saw Taichi make his way to the bathroom with the clothing he had on yesterday in his arms.

"So, Taichi was drunk last night," my dad stated.

"How did you know?" I asked, smelling each object to make sure they weren't expired.

"I was going to go into the bathroom to get ready for the day and he was throwing up. He told me that he was feeling really sick and that he'd been throwing up for a while. I gave him a few glasses of water to help him clear out his throat and help with the hangover. I wish you would have told me son."

"I'm sorry Dad…I didn't want him to get in trouble."

"Did you have a few drinks?"

"No! _Never!_"

"Just asking…did Taichi say anything interesting last night?"

"…I guess…why?"

"Someone once told me, _'A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.'_ Just…wanted to share that wisdom with you." He grinned at me and finished off his coffee. "Well, I'm off to work now. I'll try to be home as soon as I can son." My dad went to his room to gather his work supplies as I poured the orange juice into a cup. When he came out, Taichi was coming out of the bathroom, drying off his hair. My dad ruffled Taichi's damp hair playfully. "Hope you feel better soon Taichi." Brown eyes glared at the older man as he simply turned and walked out the door. Taichi patted down his hair and sat down at the table.

"I don't like people touching my hair," he muttered as I placed the cup and pickles in front of him. I chuckled at his grumpy expression which then turned to confusion. "What's this stuff for?"

"It will help you with your hangover."

"Like the stupid shower thing? Dude, you have like no hot water! I was freezing in there!" He was about to touch my hand to prove his point, but then must have remembered that he told me that he liked me and stopped. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand.

"You're right," I said. "You are freezing." I checked his forehead. "And yet…you're burning up…Taichi, I think you're sick."

"Really? It's not a symptom of a hangover or anything?"

"No…not that I know of. I told warned you about getting sick last night, but you wouldn't listen."

"Not like I remember it," he scowled to himself. Taichi took a sip of orange juice. "Yamato…you know how I told you…how I felt about you?"

"Yeah," I said. He kept his eyes glued to the cup of juice.

"Well…I was just…wondering," he continued slowly. "If…you felt the same way back." I blinked at him a few times. He turned away slightly, but squeezed my hand. "I'm just wondering…Yamato, do you—" My cell phone rang from my bedroom. Taichi used his free hand to grasp his head. "Ugh! Stupid phone wouldn't stop ringing and I couldn't find it to shut it off!" I slid my hand out of his and went to go answer it.

"Drink the juice and eat some of the pickles. Then maybe I can actually feed you something." I didn't hear him say anything as I entered the room. The phone continued to ring and I quickly found it in my pants pocket. The caller ID was the same as last night, _Unknown._ I answered the phone anyways. "Hello?"

"Yamato?" My heart sank. "Is that you?"

"W-who is this?" I asked in a small voice. I already knew who it was though.

"It's me…Peter," he said. I slid down to the floor as he sighed. "I can't believe I finally found you again."

"How did you get this number?" my voice was shaky.

"I…it doesn't matter…how are you doing?" Dark memories that had been hidden away now flashed back in my mind. The sick feeling I had was ten times worse than the feeling I would get from Taichi. "Yamato? Did you hear me?"

"Y-yes. I did."

"What's wrong? Are you crying?" I touched my cheek and found that I was indeed crying. "You're not still thinking about that one night…are you?" I didn't answer. "I'm sorry…you know I am right? I didn't mean any of that. I'm getting help now you know." A soft sob escaped from my throat. "Yamy, please don't cry…Geez, you don't know how long I've been wanting to talk to you...to hear your voice again."

"Peter?" I finally said.

"Yes?"

"…leave me alone." There was a slight pause. I worried that he probably didn't hear me, since I was so quiet.

"W-what? What are you talking about?"

"I don't want anything to do with you. So please…just…"

"Yamy, don't you remember what we've been through together?"

"How could I forget?" I laughed and pulled my knees close to my body. "All the times you'd lie to me, and hit me, and threaten me. And then that one night…where you said that there never was going to be a 'next time' and that if I ever tried to leave again that…t-that you'd kill me—"

"I didn't mean it though! I was drunk! You know I was and you know I say things I don't mean when I'm drunk!"

"…A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts…"

"What?"

"Please…just—"

"Yamato, I'm sorry! Ok? I'm sorry that I've hurt you. I still love you. A lot. And even though we've had some rough times, you're still my boyfriend and I'm still yours."

"No. No you're not."

"Of course I am. We never officially—"

"You're not my boyfriend."

"…Are you breaking up with me then?" I didn't say anything. "Are you?" I shivered at his angry tone. Even over the phone, Peter still terrified me. "…Who is it?"

"What?"

"You're breaking up with me because you're with someone else now right? So who is—"

"Yamato!" Taichi called.

"Who is that?" Peter growled. "Is that him?"

"Yamato, where is your—" My head snapped up to look at Taichi who was standing in the doorway. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Taichi," I whispered.

"What?" Peter scoffed. "_Taichi?_ You're with that little bastard?Yamato, how could you be so stupid? Don't you remember all the shit he did to you? He abandoned you and left you for that other girl! He made you cry! He wasn't there when you needed someone now was he? But I guess you don't seem to remember _that_ do you?" I buried my face into my knees and continued to cry. "Do you?" Another sob escaped my mouth. "YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU STAY WITH HIM YAMATO? _WELL, DO YOU YAMATO?_"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I wailed into the phone before hanging up. I tossed the phone across the room and cried even harder as I buried my face into my knees.

This is bad…How did he get my number? My dad didn't give it to me until _after_ I got back. Did he get a hold of my dad? I was so sure that I wouldn't have to face him again…but now he knows my number.

"Yamato?" I had completely forgotten that Taichi had been in the room. I could sense that he was crouching next to me. "Who was that?" He placed his cold hand on my shoulder and I pulled away.

"Don't," I whimpered. He pulled his hand away.

"Are you ok?" he asked hesitantly. I didn't answer, but tried to calm myself down. I heard him sigh and he sat down right next to me. I scooted away from him. After a moment, I lifted my head from my knees and stared at the phone I had thrown. "Seems like we're repeating history huh? Me, just waiting to know your answer on how you feel that is." I turned my face away from him. "…Yamato?"

"You really think I'm going to feel the same way about you?" I hissed at him. "After you hurt me like that? Running off with Sora and not giving a damn about me afterward? I don't know about you, but that sure as hell wouldn't turn me on!" Silence.

"Ok…so…you don't like me then," he muttered with hurt in his voice. I flinched.

"…no…I didn't mean it like that…"

"Well, which is it then? Do you or don't you?"

"…I don't know," I admitted. "I don't know…"

"Do you think you'll ever know for sure?"

"Maybe…but that would require some patience. And I know for a fact that you, Taichi Yagami, don't have a good patience level." I prepared myself for some sort of argument against that comment. Instead, it was silent.

"I can do that," he said. I looked at him. He was staring at me, his eyes shone with honesty. "I can prove to you that I do have patience by waiting for you to decide. I don't know what happened to you during that year away from here…but whatever happened, I hope that you can heal from it. Just remember…I'll always be here for you." I stared at him for a while then looked back at the phone.

"Taichi, do you mind if I were alone…now?" I asked. He nodded then stood.

"I'll show myself out. Thank you so much for everything, Yama." He smiled comfortingly, and then left my room. Once I heard the apartment door I stood and was about to call Masaru to hold a band practice, but I found myself to scared to go near the phone again. Instead I decided to have the practice tomorrow and crawled into my bed once again.

I guess I was wrong about Taichi. He is willing to prove to me that he can wait. I'm not sure how long that will take however…especially since Peter has found me once again. I know Peter…He's lost so much during his life that he's not going to be willing to let me go. Not so quickly or easily anyways.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I have to let this stupid thing haunt me still. Every time I think the memories are going away, something brings them back more vividly than ever. Just like last night…when I thought I was starting to like Taichi again. But then I had that dream and Peter called. Now…I feel scared, once again, to love anyone besides my boyfriend…My _ex-_boyfriend. I wish I could feel something for Taichi…I really do. Maybe that would help me to stop being so scared of Peter…maybe it would even help with the pain.

I heard the phone ring again and I covered my head with the blankets. It was an old habit I had. Whenever Peter would be looking for me and I didn't want to deal with him, I would hide under the covers. Cowardly, I know. But for a while, it saved me from his anger…that is, until he caught on to what I was doing. Then he'd just pull me out of bed and I would have to face him.

The phone stopped ringing, but I still hid under the covers. I started crying silently as I touched the scar over my left eye. Thinking about Peter and our past memories together hurt. I know that he loved me and he was trying to protect me…but he took it too far. Especially "that night." Peter was right about one thing…I was stupid if I did go back with Taichi. He hurt me too and I can't just forget about that. I know it's not _completely_ Taichi's fault and he didn't hurt me as bad as Peter did…but he didn't really help the pain either.

I don't see why the hell Taichi would still love me…I'm nothing but a wussy, cry-baby. If he saw me like this then he'd for sure stop loving me. Maybe I should do that so that we don't hurt each other…but then again…I don't think I _want_ him to leave me…I feel so confused and frustrated.

After crying for some time, I started to fall in and out of consciousness. Both the apartment phone and my cell phone rang again and again, but I didn't do anything about it. I felt numb. Every emotion in me seemed dead and almost like I couldn't feel anything at all; except maybe fear and pain…and exhaustion. I sighed and decided to give in and try to fall asleep once again. I wished things could be different between Taichi and I…but right now, I couldn't feel anything. I can't allow myself to feel anything. Not unless I'm ready…and I'm not.

**-X-X-X-X-**

_Just gonna stand there_  
_And watch me burn_  
_But that's alright_  
_Because I like_  
_The way it hurts_  
_Just gonna stand there_  
_And hear me cry_  
_But that's alright_  
_Because I love_  
_The way you lie_  
_I love the way you lie_  
_I love the way you lie_

_-Love The Way You Lie, Eminem (feat. Rihanna)_

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_Fun fact!: This song is what inspired this story to be a story about date abuse...you can all thank Eminem for the inspiration if you like the idea. :P Well, I hope you will all take the time to let me know what you think of this chaptes. No flames please!_


	7. Fix You

_**NOTE:**__ HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY! :D :D :D Dang, I kind of wish I would have had time to make a Halloween fanfic...but I didn't have time. :( Well...maybe I could whip something up and post it up anyways...I kind of have an idea...In the mean time, and to make up for it, I'll just post up another "Patience" chapter. I will be sure to write a Christmas fanfic though..._

_This took me all week to write up because I have been very busy. :P Actually, I wrote up "hallway/memory" scene a long time ago. Like, while I was still writing up "Reaching for the Moon..." I hope you enjoy this chapter and, IDK, do you guys like the long chapters? Or are you guys like, "oh noez! a long chapter!"_

_**WARNINGS:**__ Language and slash. Slash. Slash. Slash. If you don't like slash, leave and let me enjoy it with a twist of lime!_

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ Oh, you would know if I owned Digimon...you would know..._

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**CHAPTER 6. Fix You**

"You should ask Sora out on a date." I looked up from the hallway floor to Mimi, who was the one who suggested that. It was the Wednesday after the whole drunk and phone call thing happened. Since then, I had not talked to Taichi. I worried that I had probably done something wrong, or Taichi thought about it and really didn't want to waste his time on me. I asked Koushiro about Taichi's odd behavior, and he simply said that Taichi was really busy and hasn't had time to have fun. I wasn't completely convinced though. Something was up with him…I just needed to figure out what.

"Why would I do that?" I asked sounding a little irritated since she had broken my train of thought. "She was Taichi's girlfriend."

"Well, they are ex's now, and I'm sure it will brighten up her mood a bit. Jyou and I can double with you two if that would make you feel more comfortable. Besides Yamato, you need to go out and meet new people. Go out and have some fun with some girls! …Unless…you still like a certain someone." She motioned behind me and I looked. Taichi was walking down the hall towards us. Mimi waved once he came closer to us, but he walked past us as though he didn't know us.

"I don't know if I like him or not," I sighed. "Especially not now. He hasn't talked to me since Saturday…"

"I don't think that guy has talked to anyone this whole week." Mimi and I both turned and saw Anneke standing a couple of feet away from us. She came closer and smiled at me.

"Anneke? I didn't know you came to this school!" I stammered.

"I'm a year older than you, so that's probably why we've never seen each other until now," she shrugged. "Dude, I didn't know you were gay. Does the band know?"

"No…and I'm not gay," I muttered to her.

"Ah, that sounded _really_ convincing," she replied. I was about to say something in my defense, when a girl with curly brown hair tripped in front of me and dropped all of her school supplies.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she apologized as she bent down to pick up her things. I also bent down to help her. "I'm such a klutz sometimes." I helped her up and handed her things back. She blushed. "Thank you…My name is Kaiya."

"Yamato," I said.

"Nice name. Hey, I was wondering…are you busy this weekend? Maybe—"

"Uh…sorry but…I've got a date this Friday." I glanced at Mimi, who grinned and nodded. I also looked over at Anneke, who was merely smiling. Kaiya looked crushed.

"Ok…I understand," she said softly. "It was nice meeting you." She continued on her way. I sighed. _That was the fifth girl to ask me out this week so far._

"I wonder what the band will think about all of this," Anneke said and walked off to class. My face flushed as the bell rang.

"I'm sorry Yamato," Mimi apologized.

"…It's ok. So, what time is the date gonna be?"

**oXoXoXoXo**

Taichi was pissed at something. Or someone. During our math class, we had a pop quiz of the lesson we had last time. I'd sneak a few glances at him and I'd see that he would just simply stare at the paper and _occasionally_ write something down. At the end of the quiz, the teacher went around and picked up our papers. He stopped when he picked up Taichi's quiz.

"I don't think, 'A miracle happens' is a valid answer for this quiz, Mr. Yagami," The teacher said. A few of our classmates giggled as Taichi muttered something. "What? Speak up, Yagami!"

"I'm sorry! I couldn't remember anything," He said again louder. I stared at him and the classroom filled with laughter. Taichi's voice sounded higher pitched, sore and a little stuffy. It actually didn't sound like him at _all._ He blushed and slumped down in his seat as the teacher gave him a surprised look.

"Are you sick?" he asked.

"Well no _duh_ I'm sick!" Taichi glared. "I got a cold from the stupid rain we had over the weekend."

"I won't have any attitude in my class Mr. Yagami!" the teacher shot back. "Either you shape up, or leave the classroom."

"…I'm sorry, sir…" The teacher stared him down for a moment longer and then continued on his way. I looked over at Taichi again and saw his face. He looked as though he was about to cry and quickly lowered his head. It all started to become clear to me.

Taichi was hurting…I don't know what the cause of his pain was, but it was destroying him. It wasn't like him to talk back to a teacher, or ignore his friends, or look like he was about to cry. Something was wrong. I wanted to know what was hurting my friend so badly. He was totally different and I didn't like it…

_It's like he's broken,_ I thought to myself as I watched him burry his head in his arms. _Poor guy…_At that moment, I desperately wanted to fix him…

**oXoXoXo**

"Taichi!" I called after him. "Wait up!" It was now after school and I had decided to confront Taichi with his new attitude. This proved to be more difficult than I had imagined however.

"Go away," he growled at me, pushing his way in between two sophomores. I jogged after him and stopped him by grabbing his shoulder. He turned to glare at me. "What?"

"Taichi, something is up with you," I said to him. "You're acting really different around everyone."

"I'm acting the same as I always do," Taichi coughed and tried to leave again. I grabbed his arm and stopped him again.

"No. You're not. Come on Taichi, I'm your friend."

"Oh, so _now_ we are friends?"

"Taichi, please. I'm only trying to help you."

"I don't need any help Yamato, so bug off!"

"I don't believe you."

"Gee, thanks for trusting in me." Taichi started to walk off down the hall, which was now almost empty. I followed close behind him.

"Did I do something?" I asked nervously. That was still a possibility for why he's been so upset; because I don't know if I like him.

"Leave me alone," he growled again. Ok. So maybe it's not all me. I ran through a list of things in my mind that might be bothering him.

"Is your family ok?" I asked. He didn't answer. "Did anything happen to Hika—"

"DAMMIT YAMATO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Taichi whipped around, furry painted on his face, and pushed me away, hard. At that point, my mind and body went into autopilot. Once I hit the floor, I covered my head and face with my arms and my body tightened up into a ball.

_I'm sorry!_ I cried in my head. _I'm sorry! Please don't hit me! Please don't hit me! _I braced myself for the possible punch that would follow. Nothing happened for a while. I flinched once I felt his hand finally touch my shoulder. He drew back for a moment but then placed it again on my shoulder. I looked up at him and he looked worried.

"I wasn't…" he whispered. He slid his hand down from my shoulder to my hand and helped me up. "…I wasn't going to hurt you." I fixed my shirt and hair, then folded my arms across my chest. I closed my eyes as the memories of the last time I heard those exact words come out of someone else's mouth replayed in my head.

-O-O-O-O-

"_I wasn't going to hurt you," Peter said, handing me an ice pack. I held it gently against my throbbing eye. We sat in silence for a moment._

"_But…why can't I talk about Tai—him anymore?" I whispered. He stared at me with his cold green eyes and it made me sink into the sofa a little deeper. Peter grabbed my free hand and held it. I tensed up, unsure and frightened of what he'll do next._

"_Because," he said, raising my hand to kiss my wrist. "I love you and I don't like feeling like you care more about him than me." I didn't reply and allowed him to place kisses up my arm._

"_He's not that bad," I muttered. Peter stopped and looked up at me. "He's a really nice guy. Sure, he's been immature, but he's good…I just wish he'd write—" Peter's grip tightened terribly around my wrist and I let out a gasp of pain. I dropped the ice pack and tried to pry off his hand. He didn't budge, just stared at me with cold eyes. My hand started to go numb. "Peter, please! I'm sorry!"_

"…_Like I said," Peter muttered while slightly loosening his grip. "I don't want to hear about that little bastard. Got it?" I let out a small whimper when he tightened his hand again, and I nodded. He sighed and loosened his grip once again. Peter gently started rubbing my hurting writs. "I wasn't going to hurt you…" He looked up at me. "But sometimes, it's the only way to get you to shut up." Peter leaned forward and kissed my bruised eye._

-O-O-O-O-

"Yamato?" I opened my eyes. Taichi was standing inches away from me and he looked concerned. "I said I was sorry." He reached up to touch me, but I quickly withdrew from him.

"Whatever," I murmured and walked away from him. I felt kind of bad afterwards, for treating Taichi rudely sometimes…but I guess it's easier to oppose to him than it was to Peter, so I do it more often. Besides, if he wants to be so damn moody, then he can do it on his own.

**oXoXoXoXo**

"Anneke, you're going too sharp on that A," I sighed irritably. She glared at me and then purposely strummed a sharp A on her guitar. "Stop that!"

"Yamato, Anneke, clam down!" Shino called from his electric piano. "Geez, you guys have been at it all throughout practice! How are we supposed to beat the other bands in the competition if we can't even get along?"

"Anneke is the one with the attitude!" I growled.

"What are you talking about!" Anneke remarked. "_You're_ the one with the attitude! Barging in here and being so damn nit-picky about the music!"

"I'm just trying to make us sound good. And it's not that hard to read the music right, Anneke!"

"Well then, why don't you play it how it should sound like?" She took off the guitar strap and handed it to me. I simply stared at the guitar. I had not played the guitar since I had left Japan and when I _did_ get the chance to play a little in the United States, certain people said I sucked. Ever since then, I had avoided playing the guitar. "Well, Mr. Hot-Shot?"

"Anneke," her cousin groaned. I looked at the rest of the band.

"We'll pick it up tomorrow," I said. I turned and walked off.

"Hmph. Moody, hormonal boy," I heard Anneke mutter to herself before I exited out the door. I growled to myself and went to the first place that came to my mind: the soccer stadium. I don't know what made me want to go there, but it wasn't like I had anywhere else better to be at the time. It was also better than having to deal with Anneke's attitude. Once I reached the stadium, I sat down on the bleachers and rested my chin on my hands.

_Why does Anneke have to treat me like that? I thought to myself. I know she says that we were, "destined to not like each other," but she could at least try to be nice. Or at least pretend to like me. Then again…she might be doing it because of what she overhear Mimi and I talk about…Maybe I should be more careful when talking about Taichi with anyone. Especially Mimi…_

"Pick-up the pace, Yagami!" a gruff voice shouted. I turned my attention to the voice. He was standing at the edge of the field and another person was running around the perimeter of the field. I smiled slightly as I watched Taichi make a sharp left turn towards, I assume, his coach. "Three miles Yagami! Three miles!" _Three miles?_

I stood and went towards the field. I leaned against the chain fence, separating the field from the bleachers, and watched as Taichi ran towards us. He was panting heavily and his body dripped with sweat. Despite the frustration and exhaustion on his face, he still had that broken look in his eyes that I had seen earlier that day. My heart lurched forward as he ran past us and stumbled a little.

"Coach?" I called. The soccer coach turned to look at me.

"What is it boy?" he answered back.

"How long has he been running?" I asked. He looked down at his clip board, seeming uninterested in my question.

"After this lap, it will be three miles."

"Why is he running so much?"

"Un-sportsmen like conduct. He got in a fight with a fellow team mate and since he is the team captain, he is going to have to deal with the consequence." I didn't know that Taichi had become the team captain for soccer. From the other side of the field, I saw Taichi stumble again and my heart gave the same reaction it did earlier. "Half a lap Yagami, let's go!" I feared that Taichi was about to collapse.

"Sir, don't you think that this is a little harsh?" I asked in a slightly panicked tone. The coach looked at me rather surprised that I questioned his coaching methods.

"_Excuse_ me?" he challenged. I shrank a little.

"I'm sorry, sir," I muttered apologetically. The coach stared at me as I hesitantly went back to the first row of bleachers. Once I sat down, the coach turned his attention back to my exhausted friend. Taichi ran past us once again. The coach blew his whistle and walked over to where Taichi was keeled over, panting and coughing like crazy. I saw the coach muttering something to him. Taichi looked up at my direction and nodded to the coach. The coach thumped Taichi's back a couple of times, causing him to cough some more, and walked towards me again. I scooted farther away from him as he picked up his bag, tipped his hat to me and walked off. Taichi also came toward me, but simply started to pack up his soccer things. I watched him, and then I nervously walked over to him.

"Apparently, I have a really good friend," Taichi said while he sat down and pulled off his soccer shoes and socks. "Too bad he doesn't mind his own _damn_ business when I ask him to."

"Please, Taichi, enough with the tough boy act," I muttered. He glanced over his shoulder at me, and slipped on his own shoes. "What is wrong? You've been acting really different and…I don't like it."

"Don't worry about it Yamato," he zipped up his bag and stood to leave. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does matter."

"Why? You don't even like me."

"Taichi, please don't say that." Taichi perked up a little.

"So do you?" I lowered my head.

"I…don't know…" I said quietly. Taichi growled and started walking off. I looked back up at him. "Taichi." He stopped. "…Please…" We stood there for a few minutes. Finally, he slowly turned to face me and I cringed in the inside. Taichi, the strongest person I knew, looked like at any moment he was about to break.

"It's…Hikari," he said slowly. Tears were brimming from his eyes. "She's…" He quickly turned away so that I wouldn't see the tear that slipped out. I shifted a little nervously.

"What's wrong with her? Is she ok?" I asked.

"Why would you care?" he muttered darkly. He switched back to the angry routine. "Why would you care about anything with me? You don't like me, so you shouldn't worry about this."

"Huh? Of course I should worry. Hikari was part of the digidestined team and she is really important to you. I can help you Taichi, if you just—"

"This is _my_ burden! Not yours!" He snapped at me. I took a step back. Frustration was starting to spark inside of me.

"Taichi, I don't care! I'm not going to stand by and watch you be all pissy at everyone _just_ because they want to help you. And if it has to do with Hikari, then it gives us the more reason to want to reach out to you."

"Shut up Yamato!"

"_No!_ I won't shut up! You can't handle everything by yourself! You have to understand that Taichi. You know, that is something that has always drove me insane about you; you never know when a task is too big for just you to handle. Look Taichi, I'm here. I'm here for you no matter what because I really care about you."

"Would you just _SHUT UP?_" Taichi shouted at me. He lunged forward, ready to punch me in the face. I lifted my arms in defense, but instead of blocking a full swung punch, I caught Taichi. He was sobbing miserably and I became really confused. I lowered us to the ground and he clung on to me even harder.

"Tai…chi…" I whispered. That was all I could manage to say at that point. The strong headed leader of the digidestineds, was now crying uncontrollably in my arms. Something was definitely wrong and it terrified me. I hugged him back tighter and rubbed his back. "Taichi."

"H-Hikari's i-in the hospital!" he sniffled. "On S-Saturday, when I g-got home…"

"Taichi, its ok," I hushed him and he buried his face into my neck. "Just…relax a little…" My heart ached as I heard him whimper and felt warm tears fall down on to my neck and shirt. Finally, Taichi started to calm down. He pulled away from me, but I still held on to his side. Misery and pain were fully exposed in his eyes and seemed to beg for someone to take away the grief.

"On Saturday…when I got home," he started over. "I was still hung over, you know? S-so, I wasn't feeling too good and…for some reason everything w-was pissing me off. Hikari came in and…" He turned his eyes to the ground and seemed to be trying to control himself so that he wouldn't start crying again. "She…she told me she wasn't feeling too good. T-that…her stomach hurt really badly." I saw him clench his fists. "I…I-I don't know what came over me but…I told her to…t-to suck it up." His knuckles started to lose its color, and so I gently touched his hand. He loosened his grip and I slipped my fingers into his hand. "After that…she didn't say anything. Not even to our parents. But then…Sunday night, during dinner, she didn't want to eat. Mom made her have something but…she immediately went to the bathroom and threw up afterwards. She was crying and finally told Mom about her stomach pain. We took her to the hospital after that and…and we found out that she had appendicitis.

"Hikari had appendicitis for a long time, we just didn't know. If we had waited a few more days…" He squeezed my hand to match the frustration he was feeling. "Mom and Dad found out that she had told me something and Mom went hysterical. She screamed at me for not saying anything and…I felt horrible. I really wanted to see her but…because I was out in the rain, I got sick. The hospital people didn't want me to endanger the other patience and so Dad just…just sent me home and I haven't been back there since. T-they wouldn't let me see her Yamato! I haven't seen her since that Sunday night! I didn't want to see her like that! She was crying with pain and throwing up and…it's all my fault!" Tears started to fall down his face again. I rubbed his hand with my thumb.

"Taichi…it's not your fault," I said to him. He turned his head away slightly, not wanting to listen. With my other hand, I touched his face. Taichi slowly looked at me. "It's not your fault…Hangovers can do crazy things to your emotions and body."

"S-she could have died…" he whimpered. He leaned forward and rested his head on my shoulder. "Because of m-me. I told her—"

"No. Not because of you. You didn't know she was sick. No body did. And if you're mother really is going to blame you for all of this then…its not fair. You're not to blame…" I heard Taichi let out a small sniffle. "Taichi…please don't cry anymore…it…it hurts me to see you like this…" I let go of his hand, wrapped my arms around him again, and hugged him tightly. Part of me wished that just by holding him like this, it would make his pain and guilt go away. But life never was that easy.

I heard a buzz and ring tone come from Taichi's bag. My burnet friend immediately pulled away and rushed over to the bag. He opened it and pulled out a small phone.

"Hi Mom," he answered. "What's up?" He listened to the other line and started to wipe away the remaining tears. "Mom, I'm sorry. I know. I know, I had to be home but—what?...Oh…ok…Mom! I get it and I'm sorry!...I'm sorry…I'll be home soon. Bye." He hung up and placed the phone back into the bag. "I have to go Yamato."

"Taichi," I stood and walked over to him.

"I have to go!" he said miserably. He picked up his bag and broke off into a run. I watched him disappear behind the bleachers and found myself alone.

I didn't know what to do. My friend was blaming himself for something he had no control over and it was destroying him in the inside. I felt like if there was any way I could get him to stop hurting, I would do it. But…there _was_ nothing…

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to see the caller ID. _Unknown._ I almost dropped the phone in panic, but then dismissed the call. Peter had been trying to call and talk to me again, but I would never answer the phone to him again. I placed my phone back into my pocket and looked back at the direction where Taichi ran off.

"…funny," I said to myself. "Some of the things I was telling him…I should actually be saying to myself." I sighed and then made my way back to my apartment, thinking of ways to try and help the both of us.

**-X-X-X-X-**

_And the tears come streaming down your face_  
_When you lose something you can't replace_  
_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_  
_Could it be worse?_

_And high up above or down below_  
_When you're too in love to let it go_  
_But if you never try you'll never know_  
_Just what you're worth_

_Lights will guide you home_  
_And ignite your bones_  
_And I will try to fix you_

_-Fix You, Coldplay_

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_Ta-da! Please let me know what you think of this chapter, and yes, it is a bit a doozy to read...Read and review please! No flames or else I will have no choice but to roast weenies._

_Wow...I just realized I totally "skipped" chapter five...see the thing is, because I added a prologue then that is chapter one on ...well, I got confused and called "Love the Way You Lie" chapter six instead of five...I fixed it now. -_-:_

_HAPPY HALLOWEEN!_


	8. My Wish

**_NOTE:_**_ Here is the REAL chapter seven for this story. Sorry for the confusion. :P Hmm...a little about this chapter I suppose...I almost concider it a pointless chapter...almost. You'll hopefully see why later. Something I forgot to mention in the other chapter is that if you want to know what "sick Tai" sounds like, just go look up Digimon Movie 4 (You know, the one where they TOTALLY get a different voice actor for Tai, and make the original digidestineds (INCLUDING OMNIMON!) total wusses just so the second season kids get their time to shine in the movie). Grr...that movie creates anger in my soul...or just season two in general...anyways...enough babbling. Here is the next chapter for this fanfic! Enjoy!_

_**WARNING:** Language and slash. Yep. Slash. :D_

**_DISCLAIMER:_**_ If I owned Digimon...Omnimon would stick kick ass in the fourth movie! Grr..._

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**CHAPTER 7. My Wish**

Sora and I had our date the Friday after Taichi told me what was going on with him. Mimi and Jyou were planning to come along as well, but it ended up being that Jyou had a college preparation class that night and Mimi's mother had surprised her to a shopping spree. We were on our own for the date, but it wasn't too bad. I took her to a movie and then dinner. Now, I was walking her to her apartment.

"This was a really fun night Yamato," she smiled at me. I nodded and stopped at her door. My mind was slightly busy with thinking about Taichi and trying to come up with a way to get him out of the guilt he was feeling. "I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"Yeah, no problem," I mutter as I looked to the floor. "It was great to be able to catch up and all." We stood in silence.

"Yamato?" Sora said quietly. I looked back up at her. She lifted her hand to touch my face. I drew back a little but she kept her hand steady. Sora gently stroked my cheek bone with her thumb. I started to feel a little nervous.

"Sora?" I muttered. Sora then pulled me forward and kissed me. I tensed up when she pressed her gentle lips against mine. After a few seconds, which felt almost like an eternity to me, Sora pulled away from me. We stared at each other.

"Sorry," she blushed. I nodded numbly. "I just…wanted to see if…there was anything." I nodded again, and then tried to come up with something to say. It took me a moment or two to finally think of something.

"Did you feel anything?" I asked. Brilliant, I know. She shook her head, then gave me a look that seemed to ask if I had felt something. I shook my head.

"I'm really sorry Yamato," she sighed. "I don't know what came over me. I guess…I was curious to see if…kissing you was like anything I had imagined." We stood in a slightly awkward silence, Sora lost in her own thoughts and me trying to think of something. "Yamato, it's my fault Taichi broke up with me."

"What do you mean, Sora?"

"Remember that one party at Jyou's house, and remember when Taichi basically said that he liked me? Well, I wasn't sure if he meant it or not. I mean, I really liked him, but I had always assumed that he liked someone else. I never imagined that it could have been me. After a while of not knowing whether to take him serious or not, I finally got the courage to ask him if he really meant it. He said that he did mean it and then asked me to be his girlfriend.

"We had an amazing time together. We'd do all the things a regular couple would do. You know: go on dates, hold hands, kiss, write love letters, cuddle, and make-out…which he would do very well…I guess you get the basic idea. I really didn't feel like there was anything wrong between us. We clicked well, I thought. I would sometimes even consider the thought of us getting married someday.

"Then…you came back. When I first saw you, it was almost like I had completely forgotten about Taichi. I didn't feel so strong toward him like I had before. I think Taichi could tell that I had developed a crush on you. He would distance himself from me and didn't seem to want to be with me as much as he used to. I started to feel a little guilty.

"Finally, he broke up with me last week. I guess I had been expecting it, but it still broke my heart. I asked him if it had anything to do with you and…he said yes. After that, I had been so confused with my feelings. I thought I really liked you, but I still feel something for Taichi.

"I decided the only way to really tell would be if I kissed you. I'll admit that…I felt a little excited, but it's nothing like when Taichi would kiss me. I guess in the end, I know that I like you…but I'm still in love with Taichi. I probably always will be…" She paused, then started to laugh a little. "I'm sorry Yamato. I don't know why I went off like that. You didn't have to listen to my whole love life." Sora opened the door to her apartment and entered. "Thanks again for the date, Yamato. It was really fun. Good night."

"Night," I muttered as she closed the door. I stood there for a moment longer, and then stalked off.

I was so pissed off. I don't know why I was so angry, but I was. If Sora hadn't have gone off like that, I think I would have been perfectly fine. But just hearing her talk like that, especially about Taichi…

I smirked to myself as an idea of vengeance popped into my head. _I'll go to Taichi's place. Maybe that way, I'll feel slightly better._

**oXoXoXoXo**

I knocked on the door of the Yagami apartment. I felt _slightly_ better being here, but ninety-nine percent of me was still feeling hostile. The apartment door opened and I stared in shock at the image of Taichi that stood before my eyes.

The only item of clothing he had was a blue towel wrapped loosely around his waist. His hair was messy and looked wet. His body seemed to glisten from the stray water droplets that were falling down his dark skin tone. Taichi's muscles were perfectly visible and seemed to tempt anyone one who saw them to dare and touch the glorious god-like figure. The blood rushed into my face as I caught myself staring at his half nakedness.

"Yamato, what are you doing here?" he asked in his sickly voice. He sounded better…but my attention was else where. I continued to stare, and he must have remembered that he was not fully dressed. He pulled me inside and closed the door. "Stay here; I'll go put some clothes on." Taichi started to walk to his room.

"No, that's ok," I heard myself say. I clasped a hand over my mouth as Taichi turned to me.

"What's that?" he asked. I shook my head and he simply smiled and walked into his room. _Oh shit! What if he heard me? _I felt as though my face was flaming up worse than a bonfire. _Where the hell did _that_ come from? _I sat down on the couch and Taichi walked in, drying off his hair with the towel. He had a navy blue hoodie on and black basketball shorts on. "Sorry, I had just gotten out of the shower and I thought it might have been my parents who forgot the key again." I nodded as he laid the towel on the arm of the couch and then sat next to me. "What brings you here?"

"Huh?" I felt a little over-whelmed and out-of-it.

"Why did you decide to come over?" he asked again.

"Oh," I had to think for a moment, and then I remembered. "Sora."

"What about her?" Taichi asked again. I sighed and told him about our "door step scene" after our date. How she suddenly started spilling her love life out to me and that I felt angry afterwards for some reason. I didn't mention the fact that she kissed me however. After I finished, he just kept looking at me, then got a goofy grin on his face.

"What?" I asked confused. He scooted closer to me.

"You got jealous of her," he continued grinning. I backed off from his face.

"Oh please, no I didn't."

"Yes you did. Other wise, why would you be so defensive?"

"Maybe it's because I don't like the idea of being jealous."

"It's ok, Yamato. Jealousy is a normal human emotion. Especially if you're in love with someone."

"Who said I was in love with you?"

"…so you're not then?"

"Taichi, stop it! I told you that I don't know!" Unable to wipe the stupid grin off his face, I got frustrated. "Besides…_you_ should be the one that is jealous."

"About what?" he asked and his face turned serious. I smirked.

"Sora kissed me," I retorted. Then I pointed to my lips. "Right here. And it felt, oh so nice too. The way she moved her lips in rhythm with mine. Best I've ever felt." I folded my arms across my chest and smiled smugly to myself then looked at Taichi's face. He looked as though someone had promised him a puppy for his birthday and then told him it was all a lie. I frowned and stared at the floor. "I'm sorry Taichi…I didn't mean it."

"It's ok…" he murmured after a moment. We sat in silence for a long time. A low growl escaped from Taichi's stomach and I looked at him.

"Have you eaten anything?" I asked.

"No…but I'm not hungry," he replied. His stomach let out an even louder growl and he clutched his stomach. I gave him a look, then stood up and moved toward his kitchen.

"What did your family make for dinner?" I asked, inspecting the kitchen counter tops for any sign of leftovers.

"My parent's haven't been home all day," Taichi responded. "Hikari had to go in today for another surgery…" I looked at him, but he simply stared at the wall. I sighed and started looking for ingredients for spaghettis. As I waited for the water to boil, I heated up the spaghetti sauce and Taichi came over and stood behind me. "I'm not hungry Yamato. Honest."

"That's not what your stomach is saying," I smiled at him and nudged his stomach. He continued watching as I then added the spaghetti into the bubbling water. Finally, he left my side and turned on the small radio that was located near the kitchen sink. I froze when I heard the song the radio was playing.

"_I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,  
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,  
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,  
And you help somebody every chance you get,_"  
"Turn it off," I said. Taichi looked at me.

"Why? You've got something against Rascal Flatts?" he teased.

"No, I don't."

"Then why turn it off?"

"_Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,  
And you always give more than you take."_

"My grandma would play this song for me." Taichi looked a little taken back and I simply closed my eyes.

"_But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything…"_

"Taichi…please?" He turned it off and I sighed with relief. Taichi came and stood next to me for a short moment. Then he left me and went to sit at the table. There was silence that surrounded us for a long while.

"Tell me about your grandma," he said suddenly. I slowly stirred the spaghettis before responding.

"She was a wonderful lady," I said. "She is what kind of kept me from going completely insane in that country. She was old, but…she was still beautiful. She had sparkling blue eyes that matched her bright personality. She'd never let people mess with her, but she was still caring and understanding too. There would be times that I wouldn't believe that she was the mother of my mom." Taichi chuckled at that comment and I smiled. "For holidays, I was allowed to spend the break at her house because she lived pretty close to the boarding school. We had lots of fun cooking and telling stories to one another. I told her about our digimon adventure and she'd tell me about the time she accidentally tipped over a dressing booth she was dressing in." Taichi laughed a little harder and I also laughed a little, remembering the embarrassing experience she had. I left the spaghettis to cook and joined Taichi in the chair placed next to him.

"Sounds like you guys had a lot of fun together," Taichi smiled. I nodded.

"Yeah, we did," I admitted. "The first time I had heard that song, 'My Wish,' was during the Christmas break. I sat next to her from her old rocking chair that she would sit in and she softly sang me that song while it played on the radio. After the song was over, she kissed me and told me that…" I paused, remembering the words she told me and specifically what she was applying it to. Taichi waited patiently as I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat. "…she said that I should remember the words to that song, especially the chorus. She told me that people _do_ care about me and love me. She also told me to…be careful about who I give my heart to and that I should not allow someone to…" I couldn't finish. I didn't want to finish. My grandma knew about Peter, and what he was doing to me. She warned me about him and not let him treat me so lowly. I didn't listen to her because I was more afraid of him than what could happen to me.

"She got really sick once school ended," I choked out. _Don't cry you wimp. Don't cry._ "I know I could have made a better effort in going and helping her but…I didn't." _I couldn't. Peter would have hurt me._ "She died late one night…the one time I did try to take care of her. The last thing she said to me was…that song…With her last dying breaths…" I covered my eyes with one of my hands, knowing that I was about to cry soon. "After that…s-she asked me for some water. W-when I came back…" I stopped and took a deep breath so that I could try to control the tears that were starting to slip out. Taichi placed a hand on my hand that was still on the table. I pulled it back and stood up, whipping away the tears, to check on the spaghettis. I took the pot off the stove and quickly tried to find the strainer. I dumped the spaghetti into the strainer, and then placed them back into the pot to add the sauce in.

"My mom and Takeru came for the funeral," I continued as I mixed the two ingredients together. I dumped the final product into a large bowl, got a plate and silverware for Taichi, and placed it in front of him to eat. "It kind of bugged me that Takeru went, since he never got the chance to get to know her…but he turned out to be a real life saver." I sat down in front of him at the opposite end of the table and folded my arms...thinking about "that night." "A _real_ life saver…" I looked at Taichi. He was just staring at his dinner. I smiled at him. "…Well? Aren't you going to eat?" He shook his head. "Taichi."

"How can I eat when the people I love are suffering?" he murmured. I blinked at him a few times and he pushed away the bowl of spaghetti. "Hikari is in the hospital with appendicitis, my parents are worried sick for her, and you're in pain too…"

"Huh?"

"Yamato…you act like you're really tough but…deep down, you're hurting about something…I know you are." I blushed and stared at the table.

"…Is it…_that_ obvious?" I asked slowly.

"Mm-hmm," he sighed. His stomach let out a loud growl and I looked up at him. He had a painful look on his face as he clutched his stomach slightly.

"Taichi…have you not eaten since Sunday?" I asked. His brown eyes shone with guilt. I moved myself to the seat closer to him and sat down. "Taichi, I am _not_ leaving until you have eaten at least a little bit of what I made you. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. And I know that Hikari will be alright as well." He didn't look convinced. "Taichi…it will hurt me worse if you get hurt. I…" I paused and thought carefully how to phrase it. I gave up and just said, "I don't know what I'd do if anything bad were to happen to you." Taichi looked surprised at me and I smiled nervously. Then, he slowly and hesitantly leaned forward…and kissed me.

Two kisses in one night…I wasn't expecting that. I felt him move his lips gently against mine and then his tongue brush my bottom lip. I closed my eyes, slightly opened my mouth and his allowed his tongue to enter. While his tongue explore my mouth, I let out a soft sigh. He pulled back and we stared at one another.

"How was that compared to Sora's kiss?" Taichi smiled. I glared at him and moved away. How could I have just _willingly_ let him kiss me like that? And he's being so proud about it. I must be stupider than I thought…

"Just eat your food you idiot," I growled, frustrated with myself. "And don't kiss me again."

"Ever?" He asked. I glared at him again. "Come on Yamato, I know you liked it." I was about to answer, but nothing came out. Taichi's smile grew even bigger and I wanted to slug him for being so proud of what he did and for playing with my emotions.

"Unless I tell you its ok," I finally said. "Or if I do it myself."

"Hmm. I guess I could live with that." Taichi dished out a small portion of spaghetti and took a small bite. His face was a mixture of shock and happiness. "Dude…this is really good!" As he continued to eat, there was a knock at the door. I stood and went to answer it. On the other side, it was Takeru. He seemed surprised to see me answer.

"Yamato?" he asked.

"Hey, Takeru," I answered curiously. "What brings you here?"

"Um…I was just…around," Takeru shifted nervously from foot to foot, something he usually does when he's trying to lie. Taichi joined me at the door with the plate of spaghettis in hand. "Oh, hi Taichi."

"Hey Takeru, what's up?" Taichi asked before finishing off his plate. Takeru looked at both of us then sighed. I smiled, knowing that my little brother wouldn't _dare_ lie to the leader of the digidestineds.

"Hikari wanted me to check up on you," he finally admitted. Taichi's eyes widened.

"Is she ok?" he asked urgently.

"Yes, she's fine. The surgery went really well. She was still worried about you though and asked me to check up on you." Taichi looked at the ground and nodded.

"Well, I'm glad she's ok," Taichi sighed.

"Sounds like you've been getting better," Takeru smiled. Taichi nodded and went back inside. I was about to follow him in. "Hey Yamato, can I talk to you?" I looked at my younger brother. He looked quite serious and so I nodded.

"Taichi, I'm going to leave now with my brother," I said to him. "Are you going to be ok?" Taichi looked up at me with his dark caramel eyes.

"Are you going to be?" he asked. There was no sarcasm in his tone. He was being honest when he asked me that. I nodded slowly. "I'm sure I'll be able to manage…thanks Yamato."

"No problem." I started to head out.

"Yamato." I looked back at him. "…You're my best friend." _I love you, _I translated in my mind. I smiled and nodded understandingly. Then I closed the door and walked out to the streets with my brother.

"What are you doing out so late?" I asked Takeru. "It's almost eleven now."

"Mrs. Yagami called me to let me know that Hikari had just woken up from surgery, so I went to go visit her." I nodded.

"You still really like her, huh?"

"No…I love her. And it makes me worried sick to know that she's not ok."

"…yeah…I know how that's like."

"What are you doing out late Yamato?"

"Huh? Oh, I had a date with Sora."

"How did that go?"

"Eh."

"Eh?"

"Eh." Takeru and I chuckled at our descriptive dialogue. We continued to walk down the street. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"…just…wanted to ask you about that night."

"Dammit Takeru, can't you just forget it?" I growled irritably.

"Yamato, you were bleeding and beaten up really badly."

"I told you, I was playing football with—"

"Why would you be bawling your eyes out if you were playing football, Yamato? I know you and I know that you are stronger than that!"

"NO! I'm not Takeru! So just drop it already!" Takeru took a step away from me and stared at me wide-eyed. I calmed down a little and regretted how I acted. "Sorry…just, drop it. Please, Takeru?" Takeru stood there for a moment, but then nodded stiffly. "I'll walk you to the subway so that you can get home. Don't get robbed or anything, ok?"

"Sure thing," he replied. We continued to walk in silence. Takeru looked up at the sky and stopped. "Look Yamato! A shooting star!" I looked up and nearly missed seeing a bright dot shooting across the sky.

"Remember how we'd always stay up late looking for those things?" I smiled at the memory. Takeru laughed and nodded.

"Quick! Make a wish!" I looked at him, and then back up at the sky. There were many things I could wish for. I could wish that Peter would stop harassing me. I could wish that I could be a different person. I could wish that the memories would go away.

_What about Taichi? Who didn't get to see this?_ A thought crossed my mind. The song my grandmother came into my mind after that thought about Taichi. I smiled and closed my eyes. Memories of us goofing off together, with our ridiculous fights and inside jokes, were coming back into my mind. I was still smiling and started to hum the song to myself, while the lyrics ran through my head.

_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,  
You never need to carry more than you can hold,  
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,  
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,_

"Made your wish?" Takeru interrupted my thoughts. I smiled at him and nodded. He smiled back and we both walked toward the subway station. I continued to smile while we walked to the subway and my walk back to my apartment. I couldn't stop smiling. I don't know why… Maybe it was the thought of making that wish for Taichi…

I want him to be happy. I don't want him to be hurting himself over things that he couldn't control over…

_Yeah… this, is my wish._

_

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"My Wish," by Rascal Flatts.

Um...is it sad that I almost started crying myself while writing this? It is? Ok...just wondering...I actually revised this chapter a couple of times. I'm not too satisfied with the way the ending turned out, but I guess it will do...

_Let me know what you think of this chapter! Flames will be used for weenie roasting!_


	9. Secrets

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_**NOTE:**__ Oh my goodness! An update and a some-what shorter chapter! :O ...I think this chapter may be another "filler" chapter...but...it contributes to the story later on. I feel like I haven't worked on this story in forever...which I haven't (I haven't contributed to this story at all over the weekend...hence why I'm updating now instead of the weekend). Hmm...if I don't stop with the quick updates then this story will be over soon...and I won't know what to write next...oh well..._

_**WARNING:** Slash and Language. Don't like slash? What are you doing all the way in chapter 8 of this story then?_

_**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Digimon...trust me. You would know if I did..._

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**CHAPTER 8. Secrets**

"_The Teenage Wolves?_" Takahiro asked the band. I nodded with out looking up from the music and lyrics I was writing. _The Teenage Wolves _and I were sitting in a backstage room, awaiting the time to perform for three judges. We found out from Takahiro, that to be able to make it into the "War of the Bands," the band competition, we had to go through a sort of audition process. I guess the judges felt like it was necessary to do this so that they wouldn't waste their time on horrible amateur bands. Takahiro looked at each of the members of _The Teenage Wolves_ band, then back at our application paper. "How did this name come to be?"

"It was a collaboration effort," Anneke informed the red-headed judge. "See, a few of our band members couldn't decide between _'Teenage Revolution'_ and _'The Lone Alpha Wolves from the North.'_"

"I still like my idea," Shino muttered to himself.

"It was too mouthy," Masaru shot back. "People would be like, 'Hey! That was a cool band! Too bad I can't remember the name of it because it was so damn long!'"

"Anyways," Anneke continued. "We finally decided to let our 'lovable' leader of the band decide on the name. And he decided to mesh the two names together." Again, I didn't look up from the music sheet I had been scribbling on since October.

"Well, I like both of those names," Takahiro said. "But _The Teenage Wolves_ is also a very good and creative name. It's nothing like we've heard of." He gave us a comforting grin and headed out with our application. "A stage manager will come here and let you guys know when you're next. Best of luck to _The Teenage Wolves!_" Then he left the room. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I paused for a second to see if it was a call or a text. It buzzed only twice, which meant it was a text. I pulled it out to check who it was from. I smiled when I saw Taichi's name, and opened the message.

**knock, knock.** I stared curiously at the text and started typing in a reply.

_**Who's there?**_ I pushed send and waited a moment. He replied quickly which meant that he was probably bored out of his mind.

**Orange.**

_**Orange who?**_

**Orange u glad i txtd u?**

_**...ha ha. You're so funny…*sarcasm implied***_

**lol. wat r u doing?**

_**Cringing at your terrible spelling. You?**_

**Nthng. :D How's the band thing going?**

_**Still waiting…**_

**Rlly?**

_**Ya…shoot me… XP**_

**Wanna hang after?**

"Yamato!" I looked up from my cell texting conversation to Hayato's face. "We're up next in five minutes. Get ready." My stomach started to flip around nervously. This was it. A make it or break it for _The Teenage Wolves._ I quickly texted Taichi a reply.

_**Hell ya! Gtg now. The band is going on. Wish me luck!**_ I dropped the phone on the desk and quickly followed my band members on to back stage.

"Stop! Stop! STOP!" a gruff voice bellowed out. "Horrid! Absolutely _horrid!_ Honestly, it felt like I was listening to a mixture of cats being shoved into the blender and metal nails being repeatedly rasped against a chalk board! Ladies, don't sing unless you know what the hell you are doing!" My heart sank as his cruel words echoed in the air. I looked over at the rest of the band. They were all looking at me, hope and fear both in their eyes. I gave them a thumbs up and looked back out to the stage.

"Thank you ladies," a female voice said into the microphone. "That will be all." We opened a path way to allow the poor girls to exit off the stage. "Next?"

"Band number forty-five," Takahiro's familiar voice called out. "_The Teenage Wolves._" The stage manager started to push us all out on to the stage. Sitting at a long table, behind their own personal microphones, were the three judges of the competition. Sitting at the far right was Takahiro, who gave us a comforting grin. In the middle was a middle-aged woman with short light brown hair and she eyed us curiously. The last judge seated at the far left, was a plump older man. His hair was completely gray and he wore an unimpressed scowl on his face. "When ever you're ready kids." I looked back to check on my band members. They were checking their equipment quickly then nodded to me to signify they were ready. I stepped up to the microphone.

"Good evening," I spoke into the mic. "We are _The Teenage Wolves._ We will be performing a song for you called, 'Walking on the Edge.'" Takahiro and the woman started to scribble things down on a piece of paper; the elderly man just sat there and stared on disapprovingly. I gave my band a count and we started the song. I listened carefully to my voice and also the other member's music notes. I would make mental notes when I heard a note too sharp, someone was off beat for a few counts, or I felt like we should change something in the music for next time. The song was over once Anneke strummed the last F sharp on her guitar. I stared down at the ground for a second before looking back at the judges. They were expressionless, a quality judges usually have to not give away what they thought of the performer. They must have obviously liked us however, because we were not stopped during our song.

"Thank you kids," the woman nodded while pulling out small reading glasses. "We have a few questions for you now. My question is: how long have you been together as a band?"

"Um…probably about four and a half months, ma'am," I replied. She nodded, scribbled something down, and then looked at Takahiro.

"The song you performed, is it an original piece?" The red-haired man asked.

"Yes sir," I nodded.

"Do you usually write your own music?"

"Well…yes, sometimes. We usually practice playing songs that are already out, but we've been practicing this song for about a month now."

"Impressive…" Takahiro grinned big and wrote down some things on his own paper. The two judges turned to the last member. He was chewing on his nail, examined it, then leaned forward toward us. His glaring face was directly at me, and I shrank a little.

"Are you a homosexual?" He murmured into his microphone. I froze completely. Was he being serious? Was he joking? How did he guess anyways? Takahiro leaned back in his chair and said something inaudible to the last judge. The female judge nodded and supported Takahiro's argument angrily. I bit my bottom lip and hoped for the best. Someone walked up behind me and took the mic from me. It was Masaru.

"Sir, I can assure you that no one in this band is gay. Isn't that right Yamato?" He smiled at me. I didn't say anything. "Right?" His smile faded when I didn't respond and he looked worried. "Yamato?"

"We apologize for the inconvenient question," the woman spoke angrily into the mic. "Please, wait backstage where you were and we will send one of our judges to speak with you." I nodded and walked off the stage and to the room where we were waiting previously. I picked up my phone, but before I could see the reply text Taichi sent me, the band came barging into the room.

"You're gay?" Shino's voice was a pitch higher when he asked that question. "And you didn't tell us?" I guess Anneke really didn't end up telling them like I had thought she would.

"Shino," Hayato said. "It's his business, not ours. If he didn't want to tell us, he didn't have to."

"Who says he is actually gay, Hayato?" Masaru growled. "I've known Yamato for a really long time, and I'm sure that he is not gay. Right, Yamato?" Anneke came up behind her cousin and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Masaru," she said gently. "I think we should let him have a say." I stared at all of the band members. They stared at me, waiting to hear what I had to say. I placed my cell phone in my pocket, swallowed and opened my mouth to say something.

"Hey, guys," Takahiro poked his head into the room and we all jumped. "Can I talk to Yamato for a moment?" I sighed with relief and gratefully left with the red-haired judge. I looked up at him with curiosity when we were down the hall, so that the others wouldn't be able to hear. "Well, you guys are in."

"That's great!" I grinned. Takahiro didn't seem too happy however and I frowned. "What's the catch?"

"Well…see…Mr. Yalo, the older judge who asked you that…"

"Yeah, I remember him. And?"

"He's…a bit of a homophobic."

"…oh…"

"Yeah…I'm sorry Yamato. You guys did really great, that's why Mrs. Gull and I fought hard to keep you in the competition. Unfortunately, the press was also there to listen to that whole thing, so I'd be on the look out for them. Especially since you guys made it now." I stared at the floor. We made it into the competition…but it was going to be harder than ever to impress the last judge.

"Hey, chin up kid," he said patting my head. "You guys made it. Don't worry about Mr. Yalo, we'll try to soften him up." He turned and headed back to the stage. "I'll see you guys in February. Best of luck to you guys." I nodded and walked back to the room, where my band was waiting for me.

"Well?" Masaru asked. "What's the answer?" I looked at all of them again and sighed. There was no turning back now…

"Yes," I said softly. "I am gay." There were mixed reactions from the band. Masaru's eyes widened and his jaw dropped open. Anneke looked calmly at me and then to her cousin. Hayato looked surprise, but then nodded and muttered something to Shino. Shino looked dumbfounded.

"Have you had a relationship before?" Shino asked while handing Hayato twenty dollars. I nodded. "You still with him?"

"Hell no," I muttered. "He…wasn't the best boyfriend…"

"Do you like anyone?"

"…maybe…"

"Anyone in the band?" Masaru glared. I flinched at his hostility.

"No, not anyone in the band…" I replied.

"Who then?" Hayato asked. Before I could answer, I felt arms wrap around me and lift me up from the floor.

"Guess who?" Taichi grunted happily as he spun me around.

"Taichi! Put me down!" I blushed. He did so and flashed his goofy grin at me. I looked back at the band and from the looks on their faces, they must have concluded who the "maybe" person must have been. I also saw Hayato once again mutter something to Shino. Shino sighed and handed him another twenty dollars. I turned and faced Taichi again.

"Someone die or something?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"You never answered my text."

"I told you I had to go."

"Ah, well I got impatient."

"Of course you did…"

"Yamato," Taichi looked closely at my face and grinned again. "Did you know that you're cute when you're blushing?" I blushed even harder as I heard the others snicker at the comment. I shoved Taichi out the door.

"Out," I shooed him. "Wait for me outside!"

"But it's snowing," he protested.

"You're hot! You'll—"

"Why Yamato…I never knew you thought of me that way."

"Just get out!"

"But I—"

"OUT!" I pushed him out and closed the door. Turning back to the band, I waited for them to say something.

"I knew it," Hayato grinned. Shino pouted miserably at losing his forty dollars. Masaru kept his eyes to the ground and Anneke gazed at me with her dark eyes. "Yamato, it's ok that you're gay. And it's ok if you like Taichi too."

"I don't like him," I muttered.

"You don't?" Shino asked.

"Yes."

"You do?"

"No!"

"…do you or don't you?"

"I don't…know…" I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know…I certainly don't when he embarrasses me like that…" I looked up at Masaru. He looked rather upset and I felt slightly guilty. "I'm sorry Masaru…" He shrugged and murmured something under his breath. "…on the bright side guys, we made it to the actual competition."

"We did?" Anneke asked, looking and sounding a little surprised.

"Yes!" Hayato punched the air and grinned at Shino. "Pay up dude! Another twenty!"

"Is there anything _else_ you two made a bet on?" I growled, irritated when Shino handed his friend another twenty dollars. They exchanged glances then looked back at me.

"What's your favorite color?" Hayato asked. I blinked a few times, then thought for a moment. Almost instantly, my crest of friendship, Gabumon and Taichi's shirt came to my mind.

"…blue," I said. "My favorite color is blue."

"Dammit!" Hayato cursed. It was Shino's turn to rejoice as Hayato gave him back the sixty dollars he had won and now lost. I smiled in amusement, but then frowned.

"What's wrong Yamato?" Shino asked.

"Takahiro said that some people from the media were out there to hear all of what had just happened. He cautioned us to be careful."

"…you don't want people to know?" I shook my head. The band looked at one another, then Shino walked up to me and placed both hands on my shoulder. "You're still the same Yamato band leader we all know and respect. I promise I won't tell anyone. Even if they tie me to a truck and drag me across the country." Shino turned back to the rest of the band. "Who's with me?"

"As I said before," Hayato nodded. "It's ok if you're gay Yamato. And I also promise not to tell." We looked at the last two members. Anneke dipped her head and then looked at her cousin. Masaru still kept his gaze on the floor.

"Masaru," I walked over to him. He turned away slightly. "I'm sorry…that I didn't tell you. I just didn't feel…ready…" Masaru slowly, and reluctantly, looked up at me. My close band friend and I exchanged silent words while looking at each other.

"…I don't like it," he admitted. I nodded understandingly. "But…you're still my friend. I won't tell either."

"Thank you," I smiled at him and then to the rest of the band. Masaru picked up his bass and left the room with out another word.

"Better get to your 'hot' date soon," Hayato teased. Shino chuckled and the two friends also left. I blushed and sighed at the comment. Anneke then came up to me and handed me…my music.

"It's really good Yamato," she said in her soft voice. "As much as I hate to admit it. You should finish it and we should perform it for the competition."

"I don't think so," I shook my head. "I'm just writing this for fun. We'll probably just end up using it for practice."

"No. You're writing it because you love Taichi," Anneke smirked slightly.

"I do not," I growled and scanned through the music to see if there was any hint at all that I was in love with someone. She looked at me carefully and I blushed. "I don't know how I feel, Anneke! I'm…not ready to have any relationship with anyone again."

"Hmm…well, when you do finally decide to stop being so damn stubborn and admit that you're in love with the air-headed soccer player, let me know."

"He's not an air-head!" I said defensively as she picked up her guitar and headed out the door. She stopped at the doorway and turned to look at me.

"Mm-hmm," she smiled. Then she also vanished. I stood by myself in the room and started to feel really confused. It was getting harder and harder for me to say that I didn't love Taichi. Was Anneke right? Am I just being stubborn? Well…if she was right, which I'm not saying she is, maybe that would give me more courage to…come out of the closet. When I'm with Taichi, I feel…stronger. Like, together, nothing came stop us. Not the hate, or critiques, or hell that would charge full speed at us. Taichi…he confuses me so badly. I scratched my head and sighed in frustration. _I don't know…I really don't know…_My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the text.

**I no u said i'm hot, but my ass can't stand the cold any longer! Hurry up! **I smiled with amusement. I gathered my stuff together and then remembered to check the other message Taichi had sent earlier. **Good luck!** I smiled at the text and then hurried to my "hot" friend who was waiting for me outside.

_Thanks Taichi…I'm going to need it now more than ever…_

-X-X-X-X-

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_Tell me what you want to hear  
Something that'll like those ears  
Sick of all the insincere  
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away  
This time  
Don't need another perfect lie  
Don't care if critics never jump in line  
I'm Gonna give all my secrets away_

_-Secrets, One Republic_

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__Tai...y do u suck txting? Hee hee. Well, that's chapter eight for the story "Patience." After this chapter...things will start to speed up/get interesting. In fact, here is a sneak peak at a future chapter (just because I'm really nice and UBER tired):_

"I hate the fucking hospital. Nothing good has ever come to me when that hellish place comes into my life. First, Hikari was taken there for getting pneumonia. Because of me. Then she once again is taken there due to a late detection of appendicitis. Because of me. And now, I sat in the waiting room of the white walled asylum, staring at my hands. They were stained with blood…Yamato's blood. The only person I ever truly fell in love with was now in the hospital fighting for his life. Because of me."

_That was Tai's POV. Although I treated you all to a sneak peak, I don't mind a few words on the preview but I'd appreciate more comments for the chapter itself. No flames please, or else I will use them for a weenie roast. :)_


	10. Collide

**_NOTE:_**_ Once upon a time, there was an author named Psycho Weasel, who stayed up until 2 in the moring writing this chapter, despite the fact that they had to get up at seven later that day, and then they saved the finished product ff (dot) net. When they were going to go proof-read the chapter, they had no available computer until now. The end._

_Sad story eh? Well, it has a happy ending because I post it up the chapter now! Yay! :D I hope you all like this chapter, I kind of like it...maybe because I know what happens next. Hee-hee. :D_

_**WARNING:** Language and slash. No like slash? No read slash!_

_**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Digimon...at all...brings sadness to my heart. :(_

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CHAPTER 9. Collide

**"**_**Last Thursday, on January fourteenth, **_**Spill It!**_** magazine tracked down young band leader, Yamato Ishida, with a strapping, handsome, young man at a local coffee shop. To no surprise, the two young males were bundled up, not only to warm themselves from the weather, but also to avoid photos from the paparazzi (Nice try Yamy, but we can spot that gorgeous face of yours from a mile away). While undercover, I observed that the young couple bought their own cup of hot chocolate and then happily conversed with one another for what seemed like an hour or two, though their conversation was inaudible. However, it got to a point, where the mysterious young man took the lead singer's hand and pressed it against his lips (see picture above). Obviously a sign of affection!**_

_**"As mentioned in earlier magazine issues, the subject of Ishida's sexuality arose when auditioning for the up-coming band competition, 'War of the Bands.' The judge, Hiro Yalo asked the band leader of **_**The Teenage Wolves **_**if he was homosexual. After a moment, the band had left the stage without a confirmation or a denial. When Ishida would be asked the question of his sexuality, he would reply with 'no comment,' or quietly slip away.**_

_**"**_**Spill It!_ magazine_**_** asked about Ishida's sexuality to his friends, family and band members. Most all of them dodged the question with rapid speed. Some of them say that it is a privacy issue, while others honestly have no clue about the young rock star's love life.**_

_**"'I never talked to him about his relationship status before,' fellow friend and classmate, Mimi Tachikawa admits bashfully. When asked about the mysterious man hanging around Ishida, Tachikawa simply replied, '…there's a mysterious guy involved?'**_

_**"It almost seems like the mystery of the band leader's sexuality, and his main squeeze, may never be discovered. In my opinion, I do believe Ishida is gay. Let's face it, not a lot of males would be as happy as he was that day with the young man. Ishida's sense of fashion and style is beyond those of his fellow peers. And who could forget that luscious head of hair that he carefully styles to perfection and wears with such pride around the town. This is only one author's opinion, now what about yours? We want to hear what you have to say about this attractive young man's sexuality. Is he straight? Is he gay? Just **_**Spill It!"**

I dropped the magazine on the table, and buried my face in my hands. Taichi sat there for a moment, then pulled the magazine closer to him to re-read the article. I mentally scolded myself to how open Taichi and I had been last Thursday…only, we weren't truly being "affectionate" at all. I mean, sure, we had gone sledding before hand and so we decided to buy some hot chocolate to warm ourselves up afterwards. As for the photo, what had _really_ happen was that Taichi had told me that his nose had gotten cold again and made me touch it so that I would believe him. The reporter positioned themselves at the right spot to make it seem like Taichi truly had given me a kiss on the hand.

"That's the latest update," Taichi sighed as he closed the magazine and pushed it farther away from him. "I saw this magazine while buying a few things in the grocery store." I nodded, but didn't look up at him. Taichi's parents were out of town to visit and check up on Taichi's father's parents for the weekend, and Hikari had gone off to a slumber party with some friends. My own father was out of town for a business trip and I didn't necessarily feel like staying alone for the weekend. So I called Taichi up and he agreed to spend the weekend at my place. He informed me that he would have to make a stop at the store, and when he came over, he brought the magazine with him.

"This thing has been going on for weeks now," I huffed through my fingers. "Guess they needed a new story and I just happened to let my guard down." I absent mindedly started to tap the scar on my left eye. Taichi watched me for a moment, then sighed and rested his head on his arms. I looked at him and he had his eyes closed.

I smiled at my burnet friend as he sighed deeply. He looked very peaceful as he rested there. So peaceful, that I was almost convinced that he had fallen asleep. Taichi had stayed up with me the night before, when I called him about a nightmare I had. It was the same nightmare over and over again and it would always scare me to death. Taichi seemed to be the only medicine for this. He always made me feel safe and happy when I am around him. I knew that if I ever needed someone, then I could always count on him…I wonder if he knows how much I appreciate him…_Hmm..._I leaned forward and poked him on the shoulder. Taichi stirred a little and then his eyelids slowly opened.

"Come here," I stood and motioned for him to follow me. He did so and followed me to my room. I pulled out my guitar that my father had given to me for my fifteenth birthday from its stand and started to tune it up. He tilted his head as I tightened the third string on my guitar.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Just sit down on my bed or something," I playfully ordered him. He smiled and sat down on the edge of my bed. I finished setting up the guitar and pulled up my own chair to sit on. "I just wanted to treat you with your own private performance of me playing my guitar. It's…kind of my way of saying…thanks for everything…" I was about to start the song I had picked out to play, but then stopped. I looked up at him, as he waited patiently. "It…might not be that good. I'm sorry if I suck…"

"You don't suck," Taichi replied. "You can never suck. At least, not to me…" I blushed and then started to strum the beginning part of the song. I felt my face heat up when within the first two measures, I mess up the chords. Taichi smiled reassuringly at me and I started to sing the first chorus. His head was rested on his hands, which were resting on his knees, and that he had closed his eyes again. This time however, he was listening to the lyrics I could tell. I smiled to myself and finished the chorus before continuing to the next verse.

_"I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression  
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes_  
_Even the stars refuse to shine_  
_Out of the back you fall in time_  
_I somehow find_  
_You and I collide."_

I continued with the song, but thought carefully about the second verse. I felt that it seemed to describe my relationship between Taichi and I well. We were completely different…and yet, he was in love with me. Madly in love. I felt slightly guilty because I didn't know if I felt the same way about him…or did I? I glanced up at Taichi once again. His smile was slowly fading, but his eyes were still closed. I always had a funny feeling arise from the pit of my stomach when I would look at him. It was a mixture of excitement and happiness…I almost missed the last chord because my mind had been occupied elsewhere. I shook my head and played the last note.

"Well, that's it," I sighed. "That was 'Collide' by Howie Day, a popular song over in the United States when I went over." I placed my guitar back to its stand and turned to look at Taichi. His eyes were open now, but he looked sad and distant. "What's wrong Taichi?"

"It's…nothing…"

"Of course it's something. What's wrong? You can tell me anything." Taichi smiled sadly as he looked at me. Then he moved his gaze down to the floor.

"…You know how my parents are gone?" he asked. I nodded. "Well…I kind of told Hikari to leave the house for the at least the night…you know, so she could have some fun?"

"Ah…well, that was nice of you." He nodded.

"Yeah…and besides…if you're whole family is not here to celebrate your birthday, then there is almost no point in celebrating it." I froze to the spot where I had been standing. "It's not my parent's fault for leaving though...they had to check up on my grandparents. They're kind of struggling right now..." My heart seemed to have sunken deeper than the Titanic itself.

"I…I-it's your birthday?" I panicked. How could I have been so _stupid_ and forgotten my best friend's birthday? I hurried over to him and lifted up his face up so that he was looking into my eyes. "Holy shit Taichi! I'm so sorry! I'll make it up to you I promise!"

"It's ok Yamato. I'm fine," he laughed. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist. I allowed him to pull me closer to him and to bury his face into my stomach. "Really…I'm fine." We stayed like that for a few minutes. I hesitantly, lifted my hands and placed them on the top of his head. We stood there for a long time. He sighed once I started to run my fingers through his hair. "…Feels good…" That encouraged me to start using my other hand too. Taichi seemed to purr as I reached the back of his neck and made my way back to the back of his head. I smiled at what seemed to be the most perfect moment I have had in a very long time.

And then it was ruined…my phone buzzed and rang loudly from my pocket. We both jumped, but didn't remove our hands from where they were. I reluctantly pulled my phone without my right hand, but continued to caress his hair with my left. The caller I.D. was Masaru. Taichi slyly slid his hands down from my waist to my butt and kept them there as I answered Masaru's call.

"Hello?" I answered as I felt myself blush.

"Yamato! You've got to come down to the studio quick!" Masaru sounded as though he was slightly panicking.

"Masaru, what's wrong?"

"Someone broke into the studio!"

"What? You're kidding!"

"No! I'm not! I don't know if they took anything or not, but you've got to come down here and check it for yourself!"

"I'm on my way. Call the others and tell them to get their asses down there faster than the speed of light!"

"Anneke is here with me, but I'll be sure to call the others! See ya."

"Bye." I hung up and handed Taichi my phone. "Hold this." I rushed to my closet and pulled out my jacket. Then I hurried over to the front door.

"What's going on?" Taichi asked as he watched me fumble with my shoes.

"Someone broke into our studio," I answered as I finished tying the lace of my shoes. "Who knows what the hell they might have taken and what not." I stood and was about to leave, but stopped. I turned back and looked at my friend, who had been left alone for his birthday. I was about to do the same thing to him. I walked over to him and took his hands. "Come with me?" He tilted his head slightly. I looked down at the ground. "I know that an old television studio is probably not the place you want to be for your birthday…but…I don't want to leave you by yourself...Besides…I...I _want_ you to come with me." I felt him squeeze my hand tighter. I looked up and he nodded before he hurried to get his coat and shoes on. Then we were off to inspect the damage of the break in.

**oXoXoXoXo**

"Well, all the equipment is still here," Anneke sighed as she walked back onto the small stage.

"Nothing seems wrong out of place or anything," Shino said as he and Hayato came from right stage. Masaru came back, holding a large brick in his hand.

"I found what they had broken in for," he murmured darkly. He handed me the brick. On it was a piece of paper that was attached with a rubber band. It read: "Run Faggot, run!" "They went into the dressing room and tore the place apart. I guess they were looking for evidence or something to prove that you are gay." He tapped on the piece of paper. "They wrote that on the dressing room wall as well."

"Is there any way we can fix the damage these retards made?" I asked the group. A strong breeze entered through the window where the vandilizers had made their entery. I folded my arms across my chest. "Especially that broken window."

"My dad could probably take a look at it," Hayato replied shivering. "Who knew that one little window could let in so much air?"

"Who knew one little brick could be so harsh?" Anneke blew into her hands to warm them up.

"…I don't have time to deal with stupid hate people," I growled at the writing on the brick. I handed the brick back to Masaru and started walking back to where Taichi was waiting for me. "It's Taichi's birthday and I forgot it, so I want to make it up to him. I'll see you guys later." Shino and Hayato whooped "encouraging" words at me as I left. I rolled my eyes and smiled before opening the door to the main office room. My smile vanished when I saw that Taichi had my phone pressed against his ear. I had forgotten to take it back after Masaru called me about the break in. "Taichi? Who are you talking to?" I walked over to him and tried to retrieve my phone, but he held his hand up for me to wait.

"Oh, he did now then?" he asked. His tone sounded bitter and hurt. I started to get worried as I saw that his eyes were starting to water up slightly. "Oh…right…of course." I reached up again to take the phone from him, but this time he pushed my arm away roughly. I was taken aback by his harshness and immediately knew that something was very wrong. "Alright…well, I'll be sure to tell him. Yeah…no, no…I'm glad you told me…_somebody_ had to sooner or later." The last sentence dripped with venom and was aimed to me. "Ok…ok…bye." He hung up the phone and then looked up at the ceiling. He was trying his best not to cry.

"Taichi," I said quietly. He looked back at me, his dark caramel eyes flamed with anger and hurt.

"Is this some kind of sick joke to you Yamato?" he spat at me as he shoved my phone back into my hands. "You think it's funny to do this to people? Because it's not! It hurts like hell!"

"Wha...What are you talking about?" I asked nervously and quite confused.

"Don't pretend you don't know! You know damn well what I'm talking about!" I took a step back and shrugged. He took a step forward to me. "That was your _boyfriend_ back in the U.S. I just got off the phone with!" My heart sank and I felt immediately sick. "Oh yeah, _now_ you remember huh? Yeah, he called just barely, asking for you, and he told me everything."

"He…he did?"

"Yeah! He told me everything you guys did together in _complete_ detail! He told me how much you two were in love and how…" He shut his eyes and gritted his teeth. "How much you…_hated_ me! He told me that he was the best thing that has ever happened to you in your life, ever since your parent's split up and all. He said that my personal nickname was the 'immature bastard' and that you'd get a kick of hearing that name anytime he meantioned it to you. He _also_ told me how you told him that you were so glad to be rid of the 'stupid air-head of a soccer player' and that if you were to ever see my face again, you'd throw up. Oh! And the best thing he said was that you said that when it comes to kissing, you'd give me a negative twenty five out of one-hundred!"

"N-no! Taichi! T-that's not true!" His eyes opened once again and he glared at me.

"How am I supposed to believe that when you didn't even tell me the fact that you had a boyfriend?" I opened my mouth to try and come up with an answer, but the rest of the band came out to the room.

"Hey Yamato, we just wanted to…" Masaru didn't finish what he was about to say. He saw that Taichi looked as though he was about to kill someone and that I was terrified beyond belief. "Is everything ok here guys?"

"Did you tell him about your boyfriend?" Shino asked. I flinched and looked down at the ground. Anneke slapped a hand on Shino's mouth so that he wouldn't add anything else.

"Could you give _Yamy_ and I a minute please?" Taichi growled through gritted teeth. I cringed at the nickname, and then looked up at the band. Everyone, even Anneke to a point, looked scared stiff at Taichi's hostility. They didn't move. "Now?" The band obeyed him immediately. I could tell they were becoming worried about me, but they also feared their own health. After they all exited through the main door, I finally looked at Taichi.

"They knew about Peter?" He hissed. "And you _still_ didn't even bother to tell me?" His jaw was tight, due to the fact that he must have been clenching his teeth hard. His fists were also clenched and his whole body seemed ready to just start throwing punches at me. All the safety and happiness I felt with Taichi before was ruined now…because of the lies of my jealous ex.

"Taichi," I whimpered and backed up slowly. "Taichi, please…please…"

"Please what Yamato?" he snarled at me. "'Please don't be mad?' 'Please don't care that I don't give a shit about you while you're killing yourself over me and waiting to see what the hell I have to say about you?'" He slammed his fist down on a nearby counter top and I defended my face instinctively. "I was such a jackass! Actually believing that…that…I ever had a chance! _With you!_" He turned and stormed off to the door. My hope...my peace...my best friend...it was all going to walk out of my life if I didn't do something, and fast. I found myself going after him.

"Taichi! Please!" I begged again.

"I _really_ love my birthday present Yamato. Yeah, finding out that the person you love has just been playing with your emotions is something that _everybody_ wants for their birthday. I'm so luck! Happy _fucking_ birthday to me!" He grabbed the handle of the door.

"NO! PLEASE!" I threw myself on him and held on tightly to him. He tensed up and it felt like he was about to push me away and start beating me up. Nothing happened however and I started shaking. "I'll…I'll tell you…everything…just please…listen…" I felt him relax slightly and then he let go of the handle. He pulled away from me and sat down against the wall.

"Well?" He grumbled. I bit my bottom lip and cautiously joined him. I tried to think of the words to say to him…but I knew that…if I were to tell him the whole truth…he would leave me. He would call me weak and stupid and then...I would be left alone. That's what Peter always told me anyways...and I believed him..."Look, if you're not going to say anything, then I'm just going to leave." But, if I don't say anything, then he would leave me too. I was facing a lose-lose situation and I couldn't make up my mind to which was worse: losing him because I am weak and stupid, or losing him because I couldn't say anything to defend myself about my "boyfriend." I took a deep breath to calm my nerves as best as I could.

"…Peter Klein…" I started. He stiffened at the name. "He…he was the head boy at the boarding school. When we first met, he immediately took an interest to me. I don't know why but…he would always want to be around me. A few weeks later, he told me that he was gay and that he had liked me since the first day he saw me. I told him that I was gay too but…that I was in love with someone else. The next day after I had said that…you sent me that letter saying that you were going out with Sora.

"That…that really killed me. I cried for days and would write you letters to see where the hell Sora came into the picture. I never received a letter back from you and that hurt me even worse. Peter knew what was going on and…he was there for me. He was my shoulder to cry on and the support I needed at the time. A few weeks after that whole thing, he told me that he only way to get over you would be to find someone else. He kissed me and...after that we were a couple.

"Peter was a really nice guy to begin with…but once we became a couple, he got more possessive. He didn't want me going out for long periods of time with other people or by myself. He would give me what he would call 'tough love' and told me that this was the only sort of love his family would have given him. After a few months however…that 'tough love' became abuse…

"My grandmother knew what was going on between Peter and I. She would try her best to keep me away from him, but it would only result into more cuts and bruises showing up on my skin for the next visit. My grandmother was really worried about me…but…she couldn't do much anymore because once school ended, she started to get really sick. I know I should have gone straight away to her house, but Peter tricked me into staying with him in his apartment. He would promise to take me to her house, but the weeks passed by and nothing happend...except for more hitting. It finally got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I would try and leave to go take care of her, but Peter would never let me. If I tried to sneak out, he would _alwasy _find me and tie me up in the closet for a day or so. The longest he did that for was three days…with no food or water either...

"One day finally…I managed to run away. I felt so happy to be able to be free from him for at least a short period of time…That happiness was crushed however when I found my dying grandmother alone in her house." I stopped for a moment to whipe away the tears that were starting to fall down my face. _How the hell could Taichi be in love with someone like me? _I felt so dirty and low...I looked at Taichi to see if he was reacting. His face looked interested in the story. I sighed and decided to tell him the "final chapter" of the story. "Takeru and mom came for the funeral…afterwards, they insisted that I come back home with them on the day they would leave, which would be in a week or so. I agreed but…I felt like Peter had the right to know that I was leaving. Since he was still my boyfriend at the time and I'm just plain stupid. I went to the apartment that he was renting and where he kept me in, but when I got there…it was empty. The door was open, but he wasn't there. I saw…on his desk, a stack of letters. I assumed that they were letters that were received late to the school and so I looked through them. I found your letter and I read it. Curiosity had gotten the better of me…you know? Then…then Peter found me with your letter…and...this is what happened…'that night…'"

_-X-X-X-X-_

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_

_Out of the doubt that fills my mind_

_I somehow find you and I collide_

_-Collide, Howie Day_

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_End of chapter nine. FF (dot) net's editing system creates anger in my heart sometimes. X( So if anything looks a little off (like someone pointed out that the last chapter was all in italics (GRRR!)), please let me know so I can fix it._

_Yeah...the only thing I don't like much about the chapter is the song I picked. I feel like it needed a more intense song...but I couldn't think of anything...meh..._

_Please review this chapter and give me some feed-back! I always love getting feed-back from my reader, it makes me want to update even more chapters. :) No flames please, I might run out of weenies._


	11. Love The Way You Lie: Reprise

_**NOTE:** This chapter took three days to write...and a whole week to post up. :P Reason why is because I am in a show and it opened just yesterday. Until that show is over, I have no personal free time...not even kidding you. I even lost my voice today but I managed to get enough of it back for tonight's show..._

_Well, enough about me! I'm sure you guys would much rather move on to the chapter. This whole chapter is Yamato's memory (in the story, he is telling Taichi what happened, but this chapter is portrayed as a memory). Just letting you guys know that I added in part of the epilogue from R4M into this story (If you remember/noticed it correctly). The rest of the chapter has to do with what happens after I ended the epilogue and what happened, "that night." I hope you will all enjoy it!_

_**WARNINGS:** Language, slash, and slight sexual content._

_**DISCLAIMER:** If I owned Digimon, do you think I would be writing a fanfic? No, I'd be creating up a new season with tons of Taito/Yamachi action!_

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**CHAPTER 10. Love The Way You Lie (Reprise)**

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-O-O-O-O-

"Peter?" I called into the room from the door way. It didn't seem like he was in. Funny how he left his door unlocked though…maybe he wanted me to come in.

_That or he was too drunk to lock it. I sighed and entered the room. Hopefully he wouldn't get too angry…I had always imagined him to be a little messy, but not like this. There were potato chip bags left open, clothes lying about and beer cans almost everywhere I looked. Peter was a good guy…I know he was…he was just an alcoholic and messy…and possessive… Looking around his apartment again, I noticed that the only thing tidy was his desk located at the end of the room. On top of it, it looked like there were some letters. I looked behind me to make sure that he wasn't coming and walked over to the desk. I figured that maybe I might have gotten a letter from my dad after school let out._

_I picked up the stack of letters and placed back the ones that were either addressed to other boys in our group or for Peter himself. Finally, I reach the last letter. It was addressed to me alright, but it wasn't from my dad. Or my mom. Or Mimi. Or Takeru._

_"Taichi," I gasped when I saw the hand writing. Peter must have opened the envelope from my dad that contained this letter…After waiting…for so long for him to write me, he finally does. Right when I don't feel anything for him, not even perhaps a friendship. Why should we have __any__ sort of relationship when he doesn't even bother to write to me at all? Especially after he tells me he's dating Sora...Well, I guess that tends to happen when two people are separated…they just lose contact/interest with one another…But I went ten months without hearing from that immature bastard and now he decided to write me? I was tempted to just tear the stupid letter apart and pretend that I never saw it…but I couldn't. Besides my stomach flipping out like crazy and my fingers feeling numb to the core, I was curious. What did my "best friend," Taichi Yagami, have to say to me? I looked behind me again to make sure no one was behind me, and I started to open the envelope. I pulled out the letter, unfolded it, and began to read._

Dear Yamato,

I know that I am probably writing in vain…again. But you know what they say: the 325th time is the charm! Ha ha! Ok, fine, poor humor on my part I guess… :(

So, what's been going on? I haven't heard from you since I told you Sora and I are going out. Are you ok? You're not dead are you? That would be really bad…

I heard that your grandmother died (Takeru) and I'm really sorry to hear that. How is it having your mom and Takeru over there with you? How is that Peter kid doing?

Well, I miss you and I hope that you come home in safety soon.

Love, forever(even though it's corny), your best friend,

Taichi.

_Empty words. That's all they were to me. No trace of interest, or excitement. Nothing. How hypocritical of him to say he's my best friend when he doesn't even care. And what does he mean "the 325th time?" I haven't gotten __any__ letters from him…I guess a small part of me still felt something because I still felt hurt reading the letter that meant absolutely nothing. How can someone go from loving and fighting for you, to ignoring and not caring anymore…and in just ten months? I started to feel miserable and a little depressed again._

_"Taichi," I growled and shut my eyes. Peter was right…about everything..._

_"What are you doing here?" I jumped and quickly turned around, holding the letter tightly against my back. My heart started pounding faster when I saw a tall red-haired figure, standing at the door way, beer bottle in one hand, and furious green eyes glaring right at my direction. Out of habit, I lowered my head, shrunk down a little and swallowed._

_"H-hi…Peter."_

_I heard Peter stumble into the room and close the door. I didn't want to look up at him. I was too scared to do so. I heard him stomp his way to me. With one hand he pinned me against the wall and with the other he grabbed my face. I clutched Taichi's latter harder from behind my back._

"_Where the hell did you go?" he hissed in my face. I turned slightly away from the odor of alcohol that came from his mouth. "Well? Answer me!" His grip around my face tightened._

"_I-I had to leave Peter," I whimpered. "My grandmother—"_

"_I don't care about that old bitch!" He shouted at me before slamming my head against the wall. "I _know _you were with someone else!"_

"_I wasn't! I promise!"_

"_Don't lie to me you idiot!" He slammed my head against the wall again, then let me crumple to the floor. I held my head with my right hand, trying to calm the pain I was feeling. I couldn't think straight because of the hard pounding in my brain. Before I knew it, Peter was lifting me up by my upper arms and making me face him. His eyes were red and flamed with anger. He growled something at me, but because of my pounding head, I didn't understand him._

"_What?" I asked. He shook me hard._

"_Where is the letter Yamato?" He pulled my left hand out from behind my back and snatched the letter away from me. He scanned the letter, then tore it up. He shouted curses both at me and Taichi. Once the paper was shredded, he was panting heavily. I thought that he had calmed down enough…so I broke the news to him._

"_Peter," I said quietly. "I'm…leaving with my mom and brother next week." He looked shocked, then it turned to anger._

"_What?"_

_"I'm going back to Japan."_

"_No, you're not." Peter finished off his beer._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_What do you _think_ I mean?" He threw the empty bottle at my direction. He was aiming for my head, but because of his drunkenness, I dodged it and it shattered against the wall. That angered Peter more and he started charging toward me. I countered him and started running for the door. He caught my right arm and pulled me back hard. A loud pop came from my shoulder and I lost my balance. As I fell toward the ground, the left side of my face hit the edge of his coffee table. I immediately felt the area around my eye split open and start to bleed. I curled into a ball, cradling my arm, but Peter turned me on my back and straddled over me. He slapped and punched my face and the upper half of my body._

"_Peter, stop!" I cried. He pinned my wrists above my head. The sharp movement caused severe pain to my right arm and shoulder. "It hurts! Ow!" He watched my tears fall down my face and heard my pitiful whimperes, but he didn't move from that position._

"_It's tough love, remember Yamy?" he muttered to me, before leaning forward to kiss me. "You should know that by now." He continued to kiss me, and eventually it became more and more passionate. He let go of my right hand, knowing I couldn't move it without hurting, and started to lift up my button-up shirt. He moved his mouth from my lips, to my neck and eventually my chest. I shut my eyes tightly when he started to suck on my soft, fleshy nipple. Once it hardened, he moved on to the next one._

"_You're so hot Yamy," he murmured. I whimpered softly as he drew his tongue over my body. Then he drew back and stroked my hair. "That's why I get so jealous when you're away. I guess I'm kind of selfish…I love you Yamato Ishida." I opened my eyes and looked into his. They felt sincere and…loving. I relaxed slightly and he kissed my forehead. "Do you love me?"_

"…_You know I do," I half lied. His changed form caring, to unconvinced. Then, a smirk slowly appeared on his face._

"_Prove it then," he said. He stood and pulled me up by my wrist. I let out a yelp of pain as he grabbed my right arm and led me to his bedroom. Peter shoved me inside and blocked the doorway. "Take your clothes off."_

"_H-huh?"_

"_You heard me. Get naked. I want to see and feel every inch of your bare skin against my own." He pulled his own shirt off and dropped it on the floor. He motioned me to follow his example, but I didn't move. "We _will_ do it tonight, Yamy. No more lame excuses. And we'll do it whether by your own will or by force…it's your call." The threat of rape hung heavily in the air and terrified me into submission. I bit my bottom lip and slowly, and unwillingly, started to unbutton my shirt. "…You know Yamy, depending on how well you make love with me tonight; I _may_ let you go in one piece to Japan. But if I'm not satisfied…"_

I will be forced to stay here and become your little sex-slave, _I thought darkly to myself. Once I reached halfway down my shirt I looked over at Peter. He had a hungry look in his eyes…and it was hungry for my flesh._

_This was going too far. Even for Peter's drunkenness. I had to get out. I had to. If I didn't, my virginity will be taken from me tonight. I cared about Peter, I really did…but he's not the one. Somewhere deep down, I _know_ it's not him. So what do I do now? I knew all too well that Peter is stronger than I am. He could easily break me in half if he wanted to…let alone rape me…but I don't _want_ to have sex with him. Even if it could give me the chance to leave in one piece, he's not the one. _What do I do?

"_Kick and run," Taichi's voice echoed in my head. For a whole year, I had no way of remembering the sound of his voice, but now it sounded clearer than ever. Almost as though he was standing right next to me. "I'd kick the little bastard in the balls and run like hell."_

"_You're taking too long Yamy," Peter slurred darkly. He started coming toward me. "Here, let me help."_

"_N-NO!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I kicked him between the legs as hard as I could with the flat part of my shoe. Peter screamed in pain and fell to the ground, clutching his sensitive area. I tried to make a run for it, but Peter grabbed my right ankle._

"_Yamato!" He snarled as I struggled to get loose. "Yamato, you go out that door and I will _not _be so merciful to you! You leave and there will be no forgiveness the next time I see you! And I _swear_ to you that I will find you _AND_ your precious Taichi and kill you both!"_

"_No!" I pulled harder away from him. Tears started to stream down my face again._

"_YES! And you know what I'll do? You know what I'm going to do to that little bastard? I'm going to find him and then gut him like a fish! Then I'll hang him by the neck like a Christmas ornament so all the town can see the bastard's lifeless body dangling in mid-air! Then, just for you, I'll set his corpse on fire and throw it at your house! Then you'll be next!"_

"_NO!" I screamed. I twisted and pulled my right foot in an awkward manor, but it was enough to be free of Peter's grip. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I booked-it to the door._

"_Yamy!" Peter shouted at me. "YAMATO!" I threw the door open and closed as he called to me again. I sprinted down five flights of stairs and out to the dark street. I ran and ran, afraid that Peter would soon be catching up to me._

_The street was quiet and desolate. Pale gold street lights illuminated the side walk and a cool summer breeze blew gently toward the west. Crickets chirped slowly and there was not a single cloud in the dark sky. It could have been a perfect summer night, had I not been running for my life._

_After sprinting for what seemed like five minutes straight, I passed by a bus stop. I slowed down, went back to the stop and collapsed on the bench. At that moment, pain multiplied and erupted through out m whole body. I didn't dare to move my right arm in fear that the pain coming from my shoulder would be too much to bare. I could feel my right ankle swelling up and throbbed against my shoe. My dried up cut had re-opened again from the running and now blood was blinding my vision. I slowly lowered myself to a laying position on the bench and cried silently to myself. I felt so low and dirty…_

_A low humming noise came from my left side. I slowly sat up and turned to it. Two head lights were quickly coming toward me, and I panicked. Surely Peter couldn't have recovered _that _fast! I jumped up and caused a jolt of pain to shoot out to every place in my body. I gritted my teeth and tried to run again. This time however, since I had allowed my brain to process the injuries I had received, it was unbearable to put any weight on my right leg. After a few failed attempts, I limped away as fast as I could._

"_Yamato!" a voice called as the car drove by. The car stopped a few feet away from the way I was limping. A dark figure jumped out of the car and ran over to me. I whimpered, turned around and hurried off the other direction. The person caught up to me and roughly grabbed my right shoulder. I screamed in pain and immediately stopped. I raised my left hand to cover my face, awaiting the blows that would surely come next._

"_Peter, please!" I begged. "Don't!"_

"_Peter? Yamato, it's me! Takeru!" I looked at the figure in front of me and realized that it was in fact my little brother. A sudden wave of relief over came my body._

"_Takeru…" I touched my brother's face and then fell to my knees, sobbing miserably. "Takeru…Takeru!"_

"_Yamato, what happened?" his voice sounded very concerned. I wanted to tell him everything at that point. Or at least explain myself. The only thing that could come out of my mouth however was his name. After a moment of me sobbing, Takeru touched the top of my head. I looked up at him, blurred with tears and blood. "Yama…come on. I'll take you to where Mom and I are staying." Takeru helped me up and led me to the taxi cab he had been riding in. Once we drove off, he handed me a few napkins and I started to clean myself up. I turned to look back at the street that was quickly disappearing from my view._

_It was over. The beatings. The pain. The fear. It was all over. In a week, I would be going back to Japan and be with my father. I wanted to believe that I wouldn't have to deal with Peter ever again…but there was a small part of me that still whispered, "He'll be back." The feeling quickly vanished once my eye lids started to grow heavy. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of freedom for the small moment I had._

_-O-O-O-O-_

_Baby, please come back  
It wasn't you, baby it was me  
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems  
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano  
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though  
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk  
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk  
I told you this is my fault  
Look me in the eyeball  
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall  
Next time. There won't be no next time  
I apologize even though I know its lies  
I'm tired of the games I just want her back  
I know I'm a liar  
If she ever tries to fucking leave again  
Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire  
I'm just gonna_

_[Chorus]_  
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
But that's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie

_-Love the Way You Lie, Eminem_

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If there are any questions about this chapter, please feel free to ask. Also, please give me some feed-back. I'd really appreciate it. No flames though, please. :)


	12. So Close

_**NOTE:** Time to see Taichi's response...mwa-ha-ha!_

_Holy fast update! Yeah. Now that my show is over and before my Thanksgiving break, I wanted to treat you all to a little something (especially since I will be leaving for my Thanksgiving break). :) I actually wrote this chapter a while ago...it was during a bad day that I wrote this. Since then, I came back and pretty much re-wrote the whole thing! ...Well, not really. I just added more to it and changed a few things (it went from three pages to five pages). Then there was the difficulty of finding the right song to fit the mood of the chapter...and actually, I do feel like this song works. If you just go listen to it and read the lyrics, you may see what I mean. :)_

_**WARNINGS:** Slash and language._

_**DISCLAIMER:** If I owned Digimon, the pairing of Sorato would be non-existant! I also do not own any of the songs in this story...at all..._

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**CHAPTER 11. So Close**

"And now you know the whole story," I concluded. I held myself tighter and didn't dare look into his eyes quite yet. "And now you know why I needed time to think things out." Taichi still didn't say anything. I glanced up and saw that he was staring at the ground. His face was expressionless and it worried me. "Please, Taichi…say something?" When he finally looked up at me, he looked angry.

"Well what do you _want_ me to say?" he said harshly. I shrank a little. "You want me to say that it's ok and there's nothing wrong with that? You want me to say that I'll keep waiting around forever?" I lowered my gaze to the floor again and tried to hold in tears that were about to fall. "You want me to lie to you like that? I can't do that Yamato! How…how could you let this happen to yourself Yamato?"

"Because I'm weak!" I spat at him. "I'm weak _and_ stupid ok? I deserved every single thing that happened to me! I shouldn't be complaining because it doesn't matter what happens to me!" _I'm crying now…shit._ I quickly stood and made my way to the door. I opened the door and stopped. "Peter was right…if I had told anyone…they would have agreed that it was my fault and leave me..." I looked back at him. His face was blank and I could feel my lip starting to quiver. I turned away and bolted out the door.

I didn't care where I was going; I just knew that I wanted to get away from Taichi. Large snowflakes blew fell gently down to earth and I gritted my teeth as more tears fell freely down my face. I am so weak! Why couldn't I stand strong like Taichi and brush this whole thing off? I _had_ to let it hurt me and get to me, and now here I was crying, _again,_ and screwing everything up. I slowed down to a walk once I felt I was far away enough. The whole place had a thick covering of new fallen snow and more flakes traveled downward to the ground. The wind blew gently to the north and shifted the destination of the snowflakes. Watching the large snow fall calmed the pain and misery in my heart enough so that I had stopped crying. I wandered around this new area I was in, soaking in the tranquility and solitude. Looking around me once again, I realized…that I had no clue where I was.

_Maybe I should turn back. _I thought to myself. I turned and started to follow my tracks but then stopped. _No. That would mean facing Taichi again._ I sighed and started to walk in the middle of the road. _Peter was right about everything. I should have kept my mouth shut…then maybe I still would have Taichi. Well, since I have managed to yet again screw everything up, what should I do now?_ I replayed the last scene in my head. _I should have known…I should have known… _I looked back up at the sky, forcing myself to not cry anymore and closed my eyes. Another wind blew, and I shivered as a few flakes landed on my face. A low humming noise came from a distance behind me. _Must be a car, _I thought and kept my eyes closed. _Once it get's closer I'll move out of the way._ The humming got louder and louder very quickly. _Is it supposed to be that loud by now?_ My eyes shot open when I could hear the car's engine roaring.

I turned and saw two bright lights speeding towards me. The loud machinery had disrupted my safe haven and now came charging down the street. It did not slow down, or honk for me to move. The car threatened to take away my life. _Run. _I froze. _Run!_ The engine echoed loudly in my ears as it continued to race toward the motionless pedestrian. _RUN! _The driver and passengers were probably drunk. Too drunk to stop or take notice. That right there gave me another reason to hate alcohol. _DAMMIT YAMATO! RUN!_ I did the exact opposite and stood still. I shut my eyes tightly and waited. _RUN!_

A force knocked me down. I expected severe pain at that moment and the car's metal, cold snow and hard asphalt to scrape and cut my skin. Instead I landed on something a little softer than cement and it let out loud grunt. I heard the car speed away and the engine noise was cut off in a matter of seconds. I opened my eyes and saw that Taichi was under me. He was panting and had his arms tightly around me. I immediately tried to get off of him, but he had a strong grip. Just showing once again how weak I am… Feeling like it was useless to get away, I buried my face in his chest.

"Let me go," I whimpered. He slowly sat us up but still held me close to him.

"No," he simply said. I clutched his shirt and closed my eyes again.

"Please, Taichi…I don't…" We sat there in silence for a long time. Snow continually made its way to the ground, not missing a beat even with the near-death accident. _Near-death…_ I shivered at the thought and due to the cold ground we were kneeling on. Taichi pulled me closer and started to rub my back. My throat tightened and I pushed away slightly so that I could see his face. He looked concerned and I could feel my heart sink. "Why are you doing this? I thought you were angry with me."

"I'm not mad at you Yama," he said. "I mean…I was mad, but not at you."

"Why?" I asked quietly lowering my gaze from his. I could feel him tense up a little.

"Because…I don't understand how someone would—" Taichi paused and let out a loud sigh of frustration. I prepared myself for the new storm of angry words that could possibly come. "I don't understand how someone would _dare_ hurt you like that." I looked up at him and now he was the one looking at the ground. "To lie to you like that…to hurt you…and to just completely destroy you. It makes me want to go and rip out his jugular!" I smiled slightly as his nose scrunched up in anger. He looked up at me once again. My smile vanished when I saw the look of complete helplessness on his face.

A cold wind blew against my back and I shivered again before Taichi started to rub my back again. He was trying desperately trying to warm me up, but felt as though he was failing. Once he heard my teeth chattering, he pulled me into a tight hug and held my head so that it was buried on the side of his neck. I stayed like that for a moment before I hugged him back.

Taichi had a faint smell of apples and cinnamon on his skin, which is due to the fact that the smell was his mother's favorite odor. So of course, the whole house hold would smell like apples and cinnamon. I shivered and closed my eyes while inhaling his scent again. I was grateful for Taichi's warmth...and apples and cinnamon. Taichi turned his face to my ear. "You didn't deserve any of that Yamato…"

"Yes I did," I murmured as I opened my eyes again. He pulled me back so that I would look into his eyes. My teeth chattered immediately from the withdrawal of his warmth.

"No you didn't," Taichi's voice was stern, but not harsh. "No body does and especially not you." He examined my face for a moment before he rested his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry if you thought I was mad at you. I just…wish I could have known sooner so that…I wouldn't have been so…well you know?" I didn't say anything. "I'm sorry Yamato. Please, forgive me?"

"…yeah," I whispered. "I-I'm s-sorry too Taichi…"

"You shouldn't be sorry silly. It's not your fault." I opened my mouth to protest, but he stopped me by kissing the top of my head. I blushed as he looked at me and smiled shyly. He smiled back. "You…still want me to keep you company tonight?" I thought for a moment, and then decided that I really didn't want to be alone tonight.

"Of course."

**oXoXoXo**

Taichi and I talked about Peter during our walk back to my place and while we drank hot chocolate. He would ask questions and I would answer, depending whether I felt comfortable to do so or not. Shortly afterwards, we talked about a variety of topics. Some were serious, some were light, and most were so bizarre that we would have to back track our conversation to see how we got on that subject on the first place. We would laugh long and hard together while talking about old memories of the digital world, odd experiences of what happened to us, and random fads that we had fallen victim to.

Taichi really isn't the headstrong, airhead people think he is. He has feelings and ideas of his own. He told me what had happened to him once he had found out I had left, how he cried for nights on ends and spiraled quickly downward. He also told me how he desperately tried to fix things but felt like it was no used. I felt guilty while he told me his experience while I was gone, but he must have noticed my face and kissed my hand, reassuring me that he was fine now.

It was about two thirty in the morning by the time we had grown exhausted and decided to go to bed. He changed in my room while I changed in the bathroom. I walked back into my room where Taichi was looking at my guitar. He wore some loose gym shorts and a large grey t-shirt. The radio alarm clock was clicked on and was playing soft relaxing music. He moved his attention from the guitar to me and he smiled.

"So this is the guitar that you're dad gave you for your birthday a while back?" he asked.

"Yep," I said moving closer to him.

"How come you don't play it for the band?"

"Because…" I hesitated whether to tell him or not. After telling Taichi everything about Peter, there didn't seem to be anymore reason to hide from him. "One time, I played the guitar for Peter. He said I had a nice voice but that my guitar playing sucked. He told me to stick with singing."

"…Well screw him," Taichi yawned. "Because you play the guitar beautifully." I smiled and nudged him playfully. He gave me aside hug. "Well…I guess I should let you get some sleep then." He started making his way to the couch in the other room. I panicked a little. I didn't want to be by myself. Especially with what had just happened. "I'll see you—" I grabbed his hand and stopped him. He looked back at me with a mixture of confusion and surprise. I swallowed.

"Taichi," I said quietly. "Can you…just sleep in here with me tonight?" I could tell he was looking for some sort of sign from me that would make him want to say no.

"…Sure Yama," he finally said. "But where am I supposed to sleep?" I looked around my room trying to think of a place. Then I looked at my bed.

"You could…share the bed with me," I muttered. "If you don't mind." He examined me again to make sure I meant what I was saying. "I just…don't really want to be alone tonight."

"…Ok. I don't mind," he said. I sighed and laid myself down on the side of the bed that was against the wall. He laid next to me and looked at our hands that were still together. I closed my eyes as he started to rub my hand with his thumb. _This feels nice…_ "Can I ask you something? About Peter?"

"Hmm?" I answered lazily.

"…did you love him?" I opened my eyes.

"What?" His soft brown eyes locked onto my blue eyes.

"Did you love Peter?" I thought about it for a moment. I remembered the first time I met Peter and how charming he was. I remembered when we both told each other about our sexualities and our past. How he was there to comfort me when Taichi wrote me that letter about dating Sora. Then I remembered once he asked me to be his boyfriend things started to change.

"I think I did at first," I muttered. He waited for me to continue, hurt in his eyes. I squeezed his hand gently. "But, in the end…I don't think that control is love." I smiled at him but he still looked serious. I frowned. "Are you still thinking about what he said to you? About what _I_ said?" He dropped his gaze to our hands. I sighed quietly and closed my eyes again. _Taichi thinks I play the guitar beautifully. Hmm, that makes me happy that he thinks so…I'm surprised that he remembered that my dad gave me that guitar for my birthday though. He tends to forget details quickly. I wonder what he got for his— _My eyes snapped open and I sat up.

"Yamato? What's wrong?" I looked down at him sadly.

"I…never did give you a birthday present…" I said. _How could I have forgotten…AGAIN! _"I'm sorry." Taichi smiled and gently pulled me down again.

"You apologize too much," he chuckled. He caressed my face gently. "Just being with you Yama…that's enough for me." I shivered slightly as his hand then slid down my side and around my waist. Hesitantly, I wrapped my arm around his torso and moved myself closer to him. The radio chimed into a new song, "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin, shortly after…

_You're in my arms  
And all the world is calm  
The music playing on for only two  
So close together  
And when I'm with you  
So close to feeling alive_

For the first time in a very long while, I felt safe. Taichi really cared about me…It felt real. Maybe Peter was wrong…yes. He was definitely wrong. Why would someone who didn't give a shit about you save you from getting hit by a car? Or stand by your side through thick and thin? Or hold you like this and made you feel safe? Yes, Peter was definitely wrong. Taichi loved me.

_A life goes by  
Romantic dreams will stop  
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew  
So close was waiting, waiting here with you  
And now forever I know  
All that I wanted to hold you  
So close_

"Happy birthday Taichi," I sighed as I buried my face into his shoulder. Taichi pulled me even closer to him.

"Thanks Yamato," he whispered. "I love you." I closed my eyes and listened as to him hum the song quietly to me. I inhaled his smell. The faint smell of apples and cinnamon lingered on his skin. I smiled as he then shifted and I felt his biceps flex.

_So close to reaching that famous happy end  
Almost believing this was not pretend  
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come  
So far we are so close_

_Careful Yamato._ I warned myself. _You might end up falling for him again._ The song broke into its instrumental and I heard Taichi sigh. I looked up at him and gave him a questioning look.

"You know Yama," he smiled sadly. "It's…_really_ hard not to…kiss you right now…" I blinked a few times. It made me happy that he was respecting my request concerning kissing. He wasn't going to ruin our trust by going in and satisfying his own desires to kiss me…_But_ _I don't think I'd actually mind it though…_

"What's stopping you then?" I asked, playfully tilting my face toward his. "I'm here…"

_How could I face the faceless days  
If I should lose you now?_

Taichi looked at me dumbfounded, but then smiled. He moved his face closer to mine and I closed the distance between our lips. This kiss felt like our first kiss. Gentle, sweet and perfect. Once he pulled away we gazed into each other's eyes. Blue in brown, and brown in blue. Taichi smiled, kissed the tip of my nose, and then held me close to him. I smiled and listen to his breath slowly even out and deepen.

_We're so close  
To reaching that famous happy end  
And almost believing this was not pretend  
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_

_So close_

I can't really say how I felt about Taichi…I was too excited and happy to think logically. I felt like I could trust him with my emotions. I always feel happy when I am around him. And now I felt safe while he held on to me. Any thoughts of Peter or my past didn't seem to matter when I was with him…

Is this what love is? I feel like I've been avoiding love so much that I can barely recognize it. Is it feeling like your heart is about to explode from sheer happiness? Knowing that someone is close next to you and won't ever let you fall? Being with someone who is willing to forgive you no matter how big the mistakes you make are? ...Wanting to spend the rest of your time and life with that one person? It must be love…or at least something close to it. That is how I felt right now, lying next to him. It felt like that everything will be alright…and just like Taichi had said earlier, just being with him was enough for me tonight.

_So close  
And still so far_

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Moral of the chapter is: Having patience eventually pays off. :)

_So what do you think? Do you love it? Do you hate it? Do you think the meaning of life is cheese? Let me know what you think. Any type of feed-back is appreciated and helpful. Flames however, are mean and will be used to roast weenies._

_Happy hollidays! :D_


	13. Cat and Mouse

_**NOTE:** Another chapter, coming up! This chapter was difficult to write! I knew the basic idea of what was going to happen...the problem was just getting to the point. I re-wrote this chapter about three times before I was satisfied with how it turned out. _

_**EDIT: **__Ok, so I changed the name of this chapter because the day AFTER I posted it, I found the perfect song for the chapter. I feel like it is much stronger than the song I used before (Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse) and it was going to bug me if I didn't change it._

_**WARNINGS:** Slash, language and ANGST! This chapter is one of the sad ones..._

_**DISCLAIMER:** "If I Owned Digimon." By Psycho Weasel. If I owned Digimon, there would be no such thing as Sorato, the original Digidestineds would still be able to kick Diaboromon's ass, and Tai would still own his own goggles. The end. Moral of the story: I do not own Digimon._

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**CHAPTER 12. Cat and Mouse**

The dream I had that night was darker and more vivid than ever before. I dreamed that Taichi and Peter were caught in a sword fight. Taichi had the upper hand at first, but then Peter slashed across Taichi's belly and he keeled over. Peter raised his sword above his head, to finish the kill. I cried out Taichi's name but he couldn't hear me.

My eyes snapped open and I sat up in bed. It took me a moment for my vision to adjust and to realize that I was alone in my room. I looked around, wondering where Taichi might have gone, but then sighed and laid back down on my right side. I was about to go back to sleep when I felt something sticky between my fingers. I looked down and saw my hand laying in a small pool of red liquid. I panicked and immediately the dream flashed back into my mind.

"TAICHI!" I jumped out of bed and hurried out the door. I threw it open and started looking around for anymore blood. Instead I saw Taichi standing in the kitchen. He was holding a spatula in one hand and a frying pan in the other. He stared at me curiously, then placed the kitchen utensils down and walked over to me.

"Yama, you ok?" he asked. I blinked a few times and then I looked at my fingers. He also looked down and took my hand. A nervous chuckle escaped his lips. "Ah, I see you found the ketchup I spilled on your bed. I was about to go back in and clean it up but I risked burning breakfast."

_Ketchup?_ I questioned as he offered the dish rag draped on his shoulder. I took it and wiped my fingers clean. _Stupid Yamato, you over reacted again._ I sighed and hugged Taichi tightly. He hugged me back and kissed the top of my head. The feeling of warmth came once again as I melted in his arms.

"Bad dream or something?" He murmured into my hair.

"Or something," I replied. Taichi pulled back slightly and smiled at me.

"Hungry?" he asked. I nodded and he led me to the table. He picked up the frying pan and spatula and dished out the yellow omelet on a plate before handing it to me. "It probably won't be as good as your cooking, but it was the only thing I could make with knowing that I wouldn't burn it." He blushed and sat on the left side of me. I smiled gratefully at him and started to eat.

"Mmm, I can't remember eating an omelet this good Taichi," I commented. It was true. I wasn't usually a big fan of eggs, but for him, I was willing to make an exception. Taichi sighed with relief and then held on to my free hand. He continued to watch me eat and rubbed my hand with his thumb. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"I already had something. Hence the ketchup stain on your bed," he replied. I stared at him curiously as I chewed slowly. "Don't worry Yama, I'm still eating." He kissed my hand. I studied him carefully before concentrating back on my meal.

Things felt like they were going great, but for how long? It only seemed as though it would be a matter of time before something happened to us. As though on cue, a loud noise erupted from my room. We both perked up like a couple of meerkats, before we realized it was only my cell phone ringing. Taichi patted my hand and stood to retrieve my phone. I finished off the delicious breakfast that was prepared for me as he returned into the room.

"Unknown number," he said as he handed my cell phone to me. I stared at the phone hesitantly then sighed.

"It's probably my dad checking up on me," I said, partly trying to reassure myself. I looked at Taichi, who had gone back to holding my hand. Finally, I pressed the green button. "Hello?"

"Yamy, we have to talk," a strained voice spoke. Everything froze. Taichi gave me a curious look once a squeezed his hand harder. "Yamato, are you listening to me? I said we have to talk."

"…about what? Peter?" I whispered. Taichi immediately went into defensive mode. He leaned forward and looked ready to beat the life out of anyone who would challenge him. He also tightened his grip around my hand.

"Yamy…what is it going to take to show you how sorry I am and how much I miss you?" I didn't answer him. He continued on. "I've…I've been trying _so_ hard to get over you but…I can't. You were the closest thing I had, ever in my life. You remember my family?" He chuckled nervously. "My mom died when I was little, and my father was drunk and abusive. That's how I learned to love, Yamato. 'Tough love.' I thought that was the only way to love and that's how I showed you love. But…now, I realize that it's not just tough love. You made me see differently, and…I just…I just wish I could have seen that while you were here…so then, I could have treated you differently." His words touched me. Either with guilt or true compassion, I couldn't tell. Just like I couldn't tell if he was lying to me or not. "I want to see you again Yamy…I'm _going_ to see you again."

"W-what?" I gasped. Taichi started to shift around in his seat, wanting to know what is going on. "W-why? So…you can kill me?"

"No! Yamy! I told you! I was drunk that night, and I always say things like that."

"Right…'Tough love…'And that's why you're coming here then, right?"

"The _hell_ he's coming here!" Taichi hissed. He leaned forward, took the cell phone out of my hand and placed it in his ear. "Listen punk, leave Yamato alone! He doesn't want anything to do with you." Pause. "Yeah, it's me. Taichi Yagami. You know, Yamato's _best friend…_or should I say, 'the immature bastard?'" Taichi's face turned a shade darker of red as he listened to Peter's response. "Well…no I didn't ask him for myself if he felt that way, but—" Pause. "Well how the hell would _you_ know then?" Pause…then Taichi smirked. "You really want to know why I'm with Yamato right now. I'll tell you why. We slept together last night."

"T-Taichi!" I panicked. "Don't! You'll piss him off!"

"You heard me," Taichi winked at me. I could hear Peter starting up a storm of angry words. Taichi's face then changed from pride to fear. "Kill me?"

"…no…" I whispered. Taichi looked down at the table, listening to what must have been Peter's detailed plan for his murder. I was squeezing Taichi's hand so hard, I felt like my fingers were going numb. I didn't care though. Taichi's face turned serious as he straightened up in his chair.

"Go a head then Peter," he challenged. "Come and hunt me down like a terrified fox."

"No…" I whimpered quietly.

"Slit my throat open. Bash my head against the cement. Chop me into a million pieces so that it would take years to identify me. I'm not afraid to die. Especially not to you."

"Taichi…"

"Peter, you don't scare me. In fact, I'll welcome you when you come to kill me and I won't protest. But get this straight: I will _not_ let you get any where near my Yamato. He doesn't need a jerk like you to come in and control his every move. You've done nothing but hurt him and now because of you, he's terrified to do anything. Even love somebody new. Someone better for him."

"Taichi…"

"I'm going to stand by Yamato's side until he tells me to leave him. And even _then,_ he might have to make me leave. I will stand strong between you and him because I don't want to see him hurt anymore. I admit that I hurt him too, but I've learned from that. I know now that he is precious to me and I don't want to lose him again. I care more about him than my own damn life."

"No!"

"So, come on and kill me! You're all bark and no bite, Peter! That's why I'm _daring_ you to come here and kill me. And like I said, I'll welcome you with open arms…But when I die, it won't be because of you. It will be because I love Yamato and am willing to die for him. Have you ever felt that way? No, probably not because you're a selfish little prick who cares too much about _himself_. Do you want to know who is the _real_ 'immature bastard,' Peter? _You are! _Come and kill me, bastard! COME AND KILL ME!"

"TAICHI, NO!" I yanked the phone out of Taichi's hand and ran into my room. "Peter? Peter, he didn't—"

"Yamato, don't say anything!" he snarled.

"How can—"

"Just don't!"

"No! How can I _not_ say something when you were threatening to kill my—" I covered my mouth, stopping myself from finishing what I was about to say.

"'My _what,' _Yamato?" Peter hissed. I didn't reply. I was in a slight shock to the sudden power and emotion I had felt. Where did it come from? A few minutes ago, I felt terrified to know that I was speaking with Peter… "Were you going to say, 'my Taichi?'" I slowly nodded my head, though I knew he couldn't see me. "…Y-you…you love Taichi, don't you Yamato?"

"I…I don't know…" My response seemed fake to me and I was starting to feel very confused. For the past few months, I had been sure that I was not ready for a relationship and that I didn't know if Taichi was the right one. But now there seemed to be a flame that was burning inside of me, and it burned for…well, Taichi.

"Uh-huh…Well, tell you what Yamy," he said. I growled at the nickname. "I've decided that I am going to visit you next month."

"Next month?"

"To the dot: February 22nd. If you get rid of that little bastard completely, and I mean completely away from you…I won't kill him." I slumped to the floor, feeling slightly miserable and pulled my knees close to my chest. "But that is only _if_ you get rid of him. I don't want to see him the day I come. If you do that, I'll leave him alone. But if you don't…then bad things will happen…to the both of you…Got it?" This seemed illogical to me. I had told Peter that I didn't want anything to do with him, but he wouldn't listen to me. Now, he was threatening Taichi's life just so he could be with me. Maybe just to spite him, I should not do what he said. But if I didn't…Taichi would die…It wasn't fair. Why couldn't life just let me be in peace for once? "Got it, Yamato?"

"Yes," I muttered. "I got it." An icy silence followed.

"One month," he reminded. "That's it. I'll see you then."

"I'll be here."

"…Yamato…"

"What?"

"…I love you." I covered my face at the remark. For some reason, that made me feel angry. "See you."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and looked at Taichi, who had been standing in the door way. We stared at one another. He had a worried look on his face and I tried to smile at him. "Taichi…" I frowned and my heart sank at my sudden realization…

"Yamato, what happened?" Taichi quickly darted to me and held my face. "You look pale." I touched his left hand and stared deep into his eyes. I thought to myself carefully about the words I was about to say.

"Taichi," I started. "You…would never lie to me…right?"

"Right."

"You promise? You promise me…right now?"

"Yes." He didn't even have to think about it. There was no doubt in his voice at all. I looked down at the ground for a moment and bit my bottom lip. Then I looked back into his dark caramel eyes.

"Taichi…do you love me?" Taichi gave me a curious look.

"Yes," he replied. The leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I love you Yamato." _Taichi…you're making it harder for me. _I shut my eyes and pulled his hands away from me. I struggled with myself to continue on. I wanted to stop, but I knew…I knew that I had to go on…if I wanted to save him.

"Taichi…leave."

"W-what?"

"You heard me," I opened my eyes and gave him a challenging look. "Leave. Right now."

"A-alright, Yama," he was a bit taken back, but he smiled nervously. "I'll call you later to check up on—"

"No," I interrupted. "Don't call me. Don't come and visit me. Don't come near me…ever again." His smile vanished immediately and I looked away. I didn't want to see the hurt and shock on his face.

"W-why? Yamato? What happened just barely?"

"It doesn't matter Taichi."

"Did he threaten you? Yamato, I'm not afraid of him killing me. I don't care about—"

"Don't say you don't care about your life, dammit!" I glared at him and hissed. "You may not care, but I do! You're my best friend and I don't want to see you lying in a pool of your own blood, gasping for air and to lose the light in your eyes!" He looked confused at my harsh words. I calmed down slightly and sighed. "I've…I've made up my mind Taichi. This is what I want." The look I wanted to avoid shone now clearer than the morning sky. I forced the next words to come out. "I'm not good for you. I'm weak and you are strong. The only thing I do to you is make you venerable. Our relationship would only consist of you giving and me taking. I don't want that Taichi…that's why I'm asking you to leave." I waited for his response. He swallowed hard and I could see his eyes starting to fog up. I hugged my knees tighter to me, trying to contain myself.

"No," he whispered. Now I was the one who was taken back as determination washed across his face. "I won't leave. Not while Peter is still trying to control you. Yamato, I'm not going to let him over power you and hurt you any longer. I would rather die than just stand by and just watch you suffer like this. Yamato, I meant ever word that I told him, and I mean every word right now." I stared at him a moment longer then looked down. I had expected him to put up a good argument, but not as well as this. He was making it so hard for me to keep going. I cringed at the new tactic that popped into my mind. It was one that Peter would use against me constantly. I hated it and I hated it even more now that I knew it was the only way to get Taichi to leave me.

"Taichi," I sighed. I couldn't look at him. If I did, I knew that I would back down. For once, just once, I had to stay strong. Even though it would hurt like hell. "If you really loved me, you would leave. For good." That did it. Silence hung darkly in the air.

"Yamato…" he whispered. "No…"

"No?" I growled harshly. "That's your answer then huh? So you lied to me. You're a liar Taichi."

"No! Yamato, please…"

"That's what you are. If you're a liar, then there should be no reason why I should believe you. Ever."

"This isn't fair Yamato…"

"Life is not fair Taichi! So make up your mind: Either you love me and will do what I say, or you lied to me and therefore lied about loving me." I glared at the ground and hated those words that had come out of my mouth. Taichi didn't move from that spot. I finally sighed and stood up. I started making my way to the door, but Taichi caught my arm. I stood still but didn't look at him.

"Ok," he whispered. "You win. I'll leave." I lowered my head and walked over to sit on my bed. He gathered his stuff and looked at me once more. I turned away and he walked to the door. He was about to close it, but he paused. Time stood still and I was wishing he would just leave already.

"Yamato," he choked. "I love you. You know I do and I wish you won't have me do this to prove it to you. I…I don't know what happened, but…I want you to know that I will always be here for you. I always have been there for you…even when I wasn't physically present. I'm always here…and if you don't believe that I've been here all along…just turn around...you'll find me." He closed the door half way. "Just turn around…" He took a deep breath and then closed the door completely. I listened carefully as he made his way to the door, opened it and closed it. I was now alone.

"Taichi," I buried my face into my pillow and started to cry. "I-I had to p-protect you! I h-had to!" I gritted my teeth as I remembered the pain in his face. "I'm s-sorry Taichi! I'm sorry!" I cried for an hour. Pathetic I know…but it hurt so much to have lost him like this. For ever. I sniffled miserably at the realization I had made earlier; the one that caused me to force him away from me.

I loved Taichi. There is no question about it anymore. For months, I guess I had been trying to avoid this feeling. I would subconsciously compare him to Peter by always thinking that he would hurt me and then leave me alone by myself. But Taichi wasn't going to. Not unless I asked him to and even then, I had to force him. He was committed to stay.

Maybe that's what I wasn't ready for…I wasn't ready to fully commit to him like he was ready to commit to me. That's why I would run. That's why I left. I realized something now however. After spending most of my time with Mimi during my freshman year, going on that date with Sora and being in a relationship with Peter…Taichi is the only person I really want to be with.

_And now, we can't be together,_ I sighed and buried my face back into the pillow. I felt too tired to cry any longer. My eye lids felt heavy and I slowly started to slip in and out of consciousness. _I'm sorry Taichi…I hope you can forgive me someday for hurting you like that…_Before I blacked out, the burnet's last words echoed in my ear.

"_...and if you don't believe I've been here all along…just turn around…just turn around…"_

_-X-X-X-X-_

_We made plans to grow old  
Believe me there was truth in all those stories that I told  
Lost in a simple game, cat and mouse, to me the same  
People as before this came to light?_

Am I supposed to be happy?  
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price  
Am I supposed to be happy?  
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price

You said, you said that you would die for me

You must live for me too...

_-Cat and Mouse, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_

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Matt is such a complex character...not gonna lie..._

_FORE SHADOWING ALERT! (It's in the chapter) ;)_

_Tell me what you think! Do you love it? Do you hate it? Do you wish you had a shot gun to kill Peter? :P Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. Flames, however, are highly discouraged and will be used to roast weenies. Thank you to all who take the time to read this story, and all those who review! You all keep the story going. :)_


	14. I Turn Around

_**NOTE:** Another update so soon? Wha? Yup. I had writer's block on the last chapter and now that I have gotten over that speed bump, I can get through the story easier. Speaking of the last chapter, I changed the song and name of the chapter. Why? Because the day AFTER I post it, I found the perfect song. So I went back and changed it because I knew that it would bug me if I didn't. Anyways...here is the next chapter to my story, "Patience."_

_**WARNINGS:** Slash, and language. And uh...I'd hate to break it to you, but this story will be over in a few more chapters. You know, just a warning._

_**DISCLAIMER:** I am sad to say that I do not own Digimon..._

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CHAPTER 13. I Turn Around

_**One Month Later…**_

This was it: my last day of life and freedom. I knew that after tonight, I would be nothing more than a memory to everyone around me. I wish I could have spent the day letting everyone know how much they meant to me and how grateful I was that they were a part of my life. Unfortunately, my dad ran off to work without giving me a chance to say anything, Takeru was out with my mom, my friends were all out watching the school's soccer semi-final game, and Taichi…he's done what I had asked and has kept out of my life.

The only thing I had left today was the "War of the Bands" competition. At my band members would know how much they had meant to me…that is, if I ever had the chance to tell them. We had arrived at the competition building at six 'o clock, since the competition started at eight, and had been practicing our songs and signing up. We also had to continually avoid the paparazzi and reporters, still trying to dig up any information about _The Teenage Wolves_ sexuality (Hayato and Shino were accused of being "secret lovers" and there was a large article of my "break-up" with my mysterious person). All the attention had started to stress me out and so I called the band to a room where I kept the band until we had to perform. Around ten thirty, it was finally our turn to perform…and it was horrible.

_The Teenage Wolves_ followed me as I stormed off the stage and headed to the room that was reserved for us during the competition. On the way, I tore down one of the poster, advertising the "War of the Bands," that was hung on the wall and started ripping it to shreds. Not only did the poster have the time, day and location of the competition, it had a large picture of me and another "attractive" band leader. They wanted to attract young teenagers to come and placed them all over town. There was no way Peter could miss it. Once inside the room, I threw the poster in the trash and took out my guitar to strum out my frustration.

"Yamato, what's wrong?" Masaru asked, closing the door behind him.

"That was horrible!" I growled as I tuned my guitar and then started playing simple exercises.

"Are you on drugs, Ishida?" Anneke scoffed. "We were great! The crowd loved us and the judges looked like they were enjoying it."

"Yeah, I mean, looking at Mr. Yalo's face, he would have to be crazy not to like that number," Shino beamed.

"That's the problem!" I played a G chord a little harder than I should have. "We weren't focused! We were all gawking at the crowd and the judges and so we didn't pay attention to what we were playing. Hayato, your tempo was slow to start off with. Masaru, the notes are 'A B A A,' not 'A B A B.' Anneke, you're _still_ sharp on that last note. Shino—"

"Holy shit Yamato! Shut the hell up!" Anneke snapped. "You're nit-picking over the _stupidest _things!"

"Well, I wouldn't be nit-picking if you would just get the damn note right!"

"Yamato, we are all trying our best to play the music right!"

"Obviously not hard enough!"

"What the hell is your problem? Did something happen with you and Taichi?"

"Shut up, Anneke!"

"Is that it? Because the only time you get so wound up is when you and your _boyfriend_ are having issues!"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"So what happened, Yamato? Did Taichi run off with another man and left you all alone?"

"SHUT UP ANNEKE!" I stood up and stared her down. I could feel myself shaking with rage and I was trying to hold back any wrong emotions that might spill out. "You don't know what's going on between Taichi and me! You don't know why I'm not letting him get near me! You don't know how much it hurts like hell to tell the person you love to get our of your life just so you can protect them from your jealous ex who won't leave you the hell alone. You don't know what it's like to know that today you're going to die! You don't know Anneke! You don't! SO JUST SHUT UP!" I was breathing heavier and Anneke was staring at me in shock. I looked at the rest of the band, and they were equally as stunned. I sighed and slumped down to the floor, my guitar still strapped around me. We didn't say anything for the longest time.

"Y-Yamato," Masaru said quietly. I looked up at him. "We…we had no idea…" I stared at him.

"It's not your fault," I muttered. We were all silent again.

"Yamato, what is going on?" Masaru asked. I looked at all of them, sighed and then told them. I told them about Peter and how he was abuse, not in complete detail however. I told them about Taichi and how he was waiting for me to heal. I told them about how Peter and Taichi found out about one another and while Taichi swore to protect me, Peter swore to kill Taichi and so that caused me to push Taichi away. Once I finished, the band stood in silence.

_…Maybe I shouldn't have told them all of that. I felt embarrassed to have been so open to them, and so I stood and started heading for the door. Masaru caught my shoulder and stopped me however. When I turned to look at him, he looked very concerned. "I'm sorry Yamato…" I smiled back and patted his hand._

"Don't worry about it," I said. I frowned and turned to look at the rest of the band. "I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass guys. You guys are the best band a person could ever have."

"Aw shucks Yamato," Shino choked out. "Thanks."

"Yamato, if you would have told us, we would have understood," Hayato said. "Just like your sexuality. We could have helped you or try to find away to keep both of you guys safe." I smiled at them, and then turned to Anneke. She continued to stare at me.

"I'm sorry Anneke," I muttered. She sniffed and turned her head away from me. There was a soft knock at the door and then the stage manager let herself in.

"_Teenage Wolves?_" she asked. I nodded. "Your band and another are tied for first place. You have two minutes to prepare a new song to perform for the judges."

"What?" I was confused.

"How can we be tied?" Shino asked.

"Takahiro said it would be all or nothing," Masaru said. The stage manager shrugged.

"I'm guessing the judges couldn't decide on a first place, and so they are going to have a final round between the two bands," she said looking down at her clipboard. "You guys will be up against _Break Fast_." She turned to leave.

"Let me guess," Anneke called after her. "Mr. Yalo is the judge that wouldn't completely vote for us?" The stage manager paused slightly, nodded, and then closed the door behind her.

"Good grief," Hayato growled in frustration. "Won't he _ever_ admit that we are a great band, even through our sexualities?"

"Not unless we come out and tell the truth," Anneke said.

"Anneke! Don't you dare!" Masaru warned his cousin.

"Why not?" she gave her cousin a challenging look. "We're only hurting ourselves and our reputations by keeping hush-hush."

"Anneke, we're a band!" Shino protested. "A team! A…family! We have to look out for one another, come what may."

"Besides," Hayato added. "If we go out there and announce it to everyone that Yamato is gay, we'll be overwhelmed with reporters and they tear us apart even worse."

"Guys," I cut in. They fell silent. "It's ok. Let her tell them."

"But Yamato…" Shino started. I shook my head.

"I'm not going to force you to not tell anyone Anneke. It's your choice and if you feel like that it's best for the band, then that's alright." She stared at me blankly.

"I'm…going to tell them the truth," she murmured. I nodded and looked at the rest of the band.

"I think we should play 'I Turn Around' for our song," I said to them. I leaned my guitar against the wall and opened the door. "Come on guys." The boys slowly followed me and we waited for our cue to be on.

"First up for the 'final attack,'" the announcer boomed from the speakers. "We have, _The Teenage Wolves!_" Eruptions of shrieks filled the entire room as we walked out onto the stage. The girls in the front row were jumping up and down frantically, and were trying to reach up to the stage to touch us. The sight made me laugh, which resulted in more screaming. I walked up to the microphone, but Anneke met me there and handed me my guitar.

"You're going to need this Yamato," she shouted over the fan girls. I became confused as she took the microphone from the stand. "Hey guys." More cheers and Anneke smiled. Then she frowned and sighed. "Well, as most of you all probably know, _The Teenage Wolves_ have been getting a lot of press concerning the sexuality of our lead singer, Yamato Ishida. For the most part, we have avoided the question completely, but now I have come to tell you the truth." The crowd fell slightly quieter. "Yamato Ishida…" I closed my eyes, waiting for her to break the news. "…is not gay. I am."

"What?" The band and I echoed together. The crowd was quiet.

"That is the truth. I am a lesbian and am attractive to girls. Mr. Yalo, I ask you…no…I _beg_ you now, to please give these boys a chance. I will not play with them, but only if you promise to give them an unbiased chance. Thanks guys, and enjoy _The Teenage Wolves._" The crowd was quiet while Anneke place the microphone back into the stand. Then someone started to clap. The clapping picked up faster and faster, and soon everyone was cheering loudly once again. Anneke bowed and then gestured to us. Before she walked off stage, I caught her arm.

"Anneke, what are we going to do with out you?" I asked. "We need a guitarist." Anneke looked down at my guitar then at me.

"Like I said, 'you're going to need this,'" she smiled. "Good luck Yamato." She patted my face, then walked off the stage. She gave up her reputation to save the bands'. I watched her leave, then stared at the rest of the band. They were just as shocked as I was. I turned to face the crowd and then walked up to the microphone.

"Hey there," I said into the mic. The girls went wild. I smiled nervously and slipped the guitar strap over my head. "Well…we are _The Teenage Wolves_ and we will be singing an original song to you called, 'I Turn Around.'" I turned to see if the band was ready. Masaru held up a finger to motion he needed to tune up. I nodded then turned back to the crowd. "While the rest of the band tunes up, I'll just…tell you a little about the song. This song was written by me, lyrics and music and…well…" I paused and closed my eyes. Taichi's face came into my mind and I sighed. "…it's about a boy and a girl who are in love with each other. The girl doesn't realize it though and tries to push her boy away. The boy, however, is stubborn and won't give her up…not with out a fight." I opened my eyes and looked out the crowd, wishing I could see Taichi's face. "The girl starts to realize that he does care and that she should appreciate the time they have together. She also knows that if she ever needs him…all she needs to do is turn around." I looked back at Masaru as a loud "aw" came from the crowd. He gave me a thumbs up and I returned the thumbs up. "'I Turn Around,' by _The Teenage Wolves._"

Hayato started playing and we all joined him. It caught me off guard how different it was from just singing to singing _and _playing an instrument. I felt very nervous as I played the notes on the guitar. A loud, "WE LOVE YOU YAMATO!" made me laugh and relax a bit. Finally, it came time for me to sing.

_You've got a boy, you've got a girl,  
Sitting' underneath a tree.  
They sit there everyday.  
And e__ven though, you may think,_

_This is the way that things should be,  
It may not always be that way._________

You can't take nothin' for granted,  
You've gotta live like today.

_I turn around and__ I can see what's behind me,  
I turn back around and I can see what ahead.  
And if you don't believe I've been here all along,  
Just turn around.  
Just turn around._

The crowd was screaming on the top of their lungs as we hit an instrumental part. I stole a glance at the judges, which went against what I was scolding the rest of the band for earlier. Takahiro was bobbing his head to the beat of the song, while Mrs. Gull grinned from ear to ear. Mr. Yalo sat with his arms folded across his chest. I smiled and started the next verse.__________

You wanna get you gotta give  
There is no other way to be  
So give it a try  
If what I say is really so,

_You got to let somebody see  
You cant just keep it inside_________

You can't take nothin' for granted,  
You've gotta live like today.

_I turn around and __I can see what's behind me,  
I turn back around and I can see what ahead.  
And if you don't believe I've been here all along,  
Just turn around.  
Just turn around.  
_

_Guitar solo,_ I thought grimly as Hayato and the others played my cue. I swallowed and then plunged into the solo. I concentrated hard on the music and that caused me to drown out the sudden outburst of screams. As I started to the end of the solo, I looked down at the front row of people and saw him.

Taichi was standing in front of me. He was sheepishly smiling at me and gave me a thumbs up. My heart soared higher than the volume of the room we were in. I grinned so wide that it started to hurt. I played the final note and dived into the repeated chours.

_You can't take nothin' for granted,  
You've gotta live like today._

_I turn around and __I can see what's behind me,  
I turn back around and I can see what ahead.  
And if you don't believe I've been here all along,  
Just turn around.  
Just turn around._________

I turn around and I can see what's behind me,  
I turn back around and I can see what ahead.  
And if you don't believe I've been here all along,  
Just turn around.  
Just turn around.

Once we ended the song, the crowd went crazier than before. I looked down at Taichi and smiled at him. He smiled back and mouthed, "Good job." I nodded, waved to the crowd, and then walked off stage with the rest of the band. Anneke was waiting for us in the room. She smiled at us.

"You guys sounded amazing," Anneke said weakly. She gave her cousin a hug and high fived the other two. When she saw me, she simply stared.

"…well!" Hayato broke the silence. "I'm thirsty! I'm going to run to the store next door and buy some drinks. Masaru, want to come?"

"S-sure Hayato," Masaru replied. They hurried off. I looked at Shino who was nervously shifting from foot to foot.

"I'm…gonna go check out _Break Fast,_" he finally said. "I'll see if they're any good." Once he left, I looked back at Anneke. She bowed her head.

"I'm sorry Yamato," she apologized. "It was the only way you guys would get a chance."

"No need to apologize Anneke," I smiled and patted her shoulder. She looked up at me as I placed my guitar back in its case. "I'm just sorry that you were the one who had to do it…you know, say you were gay."

"It's ok," she laughed. "I was planning on coming out before I moved." I looked up at her in shock. She blushed. "…Yeah…I wasn't fibbing Yamato. I really am a lesbian…" I blinked a few times and sat down on the closest chair. She laughed even harder. "Surprise surprise, huh?" Then her face became more serious. "I've been jealous of you Yamato. You have a nice face that the girls all drool over. They swarm around you like bees swarm around honey. I mean…even the other boys have got their own fans. Me? Not so much. When this whole gay thing started up, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to chase the girls away from you. But…after just barely…" She shook her head and sighed. "You're too nice Yamato…even to me. The biggest bitch in the world."

"You're not the…_biggest_ bitch," I said, thinking about Mimi when she gets angry. "Maybe a close runner up…"

"There you go again," Anneke laughed. "Being so nice to me. Even though I might have ruined you and the band's name." I shrugged then remembered something she said.

"You're moving?" I asked.

"Yeah, at the end of March," she nodded. "I kind of figured that I could rough out a few criticisms till then. Just as long as the band could succeed." I smiled at Anneke.

"All this time I thought you really hated me."

"Oh, I did at first. But then I got over it and just became jealous. Maybe even started to like you a little."

"Oh? What happened to 'being destined to not like each other'?"

"Ha ha! Well, destiny can change…" Anneke sighed. "You're a real sweetheart Yamato. It's no wonder Taichi fell in love with you." My heart sank a little and I looked at the floor. "…you really love him don't you?"

"…yeah…"

"…well then, dammit, go find him!"

"I can't," I shook my head.

"Yamato, you heard Hayato earlier. We'll watch over you. We can figure out a way to get you and Taichi away from…'Pablo' or what ever and you won't have to worry anymore." I chuckled and shook my head again.

"I'm doing this for Taichi…for his life. He doesn't care what happens to him as long as I'm safe from _Peter_. Besides…he's stronger with out me anyways. I just get in the way and make him more venerable."

"…well, regarding to your 'doesn't care what happens to him' comment…aren't you doing the same thing but with _your _life?" The realization hit me at that point and she merely smiled and nodded. I opened my mouth to say something, but Shino walked into the room.

"Judges say that they will announce the winner in a few minutes," he said. "If they call us for first place and we don't go to claim it, the other team will get the prized." I looked back at Anneke and then stood to pat Shino's back.

"Well, then let's make a conscious effort to be there when they call our name," I grinned.

"YAMATO!" We all jumped as Masaru and Hayato came sprinting into the room. "Yamato!"

"What's the matter Masaru?" I asked. Masaru pointed toward the outside.

"It's…Peter!" he panted. I panicked at the name. Masaru looked at me with fear in his eyes, and from what I heard next, I knew why. "P-Peter…He's after Taichi! I think…I think he's going to kill him!"

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_"I Turn Around" is Yamato's song in the second season of Digimon and is sung by Michael Reisz. I own nothing._

_Alright, look: When I say, "no flames" I don't mean don't give me constructive criticism. I always want to know how I can do better with my writing because I know I'm not perfect (Besides, I'm an actress and we crave to hear what we can do better for next time). If there are parts that you like from my story, that's great and I'd be happy to hear you say what you liked! Please, don't hesitate to tell me what you think. However...if you send a "review" tell me I suck, my writing sucks, and I should stop writing, then _that_ is a flame. If you really do think that stuff...tough luck._

_Let me know what you think of this chapter! Constructive criticism= Yes, please. Positive feedback= Yes, please. Flames/bashing of pairings= No, thank you._


	15. Face Down: Untitled

_**NOTE:** I finished writing this chapter at two in the morning...I hope there aren't any mistakes. I feel like this may be the climax of the story...most likely...yes...anyway._

_I'm kind of freaking out because THERE IS ONLY TWO MORE CHAPTERS (including the epilogue) BEFORE THIS STORY IS OVER! D: I have some other ideas brewing in the back of my mind for more stories...but it's just so weird knowing that this little series is coming to a close! ...actually, I may add one more that will be a one-shot...but we'll see..._

_**WARNINGS:** Slash and language. Also...it gets kind of intense at one part..._

_**DISCLAIMER:** If I owned Digimon, Sorato would be non-existant and Tai would still have his goggles._

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**CHAPTER 14. Face Down**

"Taichi!" I yelled out again. My voice was carried away with the strong wind blowing from the west. I looked around trying to figure out where they might have run off to. I felt guilty for having to leave my band…but they understood…not so much as the fact that I was putting my own life in danger, but more of how much Taichi meant to me. They said that second place would suit them just fine.

I shivered and folded my arms across my chest. The wind was blowing from every direction, as though it was taunting me with which direction to take next. "TAICHI!" No response. I started off into a run, which gradually became a sprint as I decided to follow the lonesome street. I felt so helpless and alone.

My heart was pounding hard against my chest. Not only because I was sprinting up and down every street located near the theater, but because Peter was after Taichi. I knew that if I didn't find him soon, something very bad would happen. I wouldn't allow myself to think of the things that Peter was capable of and kept my focus on trying to find the person I loved. I pushed myself harder to keep running as I turned into an alley way. I stopped.

It was as I had feared. Peter had Taichi pushed up against the wall. He had a firm grip on Taichi's neck and the other hand was holding him in place. Both of Taichi's hands were desperately trying to pull him off of him, but it was all in vain. The more he exhaled, the harder Peter pushed down on my love's neck. Dark caramel eyes flickered around the alley in desperation and then landed on me. My heart cried in pain as I saw the fading light in Taichi's eyes.

"NO!" I screamed as I raced over to Peter's side. I tried to pull Peter's hand away from Taichi, but he was stronger than I was. "PETER PLEASE!"

"Stay out of this Yamato," Peter hissed and I felt him push down harder. I started crying as I heard miserable gasps come from Taichi.

"YOU'RE HURTING HIM! YOU'RE HURTING HIM!" I pulled and tugged on his arm as much as I could. Taichi dropped his right hand and lifted it to touch me. Peter saw that and he slammed Taichi's head the brick wall. He cringed in pain and then dropped the other hand to his side. Taichi was losing his strength. If I didn't do something fast…he would die. The thought brought me to cry even harder and led me into desperation. "I'LL DO ANYTHING!" Peter's eyes flickered at my direction. "I'LL DO WHAT YOU TELL ME TO DO! JUST PLEASE STOP HURTING TAICHI!" Peter turned his head to me and studied me carefully. I buried my face into his arm and whimpered for him to let go. Finally, I felt Peter drop his arm, which followed a loud gasp for air and coughing.

"Taichi!" I immediately threw myself onto Taichi and sobbed miserably. He continued to gasp and cough for air and I held him tightly to me. I then buried my face in his neck and kissed it. "Taichi, I—"

"Let's go Yamato," Peter growled. He lifted me up by my forearm and pulled me away from Taichi. I obeyed and followed him like the submissive, weak dog that I was. I took one last look at Taichi. He was still on the ground, but he watched as he lost the thing he was trying to protect this whole time. I continued to cry as Peter led me away from the alley and to some other location. He led me down a few blocks and into another alleyway. He stopped and placed me in front of him. I sniffled as he held my face and started to lean forward to kiss me.

"Don't," I whimpered as I pulled my face away from him. He pulled my face back into place.

"Funny," he whispered. "I could have sworn you said that you would do anything, just as long as I didn't hurt your little bastard." I whimpered again as I allowed him to kiss me fully on the lips. I felt hunger and passion in him as he moved his lips against mine. His tongue entered forcefully into my mouth and he roamed through the familiar place. Peter broke the kiss and moved his mouth down and started to suck and nibble down on my neck. I tensed up once I felt a sharp pain on my neck, then fell limp in his arms. I didn't know what else to do; besides submit to him…Peter sighed in defeat and pulled away from me. "Why are you crying?" I bit my bottom lip, trying to calm myself down enough to speak.

"You…y-you were hurting him," I sniffled. "You…c-c-could have killed him…You s-said you w-wouldn't hurt h-him if I g-got rid of h-him."

"It didn't seem like you got rid of him," Peter grumbled as he shoved his hands into his coat pocket. "And I didn't _kill_ him now, did I?" I shook my head and Peter huffed. As he glared off to his right, I took a good long look at him.

Peter had changed physically since the last time I had seen him a year ago. His hair had grown out and he had a go-tee now. He was wearing a thick coat, so I couldn't tell if he was still extremely thin or not. His height seemed the same, but then again Peter had always been taller than me. The only thing that didn't seem to change was his red hair and emerald green eyes.

"Yamy, please stop crying," he muttered when he heard me sniffle. "You look and sound pathetic." I glared at him. That comment made me feel angry.

"Is that what I am to you?" I growled and wiped my eyes. "Pathetic? A sniveling little cry baby?"

"That's not what I meant," he said, a little surprised of my sudden hostility.

"Should I take your word on that?" I challenged as more tears fell down my face. "Because recently, I can never tell if you're lying to me or not."

"What is wrong with you Yamato?"

"_Me?_ There is absolutely _nothing _wrong with me! You know, besides the fact that I'm weak, stupid and pathetic!"

"Yamato, _stop_." I saw Peter start to clench his jaw, a gesture he would usually do when he was trying to control his anger. _I'm pissing him off…good… _At this point, I didn't care what happened to me.

"Why should I stop, Peter? You'd tell me over and over how stupid I am. When you hit me, you'd show me how weak I was. Now, you're telling me I'm pathetic because I'm crying. I can't do anything right with you Peter. Do you want to know why I'm crying? I'm crying because my psycho ex won't leave me alone and wants to kill the only person I love!"

Peter drew back his hand and slapped me across the face. I was shocked at first, but then anger washed over me as I gently placed a hand on my stinging cheek. Peter hadn't changed at all. He is still possessive and jealous. How could he honestly believe that after all we've been through, I'd come crawling back to him? For so long, he would abuse me because of his jealousy and I would simply stay quiet and allow him to hurt me. But I didn't want to stay quiet anymore.

"_I…hate…you!" _I growled. More tears came down my face, but now these tears were of a years worth of bottled up pain. Peter looked shocked at my harsh words. "How…can you hurt someone you _love_ Peter? Love is supposed to be a beautiful thing, but all I've received from you is anger and fear. All I've ever wanted in my life was to truly feel loved…to feel wanted, and the only time I've ever felt anything close to that is with Taichi. That is the truth, Peter, and I can't run away from it forever!" I was breathing harder from my rage and Peter stared at me. I noticed a slight look of helplessness on his face. It almost seemed like he was finally starting to understand me…I sighed and calmed myself down. "I…I love Taichi, Peter…If you love me, like you say you do, then let me be with him…Love…is selfless…it's allowing the other person to be happy, even if it's not with you."

Peter stared thoughtfully at the ground, hands in his pockets, and then looked up at me. He had a strange look on his face and it scared me a little. He moved closer to me and I pulled back.

"Can I at _least_ hug you?" he asked. I felt uneasy about his request. He took his left hand out of his jacket and gestured to me to hug him. I studied his body language carefully, and then reluctantly hugged him. He wrapped both of his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. Something didn't seem right…It felt…_too_ easy. When nothing happened, I started to relax a little more. I felt relieved because this would soon be over. In time, this experience would become nothing but a horrible nightmare that I can barely remember anymore. Taichi and I could be together in peace at—

A sharp pain shot out from my back and I let out a yell. I clutched Peter's coat and gritted my teeth.

"Yamato," he whispered deathly into my ear. He pulled what I assumed to be the knife and simply kissed my hair. "If I can't have you…_no one _else can." He shoved in the blade once again between my shoulders. I yelled in pain and pushed away from him as he pulled out the blade again. It was a small, silver switchblade and it had red on its tip. The stab wounds on my back were throbbing and I could feel the blood spilling down from them. I let out woeful noises and sobs and tried desperately to free myself from his grasp. Peter simply stabbed me again on my left shoulder and then the center of my chest.

_I'm going to die,_ I cried in my mind as he stabbed me once again on the chest. _Yamato Ishida, if you do not run, he _will_ kill you right here!_ I kicked Peter's shin as hard as I could a couple of times. He growled in pain and clutched his shin. At that moment, I seized the opportunity and ran. I ran out of the alley way and started running down the road toward the direction Peter had led me from.

The wounds on my body were becoming unbearable. I only ran for a minute or so before I slipped on the icy road and fell to my knees in agony. Breathing was starting to become difficult and with every step that I had taken, I could feel the blood ooze out from my wounds. I clutched my aching chest and panted heavily. My fingers were quickly covered in the warm sticky liquid. I looked down and saw my blood on y palm.

"No," I barely whispered. It hurt to talk and I was still crying terribly. "Please…please no…" The wind blew down hard against my back and I let out a yelp of pain. Why had I been so stupid to allow Peter to get that close to me? I tried to stand up again, but instead I was seized from behind by two strong arms. One arm was wrapped against my belly and the other arm had my mouth covered.

"Come now Yamy," Peter hissed in my ear. I tried screaming and struggling out of his grip. I was rewarded with a sharp pain form my side, which must have been another stabbing. I let out a muffled whimper. "Come on, we have to go find some quiet place where no one will find us." He started dragging me back toward the alley. "This way, no one will be able to interrupt." I tried planting my feet into the road, but because of the ice, I was unsuccessful.

_This can't be happening,_ I whimpered to myself as the distance between us and the alley was starting to shorten. _What else could go wrong?_ The wind blew strongly to my left and I looked at that direction. A large semi-truck was quickly approaching us from behind Peter. I tried to warn Peter of the large truck, but he ignored me and continued to drag me to my death.

At this point there were two options: either be dragged to the alley where I would be repeatedly stabbed by a person too selfish to let me go, or have a large metal machinery end, hopefully, both of our lives. One way or another, there would be a slim chance of me walking out of this alive…I tried to make myself as heavy as possible and tried to sit down on the ground. Peter grunted in frustration as he tried to keep me up. _I won't let _you_ kill me Peter. I will die by my own will._

"YAMATO!" a voice called out to me. My head jerked up and I saw Taichi sprinting down the sidewalk toward us. "Yamato! Hold on! I'm coming!" A high screech came from the truck's brakes, but I knew that they wouldn't stand a chance against the icy road. The truck blew its' horn at both of us in the road. Peter paid no heed to it and I let out more miserable sounds, knowing what Taichi would soon witness. _I have to tell him I love him!_ I elbowed Peter in the gut and he hunched over. I pulled his hand down from my mouth.

"TAICHI!" I shouted at him. Another loud blast from the horn. I could see the light from the headlights shining down on us. I saw Taichi sprinting down faster to us. Peter hugged me tightly from behind. "TAICHI—!"

_**BLACK OUT.**_

_Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found_

Face down in the dirt she said, "This doesn't hurt"  
She said, "I finally had enough"  
Face down in the dirt she said, "This doesn't hurt"  
She said, "I finally had enough"

_-Face Down, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_

**oXoXoXo**

Untitled, Simple Plan

_I hate the fucking hospital. Nothing good has ever come to me when that hellish place comes into my life. First, Hikari was taken there for getting pneumonia. Because of me. Then she once again is taken there due to a late detection of appendicitis. Because of me. And now, I sat in the waiting room of the white walled asylum, staring at my hands. They were stained with blood…Yamato's blood. The only person I ever truly fell in love with was now in the hospital fighting for his life. Because of me._

"_Taichi?" I didn't look up at Hikari as she touched my shoulder and sat next to me. "Taichi, everything is going to be ok. Don't worry." I bowed my head and clutched my fists tight together. I wanted to tell my little sister that everything was not going to be ok. That if it hadn't been for me being a total ass, then Yamato probably would have been celebrating his second placing with his band. That if anything happened to him…to my Yamato…_

_-O-O-O-O-_

_**"YAMATO!" I screamed and stopped dead in my tracks. The left corner of the large truck hit Peter full on his back and so affected Yamato. Their bodies went flying through the air in different directions. While Peter landed hard onto the corner of the sidewalk, Yamato simply flew forward a couple of feet face first. The truck was losing control as it tried to avoid the people in the road; however, it ran over Yamato's left leg with both the front and back wheels before screeching to a stop and tipping over on its passenger side. Yamato laid on the ground motionless.**_

_**"Y-YAMA!" I sprinted over to his side. I turned him over and held him up. Blood was oozing out from his chest, shoulder and nostrils. His eyes were closed and he was limp in my arms. "Yama? Yama? Yamato! Wake up! Please!" I held him closer to me and buried my face in his hair. "Please! **_**Please!**_**"**_

_**"You're…too l-late…bastard!" I glared over at Peter who was breathing heavily only a few feet away from us. A switchblade was sticking out from the area of his chest where his heart was and he was smirking at me. "He's dead."**_

_**"Shut up!" I spat at him. "He's not dead!" Peter laughed at my remark.**_

_**"You've…lost," he snickered. "Yamato…w-will…never be yours…He will always be mine. **_**Always!**_**"**_

_**"Go to hell Peter!" I hissed.**_

_**"…See you there, bastard," Peter smirked. He let out a gasp and then didn't move. I continued to glare at the dead body before I felt something gently touch my face. I looked down and saw Yamato looking up at me. Pain was in his eyes, but he still managed to smile at me.**_

_**"Tai…chi…" he gasped. I held the hand that was slowly sliding down my face.**_

_**"I'm here Yamato," I whispered. The truck driver hurried over to us.**_

_**"I just called the ambulance and police," he said, overwhelmed to what had just happened. "They're on their way right now! I'm so sorry! I couldn't stop because of the ice! I honked at them but…oh shit, I'm so sorry!" He walked back to his truck muttering "oh shit" under his breath. Part of me wanted to hate the driver for what had happened, but I knew it wasn't his entire fault.**_

_**I turned my attention back to Yamato. He stared off into the sky and couldn't seem to focus on one point. His blood was starting to seep through my clothing and his breaths were becoming shallower. I started panicking. He's going to die!**_

"_**Yamato!" I ordered and moved his face to look at me. "Yamato, look at me!" It took him a moment for his eyes to focus on me. "Listen to me Yamato! Hang in there! They're coming to save you!"**_

"_**Tai…" Yamato whispered before closing his eyes. I shook him and he opened them again.**_

"_**Don't you **_**dare**_** leave me right now Yamato!" I whimpered. "Don't you **_**dare!**_** Stay strong…Stay strong!" I kissed his forehead and held him tightly. "I love you Yamato! I love you!"**_

_-O-O-O-O-_

**-Everybody's screaming**  
**I try to make a sound but no one hears me-**

_My head snapped up when I heard the emergency room door open. The doctor came out and started talking to the secretary. I stood and made my way to him. I felt like time was slowing down as my legs sluggishly moved to the doctor that had Yamato's life in his hands. Everything disappeared once I finally reached him. He turned and jumped at the fact that I was so close to him, but I didn't care._

"_Let me see him," I ordered darkly._

"_Are you a family member of Yamato Ishida?" he asked._

"_No. I'm his best friend. Let me see him," I ordered again._

"_I'm sorry, but you can't do that right now."_

"_Let me see him!"_

"_He's in surgery right now, you can't go in."_

"_LET ME SEE HIM DAMMIT!"_

"_Taichi! Calm down!" I felt Hikari try to pull me away from my grip on the doctor's shirt, but I didn't budge. I had to see Yamato. I _had_ to._

**-I'm slipping off the edge**  
**I'm hanging by a thread**  
**I wanna start this over again-**

"_Let me see him!"_

"_Boy, let go of my shirt!"_

"_Let me see him then! _Please_!"_

"_I'm sorry, but you cannot!"_

"_You don't understand! I have to see him! It's really important!"_

**-So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered-**

"_How important then, boy?" He growled, quickly losing his patience with me. "How badly are you willing to see him?" I calmed down when he asked me that question. I started to wonder what the most effective way to show this older, pissed off man how much Yamato really mattered to me. I slowly let go of his shirt and lowered myself to the floor._

_"Taichi?" Hikari questioned as I knelt on the floor._

"_Please," I begged as I lowered my head. "Let me see him…" _I love him,_ I added in my head as I tried to hold back the tears that were starting to form. I tightened my fist to stop myself from letting out the tears. The doctor didn't do anything for a moment, and I really thought that he had a change of heart. But then…_

"_Call security," the doctor mumbled to the secretary. My head snapped up at his face and furry immediately flooded through my veins._

"_I just showed you how much this means to me and you're calling security on me?" The tears that were forming in my eyes were now falling with rage. I stood up once again to face the doctor. "What kind of doctor are you! You're a shitty doctor if _this_ is how you treat your patient's _loved ones!_"_

**-And I can't explain what happened**  
**And I can't erase the things that I've done**  
**No I can't-**

"_Taichi!" Hikari called again. "Please, calm down!"_

"_Why don't you listen to the young lady," the doctor growled while trying to pry my bloody hands off of him._

"_Why don't _you_ listen to me when I tell you that I _have_ to see Yamato!"_

"_Doctor Higa!" A nurse came running out of the emergency room in hysteria. The doctor pushed my hands off of him and brushed the red stains off his shirt the best he could. I immediately felt sick. The look on her face did not seem like she had good news to share at all. _

No...please no..._I held my breath...praying that it was something good. Hoping that Yamato wasn't...surely life couldn't be so cruel. After taking him away from me for a year, and then again for a month..._

**-How could this happen to me**  
**I made my mistakes**  
**Got no where to run**  
**The night goes on**  
**As I'm fading away**  
**I'm sick of this life**  
**I just wanna scream-**

_"Doctor Higa! The patient has died!"_

**-How could this happen to me...-**  
**_  
_**


	16. Incomplete

**_NOTE:_**_ School is over for Christmas now! Yay! I spent most of yesterday and today writing this chapter...I hope you guys like it. I feel like I could have done a lot more to this chapter, but I kind of had struggles with this chapter since the start (as in since I was planning it out in my mind). I'll most likely post the final "chapter"/epilogue in a couple of days, but after that, this story will be over. :P_

_As for the song for this chapter, I really think it fits Tai and Matt's feelings after the month of being seperated. Go look it up! It's a good song!_

**_WARNINGS:_**_ Hmm...same old same old. Slash and language._

**_DISCLAIMER:_**_ I don't own Digimon...sadly enough. Nor do I own the song I used for this chapter._

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CHAPTER 15. Incomplete

It's cold…and dark. I can't see or remember much of anything. A faint image of Taichi's face appears in my mind and I can hear Peter's voice. I faintly hear myself trying to tell Taichi that I love him…but darkness over powers me. I'm lost in the black world.

Suddenly, there is warmth in the darkness. I would get short, quick flashes of it, but slowly, the warmth became stronger and gradually longer. It would always start at the same place as well: my hands. Slowly, it would then move up to the rest of my body. Finally, the warmth grew stronger than ever and didn't go away. I could feel a sort of power return to me and I slowly open my eyes. I notice a loud beeping noise.

_…Am I dead? _I question, while I stared up at the white ceiling and listened to the rhythmic beeping. _Is this…heaven? _Fear settled into the pit of my stomach at the thought. I know that my initial plan was to die…but I didn't want to be dead yet. What about my family? My friends? Taichi? I hadn't thought of all of them before…I wish I could remember what happened more clearly, but everything was a blur…I realized at that point that I was lying down and so I tried to sit up. Pain ran through my body immediately and I let out a hiss. _Why am I still hurting if I'm dead? _I looked around me and saw large machines with tubes and wires running all over the place. Most of them were hooked up to me. My left leg was elevated above me and bandaged up. My back and chest ached and it hurt to breathe. I couldn't think of a place in my body that didn't hurt.

I felt something shift down near my hand and I looked at that direction. A mess of brown hair was stirring slightly and then turned their face to me. _Taichi?_ I felt confused to why he was in heaven as well…or hell…either way._ What is he…oh no…he must have been killed too! _I tried to sit up again, but the pain in my chest wouldn't allow me to sit up from my bed. _…wait…a bed?_ Taichi blinked a few times before his eyes widened.

"Y-Yamato…" he gasped. He looked…terrible. Dark bags were under his eyes and were slightly red. His skin was pale and it seemed like he hadn't eaten in a while. "You're awake…" I felt guilty for seeing him this way. I tried sitting up once more.

"Where am I?" I slurred. Then more urgently I added, "Where's Peter?" Taichi stood and stopped me from moving once he saw the pain on my face. "Taichi?"

"It's ok Yamato," he murmured. "Don't worry about it…its over." I was confused to what he meant and he simply gave me a comforting smile.

"…you mean…?" Taichi nodded slowly. It felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my chest, and also a twang of guilt. Peter was dead…

"I…I have to call the doctor now," Taichi said. He didn't move for a moment, but then hesitantly made his way to the door. He would continue to look back at me as though I would blow away in the wind if he didn't stay close. With one last look, he exited the door.

Doctor. Machines. Wires…it was slowly starting to make sense in my head. I wasn't dead. I was in the hospital. I touched my chest gently and felt bandages under the thin hospital gown. I closed my eyes and the images of Peter's calm but dangerous face came into my mind. The memory of him stabbing me in various places flashed vividly in my mind. Peter tried to kill me…and all because he wasn't willing to let me go and be happy without him.

Why am I still alive though? That made no sense to me. I mean…I wasn't necessarily complaining…but I knew there was a close chance that I would not have made through all of that alive. Yet here I was, lying in the hospital. How is it that Peter is dead and I'm not? I received knife wounds and I'm sure that I was knocked out pretty hard by the truck…why am I alive?

At that moment, the doctor, another young male and Taichi walked into the room. It took me a minute to realize that the two other people were Jyou and his father, Dr. Kiddo. Taichi looked at them, then to me, and then back to them. He had a strange hunter look in his eyes. It was like he was daring them to do something.

"Well, welcome back Mr. Ishida," Dr. Kiddo grinned. He held a clip board in his hand and was about to start writing on it, but he stopped and looked at his son. "Jyou, why don't you check his wounds while I take a look at the monitor?" Jyou looked at me nervously. I heard Taichi let out a low growl like noise as Jyou started to come near me. "So Yamato, how are you feeling today?"

"Confused," I answered honestly. Jyou looked at my face and touched the scar on my left eye. "And _sore_!" He had poked my eye hard.

"Oh, sorry, that must have already been there," Jyou said nervously. Taichi at that moment immediately stood behind Jyou. The poor blue-haired boy gulped nervously and started to sit the bed up enough so that I was no longer lying down, but also not to hurt my leg.

"Well, that's to be expected after what you've gone through," Dr. Kiddo chuckled as he clicked his pen a couple of times and started to jot a few things down. Jyou leaned me forward and checked my back.

"Dad, I think we should probably change his bandages soon," Jyou said as he slowly peeled off part of the bandage on my back. I yelped when I felt his rubber gloved fingers slightly pass over the wound.

"Watch it Jyou!" Taichi snapped.

"Sorry Taichi," Jyou apologized. He placed the bandage back and reclined the bed back down slightly.

"Dr. Kiddo?" I murmured as Jyou started to check my chest and shoulder. "…what happened to me?" Dr. Kiddo looked up at me but stayed quiet. "Why am I still alive? I should be—OW!" Jyou had pushed down on my shoulder wound too hard.

"I'm sorry Yamato!" Jyou said quickly.

"Dammit Jyou!" Taichi shouted at the nervous doctor-to-be. "You hurt him again and I will beat the shit out of you!"

"Taichi, I'm trying to be as careful as I can!"

"Try harder!"

"Well maybe if you weren't breathing down my neck, I wouldn't be so nervous! Besides, I'm not the one who almost—"

"_Don't_ say it, Jyou! Don't you _dare_ say it!" Taichi grabbed Jyou by the shirt collar and shook him.

"Taichi! Jyou!" Dr. Kiddo barked. My mind was so confused to what was going on. The doctor pulled the two boys away from each other and then started to drag Taichi to the door.

"Taichi," I whimpered. I didn't want him to leave. Taichi looked back at me before he was led outside of the room. "Taichi!"

"It's ok Yamato," Jyou sighed. "Don't worry about him. He'll be back."

"Taichi…" I whispered again. Jyou quietly continued his examination by checking my side. "…it's my fault…that he had to leave."

"Huh? No, it's not. Taichi is just—"

"Peter made me do it…I didn't want to. I wanted to stay with Taichi forever. He…he made me feel safe. Then I had to get rid of him by hurting him…" I sighed miserably. "I should be dead…I don't know why I didn't."

"Yamato…you _did_ die," Jyou said quietly. My heart lurched forward at the news and my eyes widened. Jyou stopped working and simply stared at my leg. "You had lost a lot of blood and hit your head pretty hard against the road from the truck's impact. For five minutes…you were gone completely." Jyou paused and smiled slightly. "Taichi went crazy once he found out. I didn't see it, but my dad said it was quite a sight. Just imagine a seventeen year old boy bawling his eyes out in front of various people and having to be dragged out by authorities. Poor guy…" Jyou looked up at me and his smile vanished. "Sorry…I just thought it was weird that Taichi would…well anyways…obviously, you came back to us. My dad found out what was going on and decided to take your case over. Once Taichi found out you were still alive, he didn't want anyone else to get near you, at all. The only exception was my dad who convinced him that he wasn't going to hurt you."

"Why? What happened to make him snap like this?" Jyou stayed quiet for a moment then shrugged.

"Not really sure…my dad says its either 'guilt or stress over the fact that he almost lost his best friend.' He hated to leave your side for any reason…" It was starting to become a little overwhelming for me. Jyou smiled at me and patted my head.

"Don't worry Yamato," he repeated. "He'll be back. I think my dad is probably just trying to calm him down." Dr. Kiddo then opened the door.

"Jyou, are you finished?" he asked.

"Yes," he answered. "Besides dressing his wounds again, Yamato is healing just fine, Dad."

"Well that is good news," Dr. Kiddo sighed in relief. "Do you mind letting me talk with Yamato for a moment? You could go check on the patient in room 203."

"Sure thing Dad," Jyou nodded. He smiled at me then patted my head. "Welcome back Yamato." Then he made his way out the room while Dr. Kiddo entered and stood by my bed. Once Jyou closed the door, Dr. Kiddo looked at me fully.

"…I died?" I barely whispered.

"I see Jyou told you the news already," Dr. Kiddo said. "Yes. You were dead for five minutes. That was until your heart beat started up again. Once we got your body functioning again, you wouldn't wake up. You have been in a comma for about four days now. You gave us quite a scare." He paused. "Yamato, were you attacked?" I blinked a few times before he continued on. "There was another body in the scene of the accident and he had a blade sticking out of him. The wound looked similar to yours. The police don't recognize him or anything and he doesn't seem to have any records here. Now, you don't have to tell me but it would help the police a great deal if we at least knew the name of the other person."

"Yeah…ok," I sighed. "His name was Peter Klein. He is an American I met when I went to the United States for boarding school. He's two years older than me…which would make him eighteen. His mother died and his father abandoned him in the streets when he was only ten years old." I looked down slightly from the doctor's eyes. "He…we were also in a relationship before I left. He was really abusive and possessive over me. He didn't like me spending too much time with my grandmother, or talk to other guys, or even talk about Taichi at all. He'd do things to me to make sure that I would stay with him, and I did because—"

"Yamato!" Dr. Kiddo placed a hand on my arm. I looked up at him with my blurred vision. I was tearing up from the memories of him. It took Dr. Kiddo a moment before he said anything. "Look…I'm just a medical doctor. Not a psychiatrist." I looked down and blushed. "…but from the looks of it, I think you may need one." My head snapped back up to face him.

"I'm not crazy!" I defended myself.

"Yamato, if you have a psychiatrist it doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy. It's just someone you can go to and talk about anything that is bothering you. It could be something as big as drug addiction to self-esteem problems. I'd be happy to set you up an appointment if you'd like. I'm just telling you this Yamato because I think it might help you to emotionally heal from not only from the shock of this accident, but also from any thing else."

I was quiet for a moment, trying to think of an excuse to get out of going to a shrink. I couldn't think of a good one however and I suddenly realized that I didn't have a way to get my feelings out. Anything that was bothering me, I usually kept it to myself. True that Mimi found out about me liking Taichi and he found out about Peter, but that was it. I never really opened up to anyone ever before…and maybe the doctor was right. Maybe that would help me heal from all of this shit happening to me…I slowly nodded and he smiled.

"Alright then," Dr. Kiddo patted my arm. "I'll go set that up." Dr. Kiddo smiled at me. "Everything will be ok Yamato. Don't worry." He squeezed my arm comfortingly and then made his way to the door. When he opened it, he found Taichi standing in the door way. His brown eyes looked up at the doctor, then to me. After the doctor allowed him to enter, he quickly went to my left side and pulled up the chair that he must have been sitting in earlier. He held my hand tightly and I held on to him just as tight. Dr. Kiddo smiled at me. "You're very luck Yamato. _Very_ lucky." He excused himself and then closed the door behind him. It was just Taichi and I left. I looked up at Taichi.

"You…ok?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Are you ok?" I nodded and continued to look at him. We had been separated for about a month…I would have thought that now that Peter was gone and that we were together again, things would feel like they could go back to normal. But I knew they never could…

Things felt different and unreal. I didn't feel confident in myself or anyone else really…I wanted Taichi to be with me because I felt safe with him. Is that it though? Just because I feel safe? How can I tell if I truly loved him or was just using him to get over Peter? How can I tell if I was merely using Taichi as a shield from someone who would threaten to kill me? Nothing was starting to make sense in my head anymore. Nothing…not even what had happened the past few days.

"Taichi?" I said quietly. "I've…heard from the band what happened to you and Peter and Jyou and his dad told me what happened to me here but…I want you to tell me. Everything. I want to hear it come from you." Pain swept across his face and he swallowed hard before starting.

"…Peter was trying to get in from backstage," he spoke softly. "To see you. I panicked because I knew that if he got anywhere near you, he would hurt you. So I ran up to the door and blocked it off from him. I wouldn't budge and he started to get pissed off at me. Two members from your band saw what was happening and tried to calm us down.

I knew I had to get Peter as far away from you as possible, so I said a few things to him, kicked him in the shins and ran off. He followed me…he's a pretty fast runner I'll admit. Once he caught up to me, we started to fight. He started to choke me when I told him that I knew that deep down, you were in love with me, not him.

"After Peter took you away, I had two choices: either walk away like you've told me to and have you gone for ever, or follow you two and fight for you. Well, after being choked, I decided that I wouldn't give up so easily. Especially if it would save your life. I ran after you two, but it took me a while to find you. Finally…I saw you run out into view and I ran toward you but…I was too late.

"I watched you as your body flew forward and hit the hard ground…I watched as the truck ran over you leg…It was terrifying to hold you in my arms and know that any second you could have died. I felt your blood on my skin and saw the light in your eyes start to fade out.

"Once we got here, I had to wait for what seemed like forever to see how you were doing. Hikari found out what had happened from me, and came to keep me company. The first doctor you had was a total dumbass and wouldn't let me get near you because I wasn't 'related' or whatever. That pissed me off because…I wanted to see for myself that you would be alright. Then…the nurse came out and told us that you had died.

"That was the worst feeling in the world. It was like…part of me died with you and the rest of me wanted to join it. I broke down and started to cry. I had the cops called on me and they were convinced I was crazy. They dumped me out in front of the hospital where I continued to cry. I started to hate everything and everyone. I don't know how long I was there…but the next thing I remember is waking up to see Jyou's dad and my little sister kneeling next to me.

"Dr. Kiddo told me that you were alive but unconscious. He also told me that he would be taking care of you from now on. I asked him immediately if I could see you and he agreed…

"You looked a little cleaner than when I saw you on the street, but you still had tints of red coming out from various spots of your body and your face was cut up. Since that night, I haven't wanted to leave your side…" I could tell it was hard for him to tell me all of that…but I'm glad he did. It made me feel like I understood not only the situation better, but what he went through the past few days. Unfortunately, it had been like living in hell…and this was all because of me. Slowly, I started to pull my hand out of his.

"I'm sorry Taichi," I whispered.

"For what?" he asked, not letting me completely pull out of his grip.

"…for making you weak."

"Yamato—"

"You…you shouldn't be with me. I just make you weak because I'm not strong enough to fend for myself. You'd be much better with out me to drag you down…I know that things should be easier since Peter is dead now…but I'm still scared. I'm scared that I'll let you down, or hurt you. I'm scared that all of these emotions are just a lie and that I've just been using you. Just as a safe haven from some psycho who wouldn't let me be. I hope it's not that…but right now I feel so angry and sad and confused that I can't tell what's right or wrong anymore and I—" Taichi gently placed a finger to my mouth. I stopped talking.

"Yama…I'm _not_ strong. That month where I had to completely avoid you was like hell. Having you so close to me and knowing I couldn't be with you…then when you died…" Taichi shook his head. "I wasn't strong enough to protect you. I tried so hard to keep you safe from anyone that would hurt you…but I failed you. It's my fault that you almost died…"

"…how is it your fault? Taichi, I didn't care about dying."

"Don't say that Yama."

"Not fun hearing those words huh?" I smiled. "'I don't care about my life…'" Taichi gently touched my face with his free hand. I could hear my heart beat pick up on the monitor slightly as he stroked my cheek bone. I closed my eyes, suddenly frustrated again.

"Do you still feel like you need me to give you time?" he asked. I thought carefully…then slowly nodded. _I want to make sure I'm not using you just to get over Peter…maybe a psychiatrist will help me figure that out…_Taichi looked kind of uncertain. As though he didn't know if he could wait any longer for me. Finally however, he sighed and nodded. "Well then…take all the time you need." I gave him a confused look as he simply stood and kissed me on the top of my head. "I know you love me Yamato…but I don't want to force you into deciding. I think that might have been what drove you away in the first place."

"You know, you don't have to be so nice to me," I growled. "I'm sure I've been a big pain in the ass making you wait around for some answer that who knows when it will come." Taichi laughed.

"Well, call me stupid then," he said. "Because I want to wait for you to say whether you love me or not. It will just make all the difference hearing it come from your mouth. If it takes me my whole life to wait for you, I will." He paused. "But…the only thing I ask is that you don't chase me away like you did a month ago while you think about it…please?" I thought for a moment.

"Yeah," I answered. "I don't think I could deal with being away from you either."

And that was it. Our silent deal. I would do my best to continue to heal and Taichi would wait for me. I know I should have told him how I had felt before…but I'm still scared. Peter has scarred my heart and soul forever. I know it would take me a while to admit to myself that I was in love with Taichi again. It would take me a while to fully commit to not only myself, but to Taichi. He didn't deserve an emotionally broken person who couldn't trust even himself.

Taichi wasn't the only one who needed patience, I did too. I needed to learn to over come my trails. I had to stop running from the truth when it came so close to me. I had to learn to be confident and trusting of others around me. I know that one day…I can be healed completely.

At that moment, I decided that I would change.

_Voices tell me I should carry on  
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone  
Baby, my baby  
It's written on your face  
but You still wonder if we made a big mistake___

Chorus:  
I tried to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I've prayed for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be , incomplete

_-Incomplete, Backstreet Boys_

_

* * *

_

I hope I portrayed Yamato's thought process well...and if not, please don't be mad at Yamato. I tried to stick with my original idea for this chapter and it kind of started splitting off into three different directions.

_Like I said...I think I could have made this stronger. Oh well...maybe one day I'll come back and re-write this story and also maybe even "Reaching for the Moon." That is...after I finish writing up all the stupid plot bunnies that jump out at me out of no where..._

_Please tell me what you think! Do you like it? Do you hate it? Constructive criticism is welcomed, but flames (comments saying that my story and my writing style sucks) are not. They will be used to roast weenies for me and my reviewers who have stuck with this series of Tai and Matt's rollercoaster of love since the beginning. Don't worry guys! The ride will soon come to a close._

_Speaking of reviewers...if anyone out there has an idea for a Christmas one-shot for me, please feel free to drop me a message telling me (no Sorato or Taiora or...just anything pairing Tai and Matt with other people (TAITO/YAMACHI IS MY OTP!)). If not...well, I'll just have to scrape up an idea for a Taito Christmas one-shot._


	17. Epilogue: Far Away

_**Two Months Later…**_

"Taichi! Wait up!" My thoughts are interrupted by a frustrated shout from behind me. I turn and look down at Yamato who is trying his best to keep up with me…despite the boot he has on his left leg. I chuckled at his sad attempt of keeping up with me and waited for him to climb up the steep hill.

It was a clear spring day on April 26th. The sun was slowly setting behind the pine trees and a soft breeze blew down against us. Yamato had had a psychiatrist appointment earlier that day and I decided afterwards that I would take him up into the mountains for a little "surprise" I had in mind. Unfortunately, the surprise couldn't be until night and so I had decided to take Yamato on a little hiking trip down a "steady" trail down the side of the mountain and now back up to where I had parked my grandfather's old, rusty, Chevy truck. Yamato was slightly panting by the time he caught up to me and he bent over to catch his breath.

"Did you know that you can be _incredibly_ slow sometimes Yama?" I said to him. Yamato looked up at me with a teasing glare.

"Well what do you expect?" He replied standing up. "You know I can't go far with this boot on."

"Sure, sure." I stuck my tongue out at him. He tried to punch me on my arm, but because of the bulky boot on his leg, he lost his balance. My heart jumped into my throat as I quickly caught him and held him close to me. "Careful Yama! I don't want you rolling down this hill and breaking the other leg now!"

"…I'm sorry." Yamato muttered as he buried his face into the crook of my neck.

"You apologize too much," I chuckled and kissed his head. It was a nasty habit we had developed together; He'd apologize for something, I'd blow it off and kiss him on the head. Yamato pulled back and looked at me with those big blue eyes I had always fallen head over heels for. I brushed a stray hair from his face and then wrapped one of his arms around my shoulder. We slowly continued our hike up to the car. "So what'd you talk about with your psychiatrist today?"

"We talked about lots of stuff," he said. "The band, how I'm taking the paparazzi pressure, if I'm going suicidal—" Yamato had lost his footing again and I held him up. He clutched on to me tighter and I gently patted his side. I cringed inwardly as I felt the knife scar through his thin shirt.

"I don't think you're going suicidal," I said to him as we continued on our way. "I think your boot is trying to kill you." Yamato was quiet for a moment, and then he laughed quietly.

"...you were also brought up," Yamato continued on. I looked at him and he was staring up ahead. He didn't continue on.

"Well?" I pressed on.

"Well what?"

"What did you say about me? You can't say, 'oh you were brought up,' and not say anything about it." Yamato smiled at the comment but didn't say anything. I glared at him playfully. "So…how is the band doing anyways? You haven't really talked much about them to me since…you know…"

"We're all doing well," Yamato replied. "Anneke is doing well with the move and even said she had a girl ask her out. Hayato and Shino are still the goofy duo of the band and Masaru has been taking care of the band while I've been recovering." He paused then smiled. "You know, my dad set us up with a sort of contract with the television station. Anytime we decide to throw a concert, we just let them know and we can be broadcasted out on channel five."

"Yama, that's great!" I beamed. "I bet the other band who got first are going to be mad with jealousy when they click on the T.V. and see _The Teenage Wolves _on screen!" Yamato laughed. "How did you manage to get that?"

"My dad…I guess he felt kind of guilty for just running off to work the morning of…the band competition." I nodded understandingly and we continued on in silence. Yamato and I had a silence agreement that we would try and avoid his near death experience when ever possible. Sometimes however, it was just unavoidable and we would just have to talk about it.

By the time we reached the truck, the sun was completely gone and the stars were starting to shine. I helped Yamato to get inside the back of the pickup and I went to turn on the car radio. On my way back, I pulled out the blanked from the back seat and joined Yamato's right side in the truck. We sat there listening to "Control" by Metro Station and enjoying the scenery. I grinned once I saw the moon starting to rise above the horizon.

"So, you want to tell me what you were saying about me?" I asked Yamato.

"Only if you're going to tell me what we are doing here," Yamato countered.

"You'll soon find out," I ruffled his hair. He glared at me and ran his fingers through his hair to fix any misplacement I may have made. I smiled and looked down at the wrist watch my dad had let me borrow, since mountains have been known to kill cell phone reception. I sighed with satisfaction and looked up at the sky. _It'll be a matter of minutes now._ I felt Yamato shiver as a cold breeze blew against us. "Cold?" I didn't wait for him to answer before I threw the heavy blanket over him.

"Thanks," he muttered. "But don't you want some too?"

"I'll be alright," I shrugged off. We sat in silence for a moment. I looked at Yamato. He was staring at the ground, deep in his own thought. Over these past few months, I found it getting harder to determine any of his emotions. I remember there was a time where I had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking about…but then he'd surprise me with something totally different.

That's why I'd always compare Yamato to the moon. I know, stupid how I still compare him to the moon even though it's been almost two years. That's really the only way I can come close to describing Yamato's personality though. He's like the moon. Forever changing and dependent on…the sun…I sighed and looked back up into the sky. I grinned once I finally saw what I had been waiting for.

"Hey, Yamato?" I said to him quietly. "Do you remember how we said a long time ago that you were like the moon and I was like the sun?" He nodded. I nudged him and pointed toward the sky. "Well, look! This is what I wanted to show you!" I heard him gasp as he saw the sight in front of us.

The moon had a deep red down at the base of it, which slowly turned to an orange shade at the middle and then at the tip was a bright white. The reddish moon stood out brightly against the dark blue sky and out shone all of the stars surrounding it. I had been waiting for this night for a few weeks now and I had been dying to show Yamato this beauteous sight. I scooted closer to him.

"It's a lunar eclipse," I whispered to him. He continued to stare out at the moon. "A lunar eclipse happens when the sun, earth and moon are exactly lined up. The reason why the moon looks red is because the earth is blocking the rays of light from reaching the moon. Pretty cool, huh?" Yamato didn't say anything, he just kept staring. I looked at him curiously. "…Yama?"

"Peter is the earth," he muttered.

"What?"

"Peter. He's like the earth in this case. Blocking the moon from what it wants the most and causing it to bleed like that." I looked up at the moon and started to panic. I didn't think Yamato would take it like _this_ and I had just realized how true his words were.

"Oh shit Yamato! I'm sorry! I didn't realize that you'd take it that way! I'm so sorry. Here, we can leave if you want to." I lifted up to my knees and was about to hop out of the back of the truck, but I felt Yamato grab my arm.

"No," he said. "It's ok Taichi. It's not your fault." I examined him carefully and he smiled. I lowered myself down again and Yamato shared his blanket with me. He surprised me even further by snuggling up next to me and resting his head on my shoulder. I hesitantly wrapped my arm around his shoulder and squeezed him tightly. Then I rested my head on top of his head and closed my eyes, taking in the moment of being so close to him.

"Taichi?"

"Hm?"

"…do you love me?"

"Always, Yama."

"You didn't even think about it."

"I already have. The year you were gone, the months of waiting for you, the minutes I held you while you were dying…I don't need to think about it anymore. I know that I love you and that's enough for me." Silence followed afterwards, but I didn't feel affected by it.

"Taichi?" Yamato muttered.

"Yes?" I asked. Yamato tilted his head up and kissed my jaw.

"I'm ready."

"Alright then. I'll take you home now, just—"

"No, that's not what I mean." I pulled back from him and looked at him. His face looked nervous but calm at the same time. "I mean I'm ready to give you my answer." I waited for him nervously as he stayed quiet for a moment then sighed.

"Taichi…I'm sorry," he started. My heart immediately sank at those words. I looked down at the ground. For the longest time, I had been so sure that he loved me…I guess I was wrong. "I'm sorry that I made you wait so long. It was stupid of me for running away from the truth."

"What truth might that be?" I asked down heartedly.

"…that I love you." I perked up quickly and I looked at Yamato again. He looked kind of upset. "I've always loved you. I'm an idiot for realizing that until now. I mean…just thinking about these past couple of years, it seems like it was my fault for everything getting screwed up."

"It wasn't just your fault," I interrupted. "I hid my feelings from you and decided to play match-maker when it wasn't any of my business. Then I'd keep pressuring you into telling me whether you loved me or not." Yamato shook his head.

"I didn't want to hurt you," he sighed.

"You're not hurting me now."

"Maybe not now, but what about tomorrow? Or the next day? Or the next day? Or the day where someone uses me to get to you? You were so strong with out me and now I'm like a weight to you. A burden that you have to carry around because I'm not strong enough on my own."

"First of all Yama, you're not a weight or a burden. And you know what else Yamato Ishida? You _are_ strong!" Yamato laughed and it irritated me. "I'm serious! I mean, just look at you. A few years ago, you'd go along with any thing I'd tell you to do. Now, you're setting limits and saying no. You stood up to Peter and…even went as far as to give up your own life to safe yourself from him…You're one of the strongest person's I've come to known and—Yamto, why are you crying?" Yamato had let out a miserable sob while I had been talking. I pulled him closer to me stroked his hair.

"I don't want to lose you!" he sobbed. "I don't want to hurt you either! I love you Taichi, but I feel like—"

"Shh…it's ok Yamato. It's ok." Yamato continued to cry softly and I kissed his hair. I thought that weeks of therapy might have helped out a lot, but now I saw that he was still suffering in silence.

"I don't want to lose you…" he whispered.

"You never will," I whispered back. "I will always be here for you. No matter what."

"What about when you die? Or if I die?" I flinched at the thought of him dying and pulled back so that he was looking at me. His blue eyes were rimming with tears and his lip was slightly quivering.

"We'll still be together…in here." I placed a hand on the left side of his chest, indicating his heart. Yamato looked down, then up at me before he started laughing. _I fail at being romantic…_ "Last time I try to be sentimental with _you!_" Yamato smiled up at me and I smiled back.

"Thanks Taichi," he said. "You make me feel…safe. And happy. I love you Taichi."

"I love you too, Yamato," I replied to him. In the distance, we heard a guitar playing from the radio.

"I love this song," he sighed and nestled back into our earlier cuddling position. "It's always reminded me of you."

"How so?" I asked.

"Just listen to the lyrics." I rested my head on Yamato's head again and I listened as he softly sang along with the song playing on the radio.

_This time, this place  
Misused, mistakes  
Too long, too late  
Who was I to make you wait?_

Just one chance, just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know  
You know, you know

That I love you, I have loved you all along  
And I miss you, been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

I smiled as I listened to the chorus. Yamato was right…it did kind of sound like me. I pulled back and looked at Yamato. His eyes were now shinning and he looked out to the direction of the lunar eclipse. It was still a blood red, but we both knew it would be a matter of time before the sun and moon would reunite with one another again. They were tied together with by an invisible bond and we both knew that nothing could keep them apart for long.

_One my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand_

I'd give it all, I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know  
You know, you know

That I love you, I have loved you all along  
And I miss you, been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore  


Yamato leaned forward and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and pulled him closer to me. Since our first kiss, we had gotten it to be less awkward, but it still felt the same to me. It wasn't like there were fireworks shooting out into the sky, or like a spark flickered at the moment our lips touched. It was a simple, "he's the one."

Yamato pulled back slightly, but I reattached our lips together once more with more passion. My tongue brushed the bottom of his lip and I could feel him smile as he obediently opened his mouth. As my tongue roamed freely through his mouth, I slowly lowered ourselves so that we were lying down. I straddled over him and was sure to not drop a lot of my weight on top of him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I kissed his jaw line, neck and then retreated back into his mouth. I felt incredibly happy at this point.__

So far away, been far away for far too long  
So far away, been far away for far too long  
But you know  
You know, you know

Yamato pushed me back slightly from the kiss. I whimpered and started to kiss him again. He chuckled and then turned his head slightly to one side to expose his neck to me. I quickly planted his pale neck with kisses then pulled back to look at him. Any fear and doubt he may have had earlier seemed to have vanished.

"I love you Yamato," I whispered. Yamato smiled and replied to me by singing the next part of the song to me.

"_I wanted  
I wanted you to stay_

'_Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say_

_That I love you, that I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you for being away for far too long  
So keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go_

Keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go  
Hold on to me, never let me go  
Hold on to me, never let me go."

After he finished the last note, I couldn't help myself but to kiss him again. It was a soft kiss, letting him know that I appreciated the song dedication. I moved myself from on top of him to lying next to his right side. He snuggled up close to me, which I'm going to have to admit was adorable (like a puppy). Oh hell, _anything_ Yamato does is adorable! I guess that just comes with being in love. The other person could do the stupidest thing on earth, and you still think it's adorable.

"I vote that that song be considered as 'our song' from now on," I muttered to him. He nodded and then rested his head on my chest. I smiled as I realized that he was listening to my heart beat. "Yama?" He looked up at me and I swallowed nervously. "Do you…want to be my…boyfriend?" The words fell clumsily out of my mouth. It felt slightly weird asking Yamato to be my boyfriend…though I had fantasized it for the longest time. His blue eyes shone with curiosity and I sighed. _Please don't tell me I'm going to have to wait _another_ two years before you give me an answer!_

"…I'd love to Taichi," he surprised me by answering quickly. He smiled at me surely. "I…I can't promise that I'll be the best boyfriend in the world, and I'm still trying to heal the best that I can…but I want to be with you."

"R-really?" I asked hopefully. He nodded and went back to listening to my heart beat.

"If it means we get to be like this forever, then yes." I chuckled and entwined my right hand with his left one, which had previously been wrapped around my stomach.

I knew that the road in front of us wouldn't be easy. What with people not being accepting of boy-boy love and the paparazzi hounding over Yamato (especially with his near death experience and such). I knew we'd find a way though. We'd always find a way…just like the moon and the sun always end up together. No matter how far apart they were, or if the earth got in their way, they would always fall back into each other's arms. It had been a tough road for both of us, I know. But at that moment, having Yamato next to me, listening to my heart that was beating for him, I felt like it was worth it.

In the end, it was _all _worth having the patience.


	18. Note from the Author

_**NOTE: **This story is in Taichi's POV by the way...you know, just in case you were confused..._

_Ok…for some STUPID REASON! Fanfiction has decided to go all stupid on me. So I had no choice but to add this stupid author's note as its own chapter…Usually, I'm ok with fanfiction screwing up my fonts and such, BUT NOT THIS TIME! This time, it all had to be written precisely how I had it! Oh crap, it's almost four in the morning! Better wrap my rant up…ahem…STUPID FANFICTION (dot) NET!_

_Alright, now getting back to the important issue...this story is now over. I feel pretty proud of this chapter actually (hence my anal-ness of it being perfect) and it makes me kind of sad to know that I won't be able to work on this story any longer. :( Have no fear however, because if you may have taken a look at my profile, I still have some more stories lined up. Especially since I've been rummaging around looking up yummy slash fics. :D I've felt inspired to write more and I actually want to keep writing a lot of my ideas that I have in my mind (I just need to get the confidence and the time first). I actually now have four stories that I am writing up at the same time…good bye sanity. :P_

_I have an idea of writing a short of one-shot, follow up to this series that will feature some lemony goodness. It would be my first lemon and so probably won't be that good…so in advanced: sorry. :(_

_Thank you SOO much to all of you readers and reviewers out there. I could not have finished this story with out all of the support and friendship that has been extended to me through out these two stories. You all are in a very special place in my heart and I am forever grateful to all of you. 3_

_Please tell me what you think of not only this chapter, but the story as a whole (if you can). You know the drill: positive feed-back and constructive criticism=heck yes! Flames/bashes=no and will be used to roast weenies! Now…I'm going to go take out my contacts (WHICH ARE DRIVING ME INSANE!) and go sleep for a few hours._

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ The song I used in the epilogue is called, "Far Away" by Nickelback. Obviously, I don't own the song or Digimon._


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